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AIBU to miss DS hospital appointment?

(26 Posts)
Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 15:50:15

DS has 4 appointments over 2 days at GOSH every month, nothing life threatening if he misses a month as it's progress appointments for an ongoing condition, but he is meant to have them monthly. We're looking at at least a 12-18 more months of appointments.

We have to go up and stay the two nights and my eldest DD comes too as she is home educated. I usually fit in museum visits around appointments to supplement both educations. We're about 2 hours away ( start of journey to finish if there's not much faffing)

I had an early miscarriage this week and am just feeling so drained and burnt out by it all. I really don't feel up to the trip tomorrow, carrying all the necessary bags ( the kids have a rucksack each too) and herding them both through the station. Then the back and forth to the appointments and trying to keep them happy.

Would I be U to miss this one, regain some energy and enthusiasm and then start again next month?

arethereanyleftatall Sun 16-Oct-16 15:52:03

Phone them and ask?

Sirzy Sun 16-Oct-16 15:53:43

Can your partner not do the trip?

mintthins Sun 16-Oct-16 15:53:48

You need to talk to someone rather than just not turn up.

Sorry you are going through this, and hope you feel stronger soon.

mycatstares Sun 16-Oct-16 15:54:15

Yanbu as long as you ring up and say you can't make it due to unforeseen events.

Hope your feeling better soon.

storminabuttercup Sun 16-Oct-16 15:54:28

Of course you wouldn't. Could your DP take them? I wouldn't just not go though I would phone them.
Sorry for your loss flowers

Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 15:55:30

I would of course phone them to let them know we're not attending this month.

There's no one else who could (or would) do the trip.

EveOnline2016 Sun 16-Oct-16 15:55:37

Could your partner ( if you have one) or someone else take your son to the appointment.

I'm sorry for your loss, take your time and hope you get the much needed rest

potentialqualms Sun 16-Oct-16 15:55:37

I don't think you should go. I do think DS probably should unless there's really no-one else. Where's his father?

Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 16:04:04

I'm not with his dad. His father has nothing to do with his medical or educational appointments through choice. ( DS has Down syndrome so has a few appointments throughout the year). It doesn't interest him and he has made a point of not relaying information any time ( when DS was younger) he did take him. Also because of the duration of time away he'd never do it as it would mean taking time off work, which he wouldn't do bar life or death and I'm not certain even then.

My partner also works and wouldn't be confident enough to handle DS solo in that situation. DS can be rather more hands on in a hospital!

pizzapop Sun 16-Oct-16 16:08:42

Just ring and rearrange, they'll understand.

daisypond Sun 16-Oct-16 16:09:27

Phone them first thing and cancel. Or maybe you can cancel now by leaving a message on their voicemail service. You should be able to reschedule. One of my DC has regular appointments for an ongoing condition at a children's hospital - not GOSH - and it's straightforward to reschedule if you really can't make it. If you're available to take up anyone else's cancellation you might not have to wait too long either for a new appointment. I was once contacted by the hospital saying they had a cancellation and could we make it the next day, which we were able to.

Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 16:12:06

All our appointments are booked in until April, so the next one isn't far away. Just feel like I'm letting everyone down. I'm not coping very well atm.

Lynnm63 Sun 16-Oct-16 16:20:47

Contact them I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like it's an appointment for a life threatening illness. Don't be too hard on yourself I'm sure they'll be grateful you bothered to let them know.

pizzapop Sun 16-Oct-16 16:25:18

Honestly I worked at gosh and you wouldn't believe the amount of people who just don't bother turning up! It's a non urgent appointment and they'll be fine to rearrange.

Penfold007 Sun 16-Oct-16 16:26:16

Your allowed not to cope very well at the moment. You had a horrible experience and must be physically as well as mentally drained. Just give GOSH a ring and cancel the appointments. I'm sorry for your loss. L

MrsDeVere Sun 16-Oct-16 16:31:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morporkia Sun 16-Oct-16 16:32:13


Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 16:43:33

Thank you all so much, I think I just really needed to hear that it's ok for me to wobble from someone. smile

GrumpyOldBag Sun 16-Oct-16 16:51:30

flowers I have been through the same as you OP, this is one time where you can put yourself first without feeling guilty.

Give the hospital a ring & I'm sure they'll be fine about it.

EveOnline2016 Sun 16-Oct-16 17:00:39

Seeing as you haven't got anyone else to take him you have no choice but to put yourself first.

1 appointment will not make a huge difference.

Depending what the appointment envolves could your GP do some of the test if it's weight/height and do a diary just to fill in the gaps.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 16-Oct-16 17:06:25

Of course yanbu as you said you'd phone and tell them. Your child's condition isn't urgently requiring attention and you're having a hard time yourself, put yourself first flowers

Yawninghippo Sun 16-Oct-16 17:19:54

Eve Unfortunately it all has to be done at GOSH as it's the closest one that has the specialist machine to track DS progress, it's quite a rare secondary condition he has so it's only treated in London and Manchester.

ToffeeForEveryone Sun 16-Oct-16 17:30:26

You are not letting anyone down. Missing one appointment is fine, it's important to take care of yourself right now.


EweAreHere Sun 16-Oct-16 17:47:33

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

Please reschedule/cancel and take care of yourself. I'm sure they'll understand.

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