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AIBU to think Ikea was created by the Devil to test relationships?

(151 Posts)
BowieFan Fri 14-Oct-16 13:57:22

Me and DP both had a rare day off together today. We decided (foolishly) that we would finally and go and pick out a new bed for our bedroom which we've just finished redecorating.

4 hours and some meatballs later and we finally left Ikea with the bed (not the one we wanted but I refused to leave empty handed).

DP has just finished putting it together. There's 4 screws left over, a bolt of some kind and several plastic things. I am terrified to sit on the bed in case it collapses under the slightest weight.

AIBU to think Ikea is actually hell and was created to see how strong a relationship is? It isn't even DP's fault and I wanted to murder him before we left.

wasonthelist Fri 14-Oct-16 13:59:02

YANBU I will never go to IKEA with anyone else ever. It's almost bearable alone.

PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 14-Oct-16 13:59:13

I'm amazed the rot only set in when you got home. I don't think we have ever managed to make it round the store before someone starts mentioning divorce grin

mintthins Fri 14-Oct-16 14:02:01

It is the queue for the tills that usually does for us. Well done for getting home!

annandale Fri 14-Oct-16 14:02:34

I knew I'd married the right man when we managed to go the whole way round IKEA, twice, and order a whole new kitchen, without a single row.

TBH I think the divorce rate would plummet if it was a required test before getting married... but then so would the marriage rate...

Flumpnugget Fri 14-Oct-16 14:09:10

I honestly thought that Ikea-based arguments were a unique experience between my OH and myself. Until I started talking about it and other couples shared the experience- then I've seen memes and articles in it etc and it really does make me laugh and wonder what it does to a couple!

I think we have a good balance though- we go and eat first (enjoyment, happiness, delight at the cheap pricing...) then shop (fallout, smirk at each other's decisions, argue about when to get the main thing we decided to trek to the store for...argue at the checkout for all the stuff we've bought and how much it's cost) then get home and work like ninjas on an assembly line- I get all the bits out, organise and read instructions- he gets the satisfaction of building with power tools ( if he can incorporate them somewhere) and I usually hide any leftover bits...

BowieFan Fri 14-Oct-16 14:12:06


I think it's only because after 20 years, DP has finally realised I hate Ikea. Last year, we went and I genuinely didn't speak to him for about three days afterwards. We went in for a lamp. A single lamp. We ended up leaving with a lamp, a chair, salt and pepper shakers, a dinner service, cutlery, a new duvet set and a desk.

I think the only reason they have cafes is so you can't use the "come on, let's get out of here so we can get something to eat" excuse that you use in other shops.

Ikea are evil geniuses. They've also somehow made it that you never get two Ikea lovers in a relationship together. One person always loves Ikea and one always hates it. I think two Ikea lovers in a relationship together would make the universe implode.

BowieFan Fri 14-Oct-16 14:14:29

Oh and by the way, DP refuses to use the instructions. Yes, he's one of those men.

"I've repaired helicopters in Afghanistan!" he says.

I can't help but feel repairing a helicopter in Afghanistan would be preferable to trying to put together an Ikea bookcase with the allen keys they give you.

BarbaraofSeville Fri 14-Oct-16 14:17:59

This thread has made me realise that the answer to the 'what's one of the little, unique things you love about your DP' question is that he seems to really enjoy assembling Ikea furniture. He doesn't seem to mind going the shop either as long as it's at a quiet time like in the evening or first thing on Saturday morning (it's only 2 miles away so not a great trek).

TheWernethWife Fri 14-Oct-16 14:18:25

Why the IKEA hate, its just a large store. If you take note of the shortcuts between departments you can be in and out. I love IKEA, live 10 mins drive away from one.

TheWernethWife Fri 14-Oct-16 14:21:46

You can check stock availability online to save a wasted journey - I always do that if going for large items.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 14-Oct-16 14:22:13

YANBU. We hate each other in Ikea. I don't even like meatballs. Our marriage is held together by unwrapping mini Daims for each other in lieu of apologies in the car on the way home.

BarbaraofSeville Fri 14-Oct-16 14:22:51

Bowie The first thing DP always seems to do when preparing an Ikea assembly marathon is to use the provided Allen key to select the right size bit for his cordless screwdriver and then ignore the Ikea Allen key while he then gets on with assembly using the appropriate sized cordless screwdriver/drill thing (he has at least 3 from a tiny little one, which is the only one I am allowed to use up to a great fuck off hammery type one) and I think he just enjoys getting them all out to play with, like an adult version of a toy tool set

thetemptationofchocolate Fri 14-Oct-16 14:23:22

I have never been to IKEA, the nearest store is 2 and a half hours away on a good day. Reading this thread makes me feel grateful it's far enough away not to be a tempting prospect smile

wasonthelist Fri 14-Oct-16 14:25:12

Don't mind the furniture assembly - and you don't have to use the supplied tools I have quite a few options for that. The in store experience is horrific though.

christinarossetti Fri 14-Oct-16 14:25:20

The last time I went to Ikea, it was full of pregnant couples hissing at each other.

It's like a casino - no clocks, no day light, lots of cheap eats and drinks, people losing their life savings and sanity.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 14-Oct-16 14:27:18

Yes, it is like a casino! Good analogy grin

Lazyafternoon Fri 14-Oct-16 14:27:37


I don't get Ikea. It's hell. Last time we went we went to buy one specific item of furniture. Neither of us shop for 'fun'. We don't do 'browsing'. Taking a toddler was a massive mistake.

Everyone else seemed to stroll around at snails pace getting in the way. Finding anything specific is nigh on impossible.

Then queuing for about 30mins just to pay. Ridiculous. DH threatened divorce if I ever suggest going their again.

OlennasWimple Fri 14-Oct-16 14:30:20

Can I just make a plug for the facility on their website to check stock levels of specific items at specific stores before setting off to the Blue Warehouse of Hell...?

SisyphusDad Fri 14-Oct-16 14:30:42


He also created it as the eighth circle of Hell - needed the increased capacity.

IdaDown Fri 14-Oct-16 14:35:19

I took my DM this week. It's a 45 minute drive each way.

3 fnucking side plates.


Salmiak Fri 14-Oct-16 14:40:24

One of the things I love about Ikea is watching dh put together the furniture - he's just so bloody calm and competent at it. I tend to just sit there gazing adoringly at him whilst he magically assembles it all, occasionally I'll hold up some bits so he can hammer them together but mainly I am a spectator.

chunkymum1 Fri 14-Oct-16 14:47:07

I like the casino analogy- I get very disorientated whenever I visit, due to the lack of natural light and the fact that you are forced round the shop in a sort of wiggly vaguely circular route so I'm never really sure where I am.

I also thing a visit to ikea is a bit like pregnancy/child birth in that I find it painful and vow never to do it again but then a few years later I seem to forget all the negative stuff and get a burning desire to do it all again.

Those who are of a like mind might like to google Lancashire Hotpots Ikea song (I'd post a link but not sure how)- it says it all I think.

BowieFan Fri 14-Oct-16 14:54:37


You would think so. Every time we check, they have what we want, we get there and then they don't. I'm sure it's on purpose.

BowieFan Fri 14-Oct-16 14:56:44


DP has more tools than B&Q which he can never fucking find when we need them which he says are too complicated, so we use what comes with it.

I can now hear frustrated banging from upstairs which either means DP has got angry or he's just trying to fit the bits left over into random places now.

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