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just yelled at a school bully outside my house. AIBU?

(115 Posts)
MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:10:42

Bully was on a bike, clearly not hers. Victim was trying to retrieve bike, all I could hear was "you're gonna ruin the handle bars". Another boy joined her pulling bike away from boy. This was right outside my house. I hate school bullies with a passion so decided to go out and "have a word". Admittedly I was a bit confrontational. I asked who the bike belonged to, what was she doing to it and then to get off it. She was pretty taken aback and made off swiftly. DH thinks bullies should be dealt with by the victim only and thinks I've put my foot in it. They were about 14. AIBU?

Shockers Fri 14-Oct-16 17:14:12

No- he got his bike back before it was ruined.

If my child was being tormented, I'd like somebody to step in. That way, when my child is older, he or she will do what's right when they see someone else being treated unfairly, instead of turning the other cheek.

SpaceUnicorn Fri 14-Oct-16 17:14:17

DH thinks bullies should be dealt with by the victim only

confused

Why on Earth does he think that? The school should never intervene, patents should never ever intervene, other children should never intervene? Really? Ludicrous.

YouTheCat Fri 14-Oct-16 17:16:09

You did the right thing.

Often the victim is not able to stand up to their bullies.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood Fri 14-Oct-16 17:17:51

You were correct to act. Victims are chosen because for one reason or another they are perceived as less powerful. Suggesting that only the victim can act therefore ensures they get screwed over, feel alone, etc.

Bullies need to see that others are watching too.

FurryLittleTwerp Fri 14-Oct-16 17:19:29

Of course you did the right thing - the whole point about bullies is that their victims can't stand up to them confused

BarbarianMum Fri 14-Oct-16 17:19:31

I would have intervened but I think I would need a lot bit more information before I started throwing terms like "bully" around.

MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:20:28

Space - yes I agree with you. DH just hates confrontation and thinks bully will come back and target our house or something ridiculous. Harmless kids I'm sure but the girl needed telling in my opinion. I don't think DH was ever bullied at school. I was, by little witches like that too.

Fluffyears Fri 14-Oct-16 17:20:58

Well done. I think it's good that you did this and showed bullies that their actions are not to be tolerated.

MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:21:47

Hells - yes. She had no idea I was watching the whole thing from my living room window.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 14-Oct-16 17:22:01

YANBU, well done.

Ohb0llocks Fri 14-Oct-16 17:22:47

Yanbu, I'd have done the same. Well son, OP.

MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:23:16

Barbarian. She was teasing and making fun of a cute, tall boy with glasses. She encouraged others to join in her fun of taking the bike. In my opinion she was a bully.

M0nstersinthecl0set Fri 14-Oct-16 17:25:14

Why were you watching hmm. You probably didn't need to yell and approaching the (in your view) victim to establish what was going on clearly may have been sensible. You don't even know if your assumption is correct. Perhaps you took a bike off the rightful owner who, being a child, ran off in tears when faced with an irratiinal and threatening adult.

Monte - please tell your dh that my mum shared his views on who should deal with bullies, which is why I felt entirely unsupported by her when I was bullied all through senior school - as a result of which I was suicidal at age 14, and have had depression ever since (I will be 52 this year).

I applaud you for doing what you did!

bigTillyMint Fri 14-Oct-16 17:26:44

Well done OP.

If more of us were prepared to stop that kind of behaviour, then maybe more DC would get the message that it's not acceptable

MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:27:39

The boy stated it was his when I asked. He was clearly distressed. She claimed to me he'd let her ride it.

Excited101 Fri 14-Oct-16 17:28:53

Of course you did the right thing, bolshy 14 year olds would have said if you'd have got the wrong end of the stick. If the other child was worrying about the handlebars then it sounds like a very clear case of the judgement of Solomon.

MontePulciana Fri 14-Oct-16 17:29:44

SDT - I'm so sorry to hear that. That must have been horrific for you.

mycatstares Fri 14-Oct-16 17:30:31

Well done you! Yanbu at all.

I have a mental image of you watching out of the window with a mask and cape on, then when everything kicked off more you leap into action to put the bully in their place with your cape blowing in the wind.grin

Thanks. thanks

Berthatydfil Fri 14-Oct-16 17:31:25

Good for you. flowers

mouldycheesefan Fri 14-Oct-16 17:31:27

I would also have taken a picture of her and emailed it to the school.

blitheringbuzzards1234 Fri 14-Oct-16 17:34:21

You were right to take action. Bullies get away with it as they know precisely that the victim is too timid to take them on. Good on you.

M0nstersinthecl0set Fri 14-Oct-16 17:34:26

So shrieking at children is ok on mn now? Who knew.

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