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10.30pm is too late for a non-urgent phone call

(47 Posts)
redskytonight Tue 18-Oct-16 09:41:21

The phone rang last night at 10.30, scaring the life out of me and DH (who assumed it must be some sort of emergency as it was so late), and waking up one of the DC.

It turned out to be my mum, who had some news to share. The news was something she’d known since mid-afternoon (so not something she was desperate to tell me) and could have easily waited until the next day or the day after (it wasn’t vital that I knew it that day).
She was narked when I pointed out it was too late for just a general call and was perhaps not suitably appreciative about her ringing to tell me her news, and pointed out I could have just let it go to the answerphone if it was too late for us (we didn’t because we’d assumed it was important).

AIBU to think that you don’t ring at this time unless it is urgent?

Davros Tue 18-Oct-16 09:43:39

YANBU. I agree that late phone calls are for emergencies only. Couldn't she have texted you?

wintersdawn Tue 18-Oct-16 09:46:59

I'm with you. In laws called at 10.15pm last week when husband was on a work night out and I'd gone to sleep.

They then got upset with my rudness when I basically woke up enough to realise it wasn't husband with a problem and told them I was going back to bed smile

DeleteOrDecay Tue 18-Oct-16 09:53:03

YANBU, anything past 9pm is too late for my unless of course it's urgent.

Mil called at gone 9:30pm once demanding to know why I had 'unfriended' her on Facebook. I hadn't, I had recently lost a close relative, I was grieving and wanted a break from social media so I deactivated my account. It didn't help that she was rude and accusatory about it. We get on okay but I've never forgotten it.

ThatGingerOne Tue 18-Oct-16 09:53:44

YANBU - if my mum's phone rings after nine she slow turns to look at with a face like this hmm and she points at it for a little while saying ''who the hell is this'' before answering grin

Sparklesilverglitter Tue 18-Oct-16 09:54:55

I often don't call my parents until 10-11pm.
I certainly wouldn't assume a call after 10:30pm was an emergency

It depends what time you go to bed really.

Ghostandpumpkin16 Tue 18-Oct-16 09:56:40

I wouldn't assume that a phone call after 10:30pm was an emergency, sometimes I'm on the phone to people for a chat at that time often.

The ring on our phone gets turned down onc DC are in bed so not to wake them up

ErrolTheDragon Tue 18-Oct-16 09:57:44

YANBU - unless late phone calls are normal practice in your family or with your friends.

AnnaT45 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:00:32

YANBU! I have a real thing about calls past 9, get it from my parents who liked to have a glass of wine and wind down at that time of night ! Agree with PP depends on your family/friends. DH and his mum often rung each other at 10, I think it's crazy. I'm too knackered to talk at that time of day!

Wrinklytights Tue 18-Oct-16 10:06:22

Yanbu. My FIL does this regularly. I know now that it's just him, but the first time he did it I panicked. It's weird ringing someone at 10pm or later for a chat.

Purplebluebird Tue 18-Oct-16 10:22:23

Yanbu, I go to bed at 10 to cope with early mornings, so I would be pretty grumpy with someone phoning me after that! :P

Ginslinger Tue 18-Oct-16 10:23:03

never call before 9.00am or after 9.00pm unless you know that the other person really really doesn't mind.

BarInSpace Tue 18-Oct-16 10:24:58


AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 18-Oct-16 10:26:40

It's personal, I think. People call me for a chat at all hours. I mute my phone when I go to bed unless it's called twice in quick succession (then it'll ring).

I'd be quite likely to message someone before I rang to check it was convenient anyway though.

scaryteacher Tue 18-Oct-16 10:27:23

Ds forgets that we are an hour ahead of him, so will ring for a chat mid essay and call at midnight our time. I go to bed late so it's not a problem. It's nice he rings.

MuseumOfCurry Tue 18-Oct-16 10:29:14

I wouldn't call someone I don't know rather well past 9pm or so.

For everyone else, certainly there's an established pattern.

NavyandWhite Tue 18-Oct-16 10:30:00

I'm agog at this 9pm thing.

9pm is not late. I'm still faffing around at that time.

10.30 is quite late but it's not 3 in the morning either.

Coconutty Tue 18-Oct-16 10:31:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coconutty Tue 18-Oct-16 10:32:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite Tue 18-Oct-16 10:33:59

What before 9pm? shockgrin

NavyandWhite Tue 18-Oct-16 10:36:31

Fil rang to tell us that his mum had died at 4.30am.

She was 89 and it was expected. Now that was unnecessary imo. Like DH said it's not like he could do anything. Fil didn't even want to talk just thought he'd let us know.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup Tue 18-Oct-16 10:38:55

That would have me jumping out of bed at that time!!! Inappropriate.

MuseumOfCurry Tue 18-Oct-16 10:39:36

I don't think it's so much that 9pm is late, but rather that I'm knee-deep in family stuff e.g. putting kids to bed and eyeing up the couch and a bottle of wine.

It's fine if my sister (for example) calls, I'd probably put her on speaker phone to say to everyone but I don't really want to hear from casual acquaintances at this hour.

Yawnyawnallday Tue 18-Oct-16 10:40:15

Anyone who knows me knows that a post 9 pm call is emergency only. I know others who will be happy to have a chatty call at that time. Horses for courses.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:40:44

Yanbu. I'm in bed (and often asleep) by 10 most nights.

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