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To leave his clothes on the bathroom floor...?

(79 Posts)
Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 18:21:47

DH is messy. I am not. DH doesn't think he is messy, and also seems to think the mess he makes is due to how busy he is (I don't buy this, it takes 5 seconds to put a cup in the dishwasher for example.) I work part time and hence to pretty much all the domestic day to day stuff, which to an extent I don't mind however I am finding myself increasingly irritated by this...
DH has a shower and leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor. Every single time. The laundry basket is next door to the bathroom, in the bedroom. We don't live in a mansion so its not far! I have asked him to put it in the laundry and I will then wash, dry and put it away. I tidy up after DS and think that DH should be a bit more considerate (tbh he doesn't have the attitude that its MY job as much as he is just oblivious as it's not something that would bother him) and putting something in the laundry isn't a big ask to help keep things tidier.
So I have been leaving it there, just where he left it. There is getting to be a reasonable pile, it has been since Friday. And I am not going to move it and hope the message will finally sink in.

HanarCantWearSweaters Mon 17-Oct-16 18:23:18

Fuck no, leave it there for the lazy bastard. I'd be pissed if that was my teen doing that, let alone a fully grown adult.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:25:42

Tip I got from my adult dd is to put the wet /smelly stuff on dp side of the bed - inside the covers. Her dp is much more house trained these days.

Timeforabiscuit Mon 17-Oct-16 18:26:13

I would helpfully tip some water over them, a little splash from the shower, spill over from the bath.

It would drive me barmy.

Dh leaves socks in the living room, its because he might put them on later - ive grown tired of taking them upstairs when we are tidying up before friends come round and now stuff them in his work bag.

dowhatnow Mon 17-Oct-16 18:28:24

Go the whole hog. Don't move his cups etc. This has to be a multi pronged attack.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 17-Oct-16 18:29:40

Nobody can think leaving stuff like this for someone else to pick up is not important.

Is he lazy abs disrespectful in other ways op?

TyneTeas Mon 17-Oct-16 18:37:49

When my dd dies stuff like this I tell her to imagine writing out a note that says "I left this job for you to finish off because..."

This article She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink is also quite good

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 18:39:33

Phew! I didn't think I was BU but you never know!
I have toyed with the idea of not moving cups etc (he does that a lot, I often find a glass with a dried up piece of lime in it from the night before) but didn't want it to get too petty!

BitOutOfPractice no, he's not remotely lazy or disrespectful in other ways, he's actually great in pretty much every other aspect thank god! I find how he leaves things very disrespectful but I strongly suspect he just doesn't see what the big deal is. He's pretty much said as much before when I have brought it up. Also, he tends to work late into the night (he works from home) and also does all the DIY stuff. While he has not said as much, I suspect this is what he views as his jobs in the house but, as I have said before to him, painting or sanding or fixing the washing machine, for example, doesn't need to be done every day!

megletthesecond Mon 17-Oct-16 18:41:31

Yanbu. My xp did this and never picked it up. He would go to work in filthy jeans because they never made the washing machine. He never got any better and after some nasty abuse we split up.

I've trained my dc's to know better.

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 18:42:09

TyneTeas that article is brilliant, I do often feel like his wife must have done!

Shesgotelectricboobs Mon 17-Oct-16 18:49:16

I've started doing this. I told dh I'm happy to take full charge of the washing (he shrinks things and forgets to take wet washing out). But things will only get washed if they're put IN the laundry basket.

This morning he mooted that he didn't have many shirts for work. And that there are pyjamas and pants on the shower room floor. And his towel smells funny (because despite me saying Sunday is towel washing day) his hasn't made it into the basket for the past 3 weeks.

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 18:51:55

Clearly this may be a national problem Shesgotelectricboobs! Infuriating isn't it!

Euphemia Mon 17-Oct-16 18:53:29

How can you live with these children?!

He doesn't see what the big deal is? There's no big deal - you've told him it's a deal so he should act on it, out of respect for you and the other inhabitants of the house!

I'd be raging! angry

Shesgotelectricboobs Mon 17-Oct-16 19:15:36

jemima completely infuriating.

I don't understand how it's easy enough to put things next to washing basket. Just not lift the lid and pop them in.

I wonder sometimes if he sees it all.

ClopySow Mon 17-Oct-16 19:16:31

paddypants13 Mon 17-Oct-16 19:20:00

My dh is also incredibly messy. I dump the things he's left out where they will inconvenience only him and occasionally bag and bin mucky clothes left on the floor. Doesn't make a blind bit of difference but makes me feel much better!

FurryLittleTwerp Mon 17-Oct-16 19:25:02

I have a strict rule about dumped clothes - if they're not in the linen basket then they don't get washed. Even if they're dumped next to the basket itself.

Even if I know they are wanted for something later in the week <evil>

DH is completely pretty shit about all things domestic, but he didn't take much training with this.

Sosidges Mon 17-Oct-16 19:53:59

When we all lived at home everything left on the floor was put into a black sack.. Eventually when its owner asks where it was, they were directed to the sack in the garden

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 20:04:33

To illustrate; last night, after watching telly with me for a bit, he went upstairs and finished off some work he was doing and apparently went to bed about 1.30am. (He works weird hours, he doesn't need to but he says he gets more done at night or in the evenings when there are less distractions.) Today, he was up for 8.30 and has filled in holes, and plastered up some small patches of the lounge we are decorating. He is not lazy in most respects!

But... the remains of his lunch (dirty chopping board, dirty cups, banana peel) are on the kitchen counter, the sink is covered in coffee granules, and there are mugs with inches of tea in scattered in the lounge, two in the bathroom and one on the mantelpiece in the kitchen. He has also left yet more dirty clothes on the pile in the bathroom, which I suspect he thinks is a pile created by ALL of us rather than specifically him! When / if I point out the mess he will state all the constructive things he has been doing, how busy he has been etc, and miss the point entirely.

As I said, I am happy to do the majority of the cleaning / tidying but not the stuff that is left in, I feel, the spirit of entitlement that says they think they are too important to bother.

dowhatnow Mon 17-Oct-16 20:17:04

If he doesn't realise they are his, pick them up and plonk them in his bed as a pp suggested.

BennyTheBall Mon 17-Oct-16 20:20:19

Yuck! I would hate to live with a slob.

There is no way I would pick up his stuff from the floor - you're not his servant.

Euphemia Mon 17-Oct-16 20:23:55

Leave the dirty dishes. I assume you usually deal with them? Leave them until there are none left.

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 20:29:50

We have a dishwasher, so they go in there. He sometimes puts them in, but also often takes them into the kitchen and leaves them on the counter above the dishwasher confused

Penfold007 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:30:18

Congratulations you have an incompetent husband.

Jemimapyjamas Mon 17-Oct-16 20:36:56


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