Fiance and I have a large group of extended friends from university who we see about twice a year. Within this group there are a number of people who are good friends who we see more regularly.
On the outside of this group is one man, I'll call him Jim. Jim is not really a close friend to us, but some of our close friends see Jim much more often than we do, and so we are always vaguely aware of how Jim is doing.
Jim has had a rough life lately. His marriage broke down when he found out about his wife's affair, he lost his job, turned to booze and became homeless. In the last 18 months Jim seemed to have been doing better, sorted himself out, got sober and had got himself a girlfriend. I've met the girlfriend twice in the past year and a half and from my perspective things seemed to be looking up for him. See seemed immature, but nice enough and I was happy for them.
One of our good friends is now reporting that Jim has become horribly abusive to his girlfriend. I'm talking violence, sexual assault and calling the police on her when she defends herself. Throughout all of this, girlfriend has remained in a relationship with Jim. Whether it is a choice or that she feels she cannot leave, I do not know.
The large group has now cut Jim off completely. They tackled Jim about his actions, got called every name under the sun, and so have jointly decided that since their concerns have fallen on Jim's deaf ears that they can no longer continue with the friendship. I support this.
However, nobody has approached the girlfriend. It is really not sitting right with me that the group has effectively abandoned her with her abuser. WIBU to take a proactive step to reach out to her, despite not knowing her well at all? What would you do?
Sorry if this is vague, purposely trying to be.
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AIBU?
...to not do anything for this woman?
33 replies
SansasEscape · 16/10/2016 13:17
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