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To ask those of you who emigrated ...

(47 Posts)
Mrsblackcat Fri 14-Oct-16 18:37:17

If you miss the UK? Do you feel lonely / isolated? What do you do? How are your children educated?

And that's a flurry of questions, I know. I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed.

HPandBaconSandwiches Fri 14-Oct-16 18:39:01

You might be better asking in the Living Overseas section OP.

Mrsblackcat Fri 14-Oct-16 18:46:59

Thanks, but we (well, DH!) doesn't know where he wants to go!

Kuriusoranj Fri 14-Oct-16 18:58:32

Not since Brexit vote, but I miss my friends and family. I have my husband and children and we've always been a self-contained unit so no, I don't feel isolated/lonely. I've made some good friends in our country of residence and I stay in touch with my friends in the UK.

Specific questions won't make sense until you know where you're going, but one thing I would say is this: forgive me for stating the bleeding obvious but wherever you go, you'll still be you, your husband will still be him etc. I still have to decide what we're having for tea, make sure everyone has done their homework and has clean uniform, choose what to do for Christmas, pay the phone bill, get the dog wormed, check the tyre pressure, clean the cooker and on and on and on. Life's the same as it's always been, it just happens now in a new and therefore more interesting (and at times infinitely more difficult) place. I'd recommend emigration to anyone, but don't expect it to be something it's not.

What are your options for country? What are your motivations for moving?

Mrsblackcat Fri 14-Oct-16 19:11:32

It's DH really. I think he just doesn't like the UK much hmm or at any rate, more accurately maybe, he feels we could have a better standard of living elsewhere.

stuckinny Fri 14-Oct-16 20:03:49

I've been living OS for almost 15 years and still miss family and friends. More so since having DS.
DS and I were going to move back a few years ago but I had things I still needed to sort out here (divorce etc).
We haven't ruled out moving back but we're fairly settled at the moment. I'm sure we will move at some point - probably in time for DS to go to uni as going here will undoubtedly break the bank.

Cocklodger Fri 14-Oct-16 20:06:46

What job do you do? We're moving to Australia where our standard of living will be higher but that's not guaranteed its based on each profession and what you want out of it really. Different places will be better for different people.

allegretto Fri 14-Oct-16 20:07:19

I don't feel isolated but there are a lot of things I miss - UK education is one.

Liara Fri 14-Oct-16 20:13:17

We do miss the UK quite a lot - but our standard of living is infinitely higher here than it would be back home. Whenever we go back we tell ourselves that we are lucky to live abroad. I'd love to be able to spend more time in the UK, and hopefully will be able to do that in the future.

We do feel a little bit lonely/isolated, but only recently because the political situation here has become very uncomfortable. Otherwise we do have some good friends here, and we are a very self contained family unit, so that would not be an issue.

Our children are home educated, as we didn't like the available options here. We do have a nice home ed community, which helps a lot.

DixieWishbone Fri 14-Oct-16 20:23:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isthistoonosy Fri 14-Oct-16 20:25:38

I live in Sweden, my partner is a local. Yes I'm isolated but I like that on the whole. I've been a construction consultant but on Monday I'm becoming a school helper ish person . Kids go to a local nusery.

Side points - all kids with a diff first languge get special help in school and are tauught a seperate course in their mother tongue so they get a better qualification than other kids learn in it as a second language.
The sick pay , pension, etc is great once you have a job.
The main jobs available are IT, nursing and teaching, but the latter two need some Swedich (you can get free education in Swedish but no benifits when you arrive)

Strokethefurrywall Fri 14-Oct-16 20:27:20

I've been overseas for almost a decade - I miss my close friends and my big family but facetime and skype certainly helps.
I miss the ease and access of most things in the UK, gigs and events. I miss the hustle and bustle of London. But I'm an hour's flight south of Miami and only 3 1/2 hours from NYC which satisfies my desire to wander the streets of a big city anonymously and shop.

I certainly don't feel isolated here, in fact I'm certain we had more support when I had each of our DS's than I would have done back home, mainly because how closer geographically everyone is. My good friend had her 2nd baby girl at 2am this morning. I'll go and visit her at the hospital this afternoon which is less than a mile away.

Our close friends are our family and we have a wonderful community. It can be a bit of a goldfish bowl if you're a single young person but infinitely supportive for a family. I think the fact that there are many many expats, means we can all relate to each other. We also know that few of us have parents here so we become each others' families.

I met my husband here, got married here, had our babies here. The ease of bringing kids up whilst working full time is something we don't take for granted. We both work full time, yet can collect the kids at 5pm and be home 10 minutes later.

Yes, given it is a small island you do tend to get "island fever" if you don't get off the rock for a while, but the kids are at the age (5 and 2 1/2) that they thrive on doing anything outside with their friends, playing in the pool or on the beach or taking them out on .

DS1 has just started kindergarten at one of the private schools with about 22 of his friends from preschool. He loves it, loves knowing his partners in crime are with him and both he and DS2 (in preschool) are less than 5 minute drive away from both our offices.

Our life here is unbelievably easy. The only hard thing is the distance from family. I wouldn't want to go back to the UK and I can't see anything that would convince us.

ToxicLadybird Fri 14-Oct-16 20:37:24

I also live in Sweden but I don't feel isolated. I did for the first year but then we moved and the people are much friendlier here. I missed the UK for that first year but not so much for subsequent ones. I'm sorry to say that post Brexit I couldn't give a hoot if I never stepped foot in Britain again. It's not my country anymore.

redexpat Fri 14-Oct-16 21:19:33

I'm in Denmark. I felt v lonely and isolated for about 5 years. It got better when I had DS, started a course, and then even better when I had DD. I ended up in a great mother group.

I think the work life balance is better here, and childcare is v cheap and reliable. It is quite dull though, you really have to search for events if you want to ever experience anything. People are superficially friendly, but unless they have an opening in their social circle, you don't make friends. I like that the schooling isnt as pressured as it is in the UK, but it annoys me that it isn't pushy enough. I would really like a system halfway between the two! I really like that you dont have the whole children are seen and not heard.

I'm really looking forward to graduating and getting a job.

And I miss the variety of goods you can buy in the shops in the UK. And primarni. And half decent clothes in the supermarket. And decent quality at ok prices.

Both places are now foreign, and both home.

KC225 Fri 14-Oct-16 21:29:32

I live in Sweden, my DH is Swedish. We left London in 2014. I am lonely and isolated and still cannot speak the language. I have no job and my efforts to volunteer have been politely declined. We are renovating a lottery win type house due to low low property prices so that keeps me busy. Kids are enjoying it though, they now speak fluent Swedish and are at the local primary school.

missyB1 Fri 14-Oct-16 21:38:04

We tried out living in New Zealand but ended up coming back to the UK. I just couldn't see myself living the rest of my life there. It was undoubtedly better there for my husband career wise (Doctor), but I was bored to tears! Beautiful place and lots of outdoor activities but not much else going on. Also I wasn't happy with the standard of education for our ds. The kiwis were polite but cliquey and it would have taken forever to make friends, in fact all the Brits tended to stick together. I don't regret going there we had a fab time but I'm glad we came back (husband would happily have stayed in NZ though).

KimmySchmidtsSmile Fri 14-Oct-16 21:58:35

Yes I miss the UK (family, friends, food, climate, places, sense of belonging)
Yes I feel lonely and isolated ( although know many ex pats)
I do part time childminding as my PGCE is not valid (qualifications not equal)
My DC are in the state school system (Germany) standard of education good but hard to navigate, continuous assessment, stacked against you as a non native speaker (luckily I am a teacher so knew up to a point what was required but pity the poor buggers going into it blind esp if DC have SEN)
It is hard being an economic migrant/immigrant and if you have any doubts do not do it, especially if you are the "trailing spouse"/primary dc care giver.
Culture shock is a real thing (as is reverse culture shock if you return).
It is easy for short term to become long term and for you get " stuck", also if any cracks in your marriage watch out for custodial issues with DC.
Any cracks become canyons, you really have to be a team.
There are positives but do your research, the grass is not always greener.

HappenedForAReisling Fri 14-Oct-16 22:04:54

I was an expat for 11 years and didn't really miss the UK but it's where I would have gone had my marriage gone tits-up.

We made our final international move last year and I'm now no longer an expat, but a permanent resident, and have no intention of ever moving back to the UK.

The only thing I miss about the UK is the few family members I have there. Once they've gone I can't imagine I'll go back very often (I currently go back once a year).

Costacoffeeplease Fri 14-Oct-16 22:12:11

I've been away from the uk for nearly 14 years, and haven't been back for the last 12 years - I don't miss it

rhetorician Fri 14-Oct-16 22:17:08

Have been gone for over 20 years. I used to miss it, but increasingly I don't - my life is here, partner, children, good professional life. I've very few real ties to the UK and feel completely alienated from it politically, even more so post-Brexit

missyB1 Fri 14-Oct-16 22:18:43

I often wonder if age has something to do with how well you settle in another Country. We went to NZ in our late 40s, whereas most Brits we met there had gone in either their 20s or after retirement. It was like we had gone at the wrong stage of our lives.

lostoldlogin2 Sat 15-Oct-16 00:59:06

I live in Spain. I miss my family but we skype. Wild horses wouldn't drag me back to the UK I absolutely hated the place. Cold, miserable, expensive - people obsessed with owning "stuff" insular.....ugh.

I have been here 11 years - since I was 20

BradleyPooper Sat 15-Oct-16 01:26:20

I live in Texas, left the U.K. aged 21 22 years ago so I've lived longer overseas than I have in the U.K. I've moved country 10 times and lived in 6 different counties. I miss some of them but not the U.K. Sometimes I see a pretty picture of sheep in fields and I go back every year to visit family which is nice but apart from people, there's nothing I miss. I lived away from home for uni, my dm passed away and I'm not especially close to my df, although he visits every year. I have lots more friends overseas than in the U.K. (moved school a lot) and my dh has been a constant for 18 years and he's my best friend.

BummyMummy77 Sat 15-Oct-16 01:31:38

I do miss the UK a lot.

Mostly my friends and family. And scenery, food, tv and silly little things.

I moved to a small island from London so I was very depressed for a while.

Ds is only 3 but as we live in such a small place he'll be in a class with two other kids his age so combined with the year above of three kids. So even when the magnate kids from the mainland join his class at age 12 he'll have a class size of 8 max.

Which means the schools is free and has huge resources, also means that as long as he applies himself he'll get his whole university paid for by scholarships which is incredible, especially in the States.

Downside is we have no health care and I'm terrified of getting sick.

I've made lots of good friends here but missing my family so so much.

Although my Mother is quite toxic so actually just today was thinking I'm glad we aren't closer.

BummyMummy77 Sat 15-Oct-16 01:35:16

I have to say in most ways the standard of my living is far and beyond what it would be in the UK.

We have a big house on 6 acres of stunning land and three boats. We have a truck and two decent cars. We aren't considered we'll off where we live, that's just how people live here. Dh built the house himself. We're making money from sweat equity of building other houses. Something that would be hard to do in Britain.

If we lived in the UK we'd struggle to afford a one bed.

And well and good until one of us gets ill though.

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