What to do about invite

[Thefishewife]

My daughters 4th birthday
She is having a party and is allowed to invite 10 people 7 from school 2 cousins and the loud boy from next door

Nursey have been fab sat down with dd in the quite room with all the children's pictures and helped her think about the children she most played with

heres the rub one of my mummy friends son is at the same nursey and dd didn't pick him out she dosent really play with he has SN artisum and like to play on his own he is a very sweet boy and I know his mum will he hurt if I don't invite him but I really feel dds birthday would be about who she wants to invite it's not as if they even play together also I will add last year when dd was 3 they had a small class of 10 so I just invited the whole class and his mum didn't turn up

Should I just invite any way birthday should be about dd not mummy friends feelings I don't know 😕

[Thefishewife]

There in a class of 45 now it's just one big class with loads of 3/4 year old and loads of teachers

[Msqueen33]

As a mum to a child with Sen having an invite is always nice. If she didn't show it could've been because her child had a meltdown last time. If you're friends I'd probably be tempted to invite him for the sake of our friendship unless she's quite understanding.

[Thefishewife]

No she's not very understanding

[PotteringAlong]

I would invite him.

[RiverTam]

If you're DD doesn't know who to invite without looking at pictures of children, that suggests to me that she doesn't play with those children. Why can't she just ask the children she does play with? When DD was 4 she had 4 girls from nursery for a tea party. There were 49 kids all told but it was obvious that she played regularly with just these few.

[ftw]

My kids get to invite who they want and then I invite who I want. So I'd invite him.

[Nydj]

Poor little boy but even more so, poor mum of little boy as he may not be aware of the lack of invitations now and in years to come but she will and my goodness it hurts.

[Polkadot1974]

If you're friends then definitely invite. As someone on the receiving end of my little boy'/ heartbreak when his best friend didn't ask him to his party after parents left him to decide, maybe I'm biased but I would invite for sure and what a shame if this little boy is assumed not to want to go. Always better to refuse and be asked in my view

[Dontpanicpyke]

No it's dds birthday so invite who she chooses.

[TaintedAngel]

I think you should put an invite out to them. I have seen posters on here me tin how their children with SNP often get overlooked for party invites so it would be nice to squeeze a wee place for him. And I'm sure DD will happily play with whoever attends her party even if she did not realise they would be going.
Your right to say that the invites should primarily be about who she wants at her party, but given the little boy is sweet as you say and there are no issues between the two I wouldn't imagine she would be unhappy he attended. Plus you may find that they don't turn up again, or another child can't make it so you may not actually be over your number limit either.
Hope she has a fab time.

[PamBagnallsGotACollage]

I agree with a PP. Surely she's mentioned a name or two of friends she's played with. Invite them and then your friend's son and the cousins and neighbour. Does she have to have exactly ten?

[Thefishewife]

poster RiverTam Mon 17-Oct-16 19:15:20

My daughter is not 4 yet and teacher said she was mostly thinking about the party and not really whom she played with she's quite popular so teacher took her to the quite room to focus

[TeenAndTween]

I see no reason why at 4 it can't be 10 children she chooses plus 1 you choose. Maybe not for future years, but at 4 that's how I would play it.

[Dontpanicpyke]

Sorry that sounded blunt and she is only 4 so probably won't mind either way but as a general rule I don't get the inviting random kids to please mummy friends.

I had some friends whose kids my kids disliked. That's life.

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

What sort of nursery has time to do that? Can you imagine them doing that with all 45. Bonkers! Surely your DD knows her friends names?

Anyway, to your actual question, yes I do think you should invite the boy in question. Chances are they won't come anyway if they were a no show last year

[Thefishewife]

You have to rember it's not school it's nusery so not all the children are there all the time she has one girl she is very keen on but they are only at nusery together on weds morinings

[Thefishewife]

poster sparepantsandtoothbrush Mon 17-Oct-16 19:25:04

seeing as everyone keeps going on about this my daugter is adopted gets PP so has ta support 😕 So things like birthdays are very diffcult for my dd do they spend extra time supporting her

[Thefishewife]

Her birthdays is also the day she moved in with us
The day she lost her foster carer and moved away from everything she ever knew

[mycatstares]

The loud boy next door?! Brilliant nn.

I'd ask your friend if her ds would like to come to the party.

[Thefishewife]

It's a happy day but also a very sad one

[Lilaclily]

Anyone think it's totally odd that nursery would let her pick from photos , seems slightly wrong to me , a bit mean ? She'd know her friends by 4 surely

[mycatstares]

Hope she has a lovely birthday.

[mycatstares]

Lily read the bloody thread.

[witsender]

I think that is a very odd thing for them to be involved with. I would invite him, parties are a family thing here.

[TeenAndTween]

OP. Amazed they moved her on her birthday! Really pleased your DD is getting extra support even at nursery, I didn't realise it started then.

I stand by what I said, you add the extra child in this year. Next year think again. (Thinks back to the very very few party invites my AD2 got in primary).