I have a business as a venue stylist and this mainly involves weddings. My sister recently got married at a venue I do fairly regularly, so of course, she asked and, I expected to dress her wedding venue for her (I would have hated any other venue stylist to have done it - it would never have been right as I am a perfectionist at that venue).
She wasn't the easiest of 'clients' albeit it being a small wedding - only 40 guests during the day. If she had been a paying client, the bill rose to over £600. I would normally never have given her a wedding present of £600 and to be fair they didn't expect it to be a wedding present. So it was easy for me to heavily discount the 'bill' and they paid me £350. I had nearly £100 of out of pocket costs, so the 'wedding present' was between £250 and £300.
On the day, I was there dressing the venue at 9.30, got home about 12.30 and she got married at 2.00 - so the day was tight for me to get ready and go back as a guest.
This is where the AIBU comes in - during the speeches my new BIL thanked a friend for coming some distance -100 miles or so (and also only gave a gift of a bag of flower bulbs!) and some relatives who we see fairly regularly having come about 30 miles - so no hassle to them! I, however, didn't get a single mention or thank you.
I didn't say anything on the day because I didn't want to upset anyone, despite being upset myself. I did get a verbal thank you from my sister on the day.
Since they have come back from honeymoon, I have said to my sister that it would have nice to have had a thank you. She said she did, referring to the verbal thank you. I clarified this by saying "it would have been nice to have been mentioned in the actual speech", to which she said that if I had been thanked, then BIL would have had to thank everyone individually for coming. I said I didn't expect to be individually thanked for turning up as a guest, but for all the extra work I had done and been involved in to make the wedding day a success. I told her I was very hurt and disappointed. Then the penny dropped and she apologised, but the hurt had already been done.
It would have helped my business to have had a thank you and recommendation; there has been nothing from either of them on my business Facebook page despite me posting pictures and reference to being a guest at a recent wedding, so no LIKES, no comment, no sharing. I have not had any written thank you for either the 'cash' gift or doing the work - four weeks after the wedding now.
I don't really expect anything now, as to them the whole incident has been forgotten and time has moved on. However, am I being unreasonable to still be feeling hurt and disappointed? It was a huge thing for me to confront my sister about my feelings as I never like conflict and don't like asking for things. Is there anything I can do now or just forget it, despite the feelings of resentment?
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AIBU?
To expect a 'thank you' or some recognition..
105 replies
roseroyce · 14/10/2016 15:48
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