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To think I'm not asking too much?

(24 Posts)
arabhorsesarebest Tue 18-Oct-16 10:11:17

I know this is only a small thing but I'm beginning to find it slightly irritating.
This year we've had 10 friends/couples/their small children to stay varying from 1 night to 2 week. We pride ourselves on being generous welcoming hosts, the room they stay in is very nice, I provide expensive shampoos/soaps etc soft towels and flowers, we are warm friendly and easy going. I cheerfully cook special requests, I remember what people's favourite dishes are and try an do it, (most would say I'm a very good cook) and go to great lengths to cater for special diets, visitors are free to help themselves to any food they fancy. Friends are free to use our house as a base to see our area (we live in an AONB) or join in our lives as they please.
We only have two rules, 1 I use a stair gate that keeps my dogs downstairs, one dog in particular is obsessed about going upstairs and they love to get on beds and I don't want them doing this, so I ask visitors can they keep it shut and 2 the doorway to my entrance hall must be shut before opening the front door so that my dogs who aren't overly bright would follow a person out the front and get run over. I genuinely don't think this is too much to ask. When visitors arrive I lightheartedly explain this to them. But no one ever does, as time goes by I ask them in an increasingly firm way but again few take it on board, yesterday was the final straw a friend staying left the bloody stairgate open and the door into the entrance hall and the front door open, leaving me running around after my dogs, I just wanted to scream "why can't you shut the the f*****g gate/door how many times do I have to ask.
AIBU?
If no how do I get my message across without actually being rude.
I've thought about a self closer on the door to the entrance hall but the stair gate is a different matter. I just don't get it you've bent over to open it why can't you just shut it behind you.

ByeByeLilSebastian Tue 18-Oct-16 10:13:46

I'm not sure what you can do, but you sound lovely. Can I come and be a guest? I'm good at shutting stair gates grin

Imavinoops Tue 18-Oct-16 10:16:13

If the dog got out I would call them to help come and catch it! XD Catching a dog that has got out is tricky, mine always think it's a hilarious game to run away as soon as you come close to them!! I doubt they would forget to close the gate then!

We have a stair gate that swings shut by itself to keep the dog downstairs as we have a 3 year old who doesn't get the concept of closing doors and gates. It's pretty handy and keeps the doggy contained in her space rather than running around and destroying things upstairs.

arabhorsesarebest Tue 18-Oct-16 10:16:51

If you can shut a gate/door you're most welcome.
Do you have any special dietary requirements/favourites?
Perhaps I should get rid of my friends and find some gate/door shutting fanatics!

Aderyn2016 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:18:08

Stop having those people to stay.

arabhorsesarebest Tue 18-Oct-16 10:19:34

We look near a busy road this is why I'm so paranoid, if the dogs got out chances are they be run over instantly. I know on the surface they look well behaved (people comment on this) but if they outside the dogs will follow thinking they're going for a walk. It seems pretty obvious to me that

Rumtopf Tue 18-Oct-16 10:20:15

Honestly? That's exactly what I'd have said to my friends if they kept doing something so irritating.
I'm a very good host too and generally let things slide. A weekend at your house sounds lovely!

arabhorsesarebest Tue 18-Oct-16 10:20:18

Aderyn all of them this would leave few friend left. Mind you having said this ......,

DartmoorDoughnut Tue 18-Oct-16 10:21:29

Ooo I have stairgates everywhere to contain the dogs/toddler so I'm well trained can I come and stay too?! Sounds awesome at yours!

Massive signs you can hang up when you have visitors?

ImperialBlether Tue 18-Oct-16 10:23:05

I would shout "Who the hell left the stair gate open?" every single time.

To be honest they sound really selfish - all of them! You're hardly asking much of them, are you?

What's an AONB? Are you really paying for all food etc if they're with you for two weeks?

Mozfan1 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:23:19

Just say to them 'were you born in a barn?' And give them the death stare. That must be so irritating! And yes can I come for tea too? I'm not fussy and I'm used to having baby gates for 3 nutty greyhounds 😇

Coconutty Tue 18-Oct-16 10:26:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foxysoxy01 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:28:37

Can you put those command sticky hooks on the wall and stair gate then a bungie from hook to hook? It will act as a self-closer and you can still open it with bungee attached so no having to undo and reattach. Maybe bend the metal hook of the bungee over so you physically can't undo it from the hooks.

And self closing door for entrance hall?

Aderyn2016 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:28:45

They are taking you for granted and showing no respect for you or your home. You are really not asking much to expect guests to consider the safety of your pets.

I think you have looked after them so well they now think of your home as a hotel and are treating you like staff.

PoppyBirdOnAWire Tue 18-Oct-16 10:33:16

You need to have your house to yourselves more. Or open as an official guest house.

Rrross1ges Tue 18-Oct-16 10:35:18

arab when I come to stay can I bring my dog? I promise I'll shut the stairgate and the door. In our house it's normally the kids leaving the door open. Catching a greyhound is a tricky business!

bumsexatthebingo Tue 18-Oct-16 10:35:26

I would just not host the repeat offenders again. Once you could forget if you're not used to it but after that you'd be extremely careful if you had any respect for the person you were staying with and your home. Another solution would to put self closing gates on the stair and the door. Not that you should have to pay for that. Maybe you could set up a crowdfunding page and all the forgetful friends you generously host could contribute! Only half joking grin

MrsBobDylan Tue 18-Oct-16 10:39:27

Say to them 'either you shut the stair gate and hall door or I can't have you to stay again as it put my dogs in danger.'. They are being bloody awful guests. You sound amazing however.

BloodyBaubles Tue 18-Oct-16 10:46:55

Sorry, what is AONB?

Redpony1 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:58:19

Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty

TimeIhadaNameChange Tue 18-Oct-16 11:05:34

I'd tell the friend currently staying to leave with no notice. That's appalling!

As for the others I'd tell them in no uncertain terms when they arrive, not lightheartedly joking about it. It is serious and they need to know it.

Friends of DP probably think I'm highly weird and unwelcoming, especially the one I refused to let smoke in either the house (asthmatic) or back garden (didn't want the hens eating ash and butts). But I don't care. Like you we live in an tourist destination so people come out of the woodwork. That's fine, but respect the fact this is my home.

arabhorsesarebest Tue 18-Oct-16 11:15:08

Thank you for all you responses.
We enjoy having people to stay but I am going to much firmer from now on I'll leave out the lighthearted "we don't have many rules but please can you keep the stairgate/door shut" and cut to the chase "can you keep the f*****g stairgate/door or I'll feed you vegetarian gluten free diet eating wife pork scratching and apple crumble and then ask you to leave" that should do it!

moosemama Tue 18-Oct-16 11:24:21

Say to them 'either you shut the stair gate and hall door or I can't have you to stay again as it put my dogs in danger.'. They are being bloody awful guests. You sound amazing however.

^^ This.

I would also cross any repeat offenders of my 'welcome to stay' list. It's basically down to them not respecting you, your home and your house rules.

We have the same rules in our house. Kitchen dog gate and hall door have to be shut if the front door is open, as we live on a busy road and have two dogs. If my children can manage to remember, then it's perfectly reasonable to expect adult visitors to do the same.

I am very well trained re gates and doors - I'll come and evict your friends and move in if you like! grin

moosemama Tue 18-Oct-16 11:25:38

Definitely go with that! grin

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