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To want to hear something nice about MILs?

(154 Posts)
GinIsIn Sun 16-Oct-16 07:48:13

This isn't a TAAT, but inspired by a spate of recent threads with depressing attitudes from other posters, whose PILS aren't welcome even for an hour on Christmas Day, or to stay overnight just once for their DGC's birthday- what nice things have your PILs done?

We have DC1 on the way, and MIL kept all of DH's children's books from when he was little, plus added all the best new ones for us so that the baby will hopefully love books as much as I do.

I am sure I'm not the only one with a nice MIL, even if she is a bit bonkers sometimes!

kelper Sun 16-Oct-16 07:50:32

Mine is lovely if a bit unreliable, I can see where her son (dh) gets his questionable time keeping skills from, lets put it that way!
But she loves ds and is letting me practise some new beauty therapy skills I've learnt on her, so she's not all bad ;)

HaPPy8 Sun 16-Oct-16 07:51:39

Mine is lovely. They live an hour away but make loads of effort with our children. I cant fault them.

thenoisytimetravelstudent Sun 16-Oct-16 07:54:47

Mine is lovely, absolutely devoted to dc and will gladly spend quality time with them when I need a break. My dc are blessed to be building special relationships with their gps smile

DollyBarton Sun 16-Oct-16 07:55:36

Mine is perfect. Will help anytime asked. Great company for a cuppa. My BIL and gf were house sitting for us while we were on hols and I know she snuck in the day we were returning to clean and tidy so I could come home to the house the way I left it. She pops in to take the kids for a few hrs on a Sunday sometimes and give us a break. She was telling me last week she wanted to babysit once a month (I avoid asking her because she helps my two SILs a lot recently and I know she's tired) so DH and I could get dinner out and some time alone. She never ever criticises or has an agenda.

Daisydukes79 Sun 16-Oct-16 07:56:29

Mine is lovely, respects our wishes, and has made me feel part of her family from day 1.

Bruce02 Sun 16-Oct-16 07:56:53

My mil is completely bonkers. Really bonkers. Pil don't provide any childcare and live 3 hours away. She isn't particularly involved in the kids and only sees them if we go there.

However as a person I really like her, I am quite happy with the status quo. Fil visits and is at more into the kids, I love him too.

Dh adores my parents. My dad is probably his best friend and he really loves my mum. Or are more involved with the kids.

Both me and dh are happy with our pil. But I know lots of people wouldn't like my mil or my mum as a mil. For me it's about managing expectations and giving people some room to be a bit crap, do the wrong think on occasion etc.

2 people are involved in a relationship. I think it's rare (though it does happen) that only the mil is to blame for a bad relationship with their children's partners.

Remember on threads here you only hear one point of view.

lastqueenofscotland Sun 16-Oct-16 07:57:16

Mine is lovely. Just a really really nice family in general on that side.

DoubleCarrick Sun 16-Oct-16 07:57:36

My mil is lovely. Went for dinner with her Friday, just the two of us. She's loving, kind hearted and caring.

I'm pregnant and she gave us our first gift for the baby this weekend - a small peter rabbit book set. She picked it because she knows that I have a larger set that I was given when I was a baby. I can see where dh gets his thoughtfulness from

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Sun 16-Oct-16 07:58:00

Mine is lovely too, generous and great company.

StubbleTurnips Sun 16-Oct-16 07:58:18

Mine are fab - they don't pass comment or judgement on our lives even when we know they are desperate too, they adore DD and they always have the kettle on. We are very different people but we middle along and generally can have a good laugh at DH

SmallBee Sun 16-Oct-16 07:59:25

Mine is amazing, I love her so much.

She made me a bridesmaid at her wedding.
She looked after my DD one day a week for free when I went back to work.
She told me she was proud of how good I am at parenting and that she loves me.
She always makes time for us, and everyone else.
She brought us loads of food when DD was born and again with DS.
She has the kids overnight.
I could go on forever about how lucky I am to have her as a MIL. Yes she does things that can be annoying but no more than anyone else and I'm sure I'm just as annoying myself!

Graceflorrick Sun 16-Oct-16 07:59:37

Mine is genuinely one of the nicest people I have ever met. After 20 years I have nothing unkind to say about her. She's wonderful.

Stormwhale Sun 16-Oct-16 08:00:04

I didn't have a great start with my mil. We just didn't get on. Over the last 8 years we have got to know and understand each other though and now we are very close. I can talk to her about anything, and she is a wonderful nanny to our dd. It has taken a lot of work on both sides to get to where we are now, but I think once she realised how much I love her son, and also once she saw me become good mother to her grandchild, something clicked for her.

Now we chat away about everything, I support her in her health problems, we text or talk most days, I enjoy her company. We even went on holiday all together and it was wonderful. I never would have thought we could get to this point, but I am so so happy we have.

SnugglySnerd Sun 16-Oct-16 08:00:14

Mine is absolutely lovely. She lives about 150 miles away but will willingly travel down to babysit. She'll also take DD to the park for a couple of hours and buy her an ice cream while we have a rest or do DIY things.
Yesterday she came to see us and bought some lovely clothes for DD. She's fab!

Mol1628 Sun 16-Oct-16 08:00:26

My parents and in laws are great. It's just people don't come and post or talk about it as much if they don't have problems.

ThursdayLastWeek Sun 16-Oct-16 08:00:35

My MIL isn't really into babies and small children so she mostly keeps out of our hair. She live v locally so can pop in for 15 mins here and there which suits us all it seems.

She makes excellent jam. And the birthday cakes for birthdays. Perfect.

user1471495191 Sun 16-Oct-16 08:00:52

Both sets of GPs help out with childcare and DC love them. MIL has noted the type of clothes I dress DC in and buys a few key pieces every few months/season - exactly what I would buy. She buys beautiful, thoughtful presents for my Christmas and birthday. And has been known to hunt specific gifts down at short notice after hearing me saying in passing that I like or need something.

Eyre89 Sun 16-Oct-16 08:01:17

I have two Mils.

My ds has such a lovely relationship with both of them, so do I. They spend time with him playing, support me and my dp and help whenever it's needed (I don't ask they both just seem to know if it's needed and it can be a kind word and a cup of tea)

One of them paid my dp wages when I'd gone into premature labour so he could have a week off and not worry about the loss of income and made sure everything was ready for us coming home. I would never have asked or expected this and it was just the most amazing thing to be able to not worry about money when ds was in nicu and have dp at the hospital. And the other drove 7 hours to get to us when we went home to come meet ds and see us.

They're just lovely and have made me feel like part of the family 1. The Mil that lives closest I'd class her as a mum and a very close friend. I know if I needed her day or night she'd be there.

And if she has ever disagreed with any of my decisions regarding ds she has never said. She always said it's not her place and she would never want to upset me. When other family members have made me doubt myself she's always helped me to stop it and tells me I'm a good mum. Sometimes you need someone to tell you that as it's so much easier to believe a negative.

I'm very lucky.

KayTee87 Sun 16-Oct-16 08:01:55

My MIL is always picking up small gifts for me - bath bombs etc. Something nearly every time I see her which is around weekly. If my husband was ever to be an arse I know she'd be on my side. She cried when she came to visit us in hospital after our baby was born.
She's not perfect and neither is my mum but I was just saying to my husband the other day that even though they can both be annoying at least they love us and aren't bad to us.

Somersetlady Sun 16-Oct-16 08:02:23

My MIl and fil adore put children and as I was lucky enough to have a great relationship woth my grandparents i want the same for my boys as it is so special.

She ignores every rule we have lets them get away with anything eat junk and watch tv.

I just let that go over my head (its hard) as its only once a week and they are very good to step in if we ever needed them.

I dont like her as a person and she can be tricky but as a grandmother she is adoring!

eternalopt Sun 16-Oct-16 08:02:58

Mine are fab. My MIL is much less judgmental than my own mum grin. Supportive, kind and generous. I couldn't ask for better, which is good as, having seen others have horrible relationships with their PIL, I think it's a real shame, and I'd decided before getting married that it's not fair on any DH not to make an effort wherever reasonable to do so. They've made it very easy to make good on that promise!

FreshHorizons Sun 16-Oct-16 08:03:22

Mine is lovely, sadly she has dementia now but has been wonderfully supportive over the years.
I think that most are- you get a skewed view on here because people are more likely to mention her if they have a poor relationship.

Trulymadlymotherly Sun 16-Oct-16 08:04:47

My MIL despite having childcare responsibilities approaching PR for 2 of her grandchildren will move heaven and earth to babysit my 2 and allow us a night out (tbf about once every 8 weeks). Despite her very strong faith she has accepted our decision not to get our children baptised. It might sound like a no brained but I know it was genuinely hard for her.

JasperDamerel Sun 16-Oct-16 08:05:21

I had a nasty virus while staying at my MiL's house last year, and it was absolute bliss to just be able to lie in bed feeling ill, with someone else looking after the children and cooking.

And she is a lovely grandmother, and a generally nice person.

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