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AIBU to put a sign on my door to keep OH friends away??!

(49 Posts)
MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 10:45:47

Hi all,
This is my first AIBU thread
I'm due our 5th baby any day, we live on the edge of town. My husband is a Very social type and loves people to pop in whenever they fancy. I do not share his feelings!
When the baby arrives I want to put a sign in the front door with something like 'please, no visitors, baby feeding/ sleeping'
I don't want to feel like I can't get confortable to feed downstairs without fear of being disturbed those first two weeks I ten to do it topless with the other boob in a jug! (prone to mastitis, excessive milk production)!

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 10:47:09

Sign on the door
Tend !!
Stupid phone ! 😁

myownprivateidaho Sun 16-Oct-16 10:49:21

Can't you just not answer? Or ask people individually? I think a sign on the door is a bit unnecessary. Unless you're worried about the doorbell waking the baby, but it doesn't sound like that.

Squirmy65ghyg Sun 16-Oct-16 10:50:57


HughLauriesStubble Sun 16-Oct-16 10:53:53

Tell your husband you dont want any callers and let him enforce it to his friends. A sign on the door will probably be met with raised eyebrows.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Sun 16-Oct-16 10:54:12

I don't like signs on the door, but I hate unexpected visitors too. I practically lived upstairs when mine were newborn, could you do that?

FiniteIncantatum Sun 16-Oct-16 10:56:49

I don't really think a sign should be necessary. Just tell your husband that you really would prefer to not have unexpected visitors and would he mind asking his mates to come at another time which suits you all.

If you're in by yourself just ignore the door.

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 11:03:23

well, i really didn't want to have to stay upstairs.. my last birth was a section and two years on as i get closer to giving birth the other children keep making comments about how they don't want me to be 'away upstairs, away from them' (last time i was very sore and was more or less confined to my bedroom).
I usually don't mind a busy house and like the children to see their father and i being sociable (as my parents weren't). It's just being heavily pregnant and then with a newborn I just don't have the energy to be standing about smiling drinking tea with whoever pops in...
My OH has such a vast amount of friends/ best buddies with all the neighbours/ lots of clubs he's part of that the children have got into the habit of opening the front door and welcoming people in.. so it would be pretty impossible to curb that and if we just ignored the door i'm worried it would look even 'ruder' as the younger children would definitely be waving through the windows at them !
I'm hoping to nap as much as possible with baby and people knocking on the door is going to drive me berserk !

ImperialBlether Sun 16-Oct-16 11:05:27

Given that situation, you'd be mad not to put a note on the door! You need some time for yourself and the other children - can't your husband see that?

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 11:09:06

I have mentioned it to him.. he didn't say no as such, he's very supportive, although i think he's a bit apprehensive it would be rude,
so i thought id ask you lovely people if my hormones were turning me into a diva, or if a note would be an acceptable thing to do for two weeks..
Having breastfed the other four i have no qualms about people turning up whilst i'm feeding, once i've got over the 'wearing adult nappies/ boob in a jug', initial phase !

FiniteIncantatum Sun 16-Oct-16 11:11:28

I don't think anyone would take offence to "really sorry mate now isn't the best time can I give you a buzz later?"

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 11:14:03

but if they've already knocked on the door they'l have woke me and baby.. i was thinking the sign would prevent the knocking

Jaxhog Sun 16-Oct-16 11:14:22

If you do get visitors, just carry on as normal. Don't get up, cover up or move up (stairs). Don't answer the door if you don't want visors, and let DH deal with any that he lets in. One round of visitors seeing you relaxed and feeding topless, and your DH will not let anyone in again. Trust me!

ohtheholidays Sun 16-Oct-16 11:15:35

No,stick the note on the door and stick the chain on the door so the children can't just open the door and explain to them before hand so they don't go and answer the door if they see someone come into the garden.

Blue2014 Sun 16-Oct-16 11:17:52

Sorry I think your husband has to man up and just tell people, he's more worried about being rude than stressing you out weeks after the birth of your child? Some people baffle me, who thinks it's appropriate to just turn up randomly on someone's door step? They're lucky they aren't my DH friends because I'd been telling them to piss off (adult nappy and both boobs on showhmm)

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 11:18:05

in the time since ive started this thread we've had three visitors :-|

Branleuse Sun 16-Oct-16 11:18:58

yeah id put a sign on the door saying no visitors, please do not knock

AnyFucker Sun 16-Oct-16 11:20:11

I would go with the note on the door and children on threat of treats removed if they open it to anybody

Your H also has to step up here and protect the new mum

MotherDuckSaid Sun 16-Oct-16 11:20:12

Jaxhog really chuckled at your advice , thanks :-)
Maybe i'll just write the sign leave it in my husband's office, let the first unexpected visitors walk in to see me in all my naked glory and leave it to him to decide whether he wants to stick the sign up :-D

notquitegrownup2 Sun 16-Oct-16 11:20:30

YANBU - you need sleep and privacy. This is your home and you can always add "Sorry to be unsociable but . . . " to the front of your note if you want.

Can't understand why you aren't getting more support on this thread. If your OHs friends are really friends, then they will understand. I have often seen threads on here suggesting that in-laws and visitors should be kept at bay for days, or weeks and then only admitted after booking to come.

Of course you should be allowed to wander around naked in your own home if you want to after giving birth, and not have to hide away from your own children whilst you bond with your new baby and recover from giving birth!!

FiniteIncantatum Sun 16-Oct-16 11:23:06

I'm sorry I just don't get it. A knock on the door wouldn't wake you up anymore that your own children running about the house imo.

Each to their own. Best of luck and enjoy your new baby when he/she comes flowers

LetitiaCropleysCookbook Sun 16-Oct-16 11:23:16

Is your husband a vicar, op? A friend whose father was a vicar describes her home life as a child in very similar terms!

StarryIllusion Sun 16-Oct-16 11:24:18

I think I would probably word it differently, a bit more lightheartedly, perhaps adding something about feeling rubbish because tbh if I saw a sign saying don't visit because baby is feeding or asleep I would be a bit hmm since that isn't really a reason but YANBU I wouldn't want visitors in that scenario either. Do be aware though that if you have a sign up asking people not to knock, the local school children are going to find you a prime target for knock down ginger.

happypoobum Sun 16-Oct-16 11:24:21

Your DH needs to be more supportive here and should be wanting to protect you and prioritise your needs rather than that of his friends.

BoredOnMatLeave Sun 16-Oct-16 11:28:27

YADNBU... I gave up breastfeeding after a week due to having constant visitors and needing to just be topless all the time. I wish I had known to just put a sign up but at the time I assumed there was something wrong with my feeding.

Next time I'm doing the old MN no visitors for 2 weeks

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