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To be annoyed that Nursery is forcing potty training at a prescribed age?

(62 Posts)
Waitinforaflamin Fri 14-Oct-16 22:03:37

So, my DC has just started nursery in the last 3 months. She is just over 2. Sold as a lovely nursery, nurturing, child centered. An email was sent out yesterday to all parents advising that they have changed their 'policy' and as of January any child over 2.5 who is not potty trained will be excluded.

My understanding is that forcing a child to PT prematurely can be detrimental to them developmentally. Also my child is no where near PT therefore I will have to take out weeks or more from work until my child is reliably trained before I can send them back. When asked to clarify this, they confirmed that this was the new policy as they were wasting time changing nappies and couldn't meet every child's needs?! This is a setting that takes children 3 months to 5 years and is not attached to a school.

I get the fact the parent needs and should take responsibility for the PT of their child, but surely its not unreasonable to work with a nursery in respect of this - especially if your child is full time.

AIBU to be hacked off with this attitude fuck off we cant be arsed to wipe arses attitude and the new policy?

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Oct-16 22:06:28

They can't do that, it's discrimination, you can report to Ofstead. PT is developmental, some are just not developmentally ready then, so they shoukd be excluded for something they can't control.

BusStopBetty Fri 14-Oct-16 22:06:53

That's a bollocks policy. Look for a new nursery.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 14-Oct-16 22:07:30

Yes go elsewhere, not a good nursery.

Nurszilla Fri 14-Oct-16 22:08:58

"Wasting time changing nappies"

Isn't that their job? DD didn't PT until about 2 years 9 months, then she picked it up in 3 days because she was ready. I wouldn't be sending her somewhere where they weren't supporting her development appropriately.

MsJamieFraser Fri 14-Oct-16 22:09:24

they cant! they are talking shit,

OlennasWimple Fri 14-Oct-16 22:09:40

Run like the wind!!

MrsMulder Fri 14-Oct-16 22:09:40

That is ridiculous. I trained ds at 2 and a half because so many people told me he must be ready due to his age. He is now 4 and a half and still has the odd accident, I have been dealing with accidents for 2 years because I took him out of nappies before he was ready. Dd was ready at 2 and has had about 3 accidents in total (she is now 3 yrs 2 months) I would move him from the nursery over training too early, it's really not worth the hassle

pollyblack Fri 14-Oct-16 22:10:44

That sounds nuts, it's not their call. If they can't care for the children they need to have a serious look at themselves!

I waited until both of my kids were 3yrs to toilet train and they picked it up no bother, no carrying potties around etc.

Fairybells Fri 14-Oct-16 22:11:10

What?? It's a nursery for crying out loud!!! angry surely they can't do that? I'd definitely complain and maybe look for another nursery if needed! My 3 year old is only just potty trained and still has accidents. Also still wears a nappy to preschool and they're happy to change it!

Musicaltheatremum Fri 14-Oct-16 22:12:47

My daughter was hopeless at 2 years 9 months, had wee everywhere. At 3 she did it in a morning with no accidents. Children's bladders mature at different ages and it is totally unfair to exclude your daughter because of this. (My daughter is 23 now and totally housetrained)

Waitinforaflamin Fri 14-Oct-16 22:12:59

Thanks for confirming I am not being precious! They also put in this email that as of Monday (ie three days after the email) any child over 1 cant have a dummy. So three days to wean a kid off the dummy which I though was totally harsh and out of order. A 13 month old is still a baby sad

mouseymummy Fri 14-Oct-16 22:14:19

My dd is 4 and has only been potty trained around 5 months as she has developmental delays. My ds is just about to turn 3 and he still isn't trained as he's just not ready. Nursery aren't bothered, they've questioned me on if I will train him soon but not in a dodgy way, more of a supportive, let us know so we can help way

Littlefish Fri 14-Oct-16 22:15:55

It is not legal to have a blanket policy like this. It contravenes what used to be called the DDA.

Contact your Local Authority inclusion team, and the 2 and 3 year old funding teams.

I work in a school nursery which takes children from the term after they are 2. We have children who don't toilet train until the term before they start school. We work with parents to toilet train children when the time is right for the child.

JellyBelli Fri 14-Oct-16 22:17:03

I really dont see how changing a nappy takes any less time than helping a toddler use the toilet and wipe.
That all sounds awful.

JellyBelli Fri 14-Oct-16 22:17:59

^ more time. I mean, it takes the same amount of time whatever method, surely? So why are they making a fuss? blush

Matilda1981 Fri 14-Oct-16 22:19:51

I can fully understand their reasoning, my local Pre school have stopped taking children under 2.5 - their stafffing limits means that if they have several children in nappies one member of staff is on a continuous cycle of nappy changing and they then can't help out with any other children so they're effectively a member of staff down.

A nursery can make their own rules; if you don't like it go somewhere else!!

LucyBabs Fri 14-Oct-16 22:22:01

"Waitin* Get your dc out of that place. What's their problem with a dummy? It isn't their call whether your dc uses a dummy or when they give it up!

My dc had to be TT when starting preschool, they were 3 by then though..

LucyBabs Fri 14-Oct-16 22:22:58

But Matilda this is a nursery not a preschool

LittleMoonbuggy Fri 14-Oct-16 22:25:29

That's awful. The dummy part too.

I could understand a preschool, but not a daycare nursery!

Eyedrophell Fri 14-Oct-16 22:26:41

They cannot do this. They are not allowed. Sounds like a horrendous Nursery. Run away. And report to Ofsted. And I say that as a nursery manager

BusStopBetty Fri 14-Oct-16 22:27:01

The nurseries I've used have asked parents if children can refrain from using dummies other than at nap time as it can be difficult to fully participate in activities, and talk properly, with a dummy in 24/7. I don't think that's necessarily a terrible idea, although may not be possible for all children.

I've known a couple of children referred for speech therapy because of dummy use - a dummy doesn't prevent talking, but it's difficult to learn to pronounce some sounds correctly if you're constantly holding a dummy in your mouth.

Littlefish Fri 14-Oct-16 22:27:05

Matilda - they are not allowed to make their own rules on a matter like this. It is discriminatory and illegal.

Fairybells Fri 14-Oct-16 22:28:10

But Matilda, they would still spend time taking the kids to the toilet? And kids that age are bound to still have accidents so then they'll be also changing their clothes. It is absolutely unreasonable to expect 2.5 year olds to be potty trained. Some might be but others not and this is a nursery. I would imagine the clue is in the name...?

Waitinforaflamin Fri 14-Oct-16 22:28:39

Matilda1981 - out of interest do the 2.5 year old's need to be potty trained? And if they are not or they have significant accidents what happens to the child, as I know a few people who have PT already but their child still has at least one accident a day? (I am beginning to see that one persons definition of PT is different to others)

JellyBelli - I too cant see the saving in time tbh as rather than scheduled nappy changes you would need to have someone who would be available at the drop of a hat to take them off to the loo anyway?

I am pulling her - just very disappointed especially as I spoke to one of the owners about PT less than a month ago and she agreed that it was best to wait until they were ready.

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