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to not let DD go to this birthday party?

(65 Posts)
Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:13:26

Her friend invited 4 friends for her birthday, including DD. The other three are also invited to sleep over. Not DD. They're 10.
DD wants to go. We think it's cruel.

WipsGlitter Mon 17-Oct-16 20:14:33

If she wants to go I'd let her.

FetchezLaVache Mon 17-Oct-16 20:15:04

YANBU!! That really is cruel. Imagine your poor DD when you go to pick her up and the others are all in their pyjamas, excited about their sleepover. sad

Dontpanicpyke Mon 17-Oct-16 20:16:02

Wow so they left her out of the sleepover and she's the only one. Why?

mysistersimone Mon 17-Oct-16 20:16:28

It is cruel. I you know the girls parents? Can you ask them why she's not invited to the sleepover? I'd need to know the reasoning.

Starlight2345 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:19:52

Yes I would speak to mum... It sounds a little odd.

Selfimproved Mon 17-Oct-16 20:20:13

Seems a but cruel, but does your daughter mind? Maybe she hates sleepovers and she has told her friends this? My DS1 had to be picked up from the last 2 in the night. We are now having a break from the sleepovers and he's happy to be picked up while others sleep over.
Maybe it's this and not a cruel game.

notangelinajolie Mon 17-Oct-16 20:20:16

Nooooo! That is mean. I would not allow DD to go. If party girl's parents ask why you should tell them.

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:23:09

Don't know the parents very well. Mum is a little odd. Not sure she likes us for some reason (only guessing, I have no idea). I don't want to ask.
DD says that birthday girl could invite 4 for the day but only 3 to sleep over.
DD got really upset when we said she couldn't go as apparently they've arranged a treasure hunt.
We think it's insulting to leave out 1 girl. if there were more than one, it would be more understandable.

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:24:12

DD adores sleep over. It's her favourite thing in the world!

Graceflorrick Mon 17-Oct-16 20:25:50

Oh, that's really awful. I would check with the mum as perhaps there's been some confusion?

Selfimproved Mon 17-Oct-16 20:27:05

In that case, it's weird and perhaps cruel. I would either talk to the parent or just say no.
Sorry for your DD.

OutDamnedWind Mon 17-Oct-16 20:29:35

I think I would speak to the parent in a 'DD is under the impression that she's not invited to sleepover, just wanted to check we haven't got wires crossed' and take it from there.

If indeed she isn't, YANBU, that is quite nasty.

OutDamnedWind Mon 17-Oct-16 20:30:47

And as much as your DD wants to go now, how will she feel in the day when they're talking about what they'll do later on/when it's time for her to be picked up and they're planning what to do next?

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:30:58

Thank you for confirming. I was genuinely wondering.
Have told DD we will do something else equally fun and she's just to turn down the invitation gracefully.
Some people are weird.

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:33:12

OutDamnedWind this is what DH is trying to explain to DD.
I feel it's humiliating to even broach the subject with the mum.

agnesf Mon 17-Oct-16 20:35:25

Maybe they just haven't got room for 4. At least she is invited to the party. This happened to my DD at this age - people round us have quite small houses. DD just accepted the explanation that only 3/4/5/ or whatever could stay

Showgirl109 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:36:25

This happened to me at about 12 and I still remember it. I was so upset, I agree it's really humiliating. Seems a strange thing to do. Either do something else or speak to the parents. I suppose it's possible that they said only 3 as it's a sleepover and they didn't want her to be left out entirely and just have not thought it through.

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:37:38

I would absolutely understand if there at least 2 not sleeping over. Just 1 is awful.

OutDamnedWind Mon 17-Oct-16 20:38:48

Agreed OP, although I've always found the 'selected few to sleep over' after a party divisive and unpleasant. Have the sleepover in another day if they're desperate.

Charlie97 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:42:19

Horrid!!! Yanbu don't let your DD be humiliated!

Edma Mon 17-Oct-16 20:44:06

Agreed OutDamnedWind Either you invite people, or you don't invite them. A half-invitation is mean. More understandable when there are a few getting only half-invited though.
It's not the end of the world. Must find something exciting to do on that day with DD.

Dancergirl Mon 17-Oct-16 20:46:08

Maybe they just haven't got room for 4

Well you don't have that sort of party then. Have a sleepover with 2 or 3 guests or do something in the daytime for a bigger number of children.

Dontpanicpyke Mon 17-Oct-16 20:48:26

Yes do something fun as a family. I wouldn't encourage this friendship as it sounds a mean set up and will only get worse.

Also it's important to show kids it's ok to turn down an invite if it doesn't suit.

Leeds2 Mon 17-Oct-16 21:06:37

I wouldn't want to put my daughter through that.

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