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on-line dating

(12 Posts)
ClaudiaApfelstrudel Mon 17-Oct-16 08:49:38

I was wondering what mums netters feel about on-line dating. I've had a DF telling me about it on and off now for several months and the stories I hear her tell creep me out to the max to be honest. Exchanging sexually explicit messages with somebody you know nothing about and haven't even met who says he's one thing but at the end of the day who knows who he is and then actually meeting this person for real. It gives me shivers just thinking about it.

I even signed up for the site myself just to be sure I wasn't being unreasonable and perhaps it wasn't what I imagined but I find those places extremely seedy and the idea of ever meeting up with some random man from 'on-line' actually fills me with dread.

Am I being unreasonable I know some people like to use these things and don't have a problem with it but I don't think I could ever use them and find them extremely seedy

Nothavingfunrightnow Mon 17-Oct-16 08:56:37

if you don't like the idea, don't do it. Simple as that.

YABU for making such a ridiculous fuss about something that you need not be involved in at all.

I don't like the idea of hot air ballooning. AIBU? Bit daft to ask, innit???

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Mon 17-Oct-16 08:57:17

I don't think many people 'like' to use them (well, not unless you're part of the Tinder generation!) but for many it's a needs must situation. When you don't have many other avenues to meet people it can be a great way to get out and meet people.

Obviously there are safety points to bear in mind when you are meeting a stranger but that's the same however you meet. You wouldn't necessarily invite someone you'd just met at an evening class back for a shag either.

Many people on MN met their partner online (myself included) and had a perfectly nice experience of it. I met 4 or 5 very nice men, just not for me, had exactly zero dick pics sent to me <disappointed> and met someone very lovely who I've been with for 5 years now. And that was on one of the sites well known for being full of chancers!

I just did some good sifting to get rid of the chaff, set muscle some clear boundaries and was proactive in talking to people rather than waiting for them to contact me so that I was in control of who I spoke to.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Mon 17-Oct-16 08:58:15

Muscle = myself

Or it's a Freudian slip!

c3pu Mon 17-Oct-16 09:46:12

I don't like using an iron, but it's a very useful tool if you want crease-free clothes.

I don't like using OLD, but it's a very useful tool for meeting new people.

Secretmetalfan Mon 17-Oct-16 09:56:25

I met my DH on one of the original ones we have a DS together and are very happy. Yes you have to weed through the tossers and weirdos but you have to in real life too

harderandharder2breathe Mon 17-Oct-16 10:31:38

It works for lots of people, it doesn't appeal to you but horses for courses

I'm currently dating someone I met online. After my parents divorced they both met partners online who they have been happy with for years. Even my grandfather did after my grandmother passed away,ended up moving to a different town and was very happy

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 17-Oct-16 11:17:46

There's no need to send sexually explicit messages unless you want to! Good lord.

ClaudiaApfelstrudel Mon 17-Oct-16 11:29:15

It is reassuring to hear some of the replies here, I'm glad it has worked out for some of us. I suppose I just feel freaked out because for me it's something that I've always asscociated with being seedy. Perhaps times have moved on IDK, I try to smile and be polite when DF brings it up but inside I'm shuddering

Bishybishybarnabee Mon 17-Oct-16 12:39:08

I met DP online 5years ago, no sexually explicit messages or anything seedy at all, different people use it in different ways.

TippiNoodlegruder Mon 17-Oct-16 12:51:59


I'm sure your friend would be thrilled to know that you're "shuddering inside" at her "seedy" activity. Christ are you always this dramatic?

I don't see how it's any different to meeting a man in a bar. You dont know him, anything he says could be untrue. Once you've exchanged numbers he's just as able to send sexy messages or pictures. He could seem lovely but then turn out to be an arsehole, or married, or somehow else "not what he seems". Literally no different. Just as "risky" as well. Makes no odds whether you meet someone online, or in a supermarket, at the library or whatever, you don't know them.

Peanutandphoenix Mon 17-Oct-16 13:01:54

I do online dating granted I have met some absolute gobshites who I wouldn't piss on if they where on fire because that's a waste of piss but I keep trying it because it's a great way for me to meet people because I don't go out much and I don't do Friday/Saturday nights out because I don't drink. I am doing online dating ATM and I am chatting to some nice people or so they seem never know until you meet them they can be whoever the feel like online but I know how to be careful and keep myself safe. Online dating isn't for everyone and I say each to their own my mum thinks I should do it all the old fashioned way I disagree. My sister tried online dating and she met a lovely man they have been together over a year and they are now living together. It works for some people for others it doesn't. You just have to weed out the knob heads and the sex pests.

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