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Passive / Agressive Leaving Gift

(139 Posts)
MadamCantona Thu 13-Oct-16 23:37:02

I used to work in a very male environment; the type of place where the testosterone was so heavy I started to grow a beard and most other females worked in an admin capacity.
I don't want to sound ungrateful (a theme that follows throughout this post) but I hate any leaving 'do' that involves me and tried to exit this role with as least fuss as possible. My leaving gifts were what you would expect from a load of men who chuck money at a problem at the last minute; massive flowers, chocolates and a gift card; obviously all women love chocolate and can easily manipulate a huge bouquet on the Tube whilst heavily pregnant (see what I mean about sounding ungrateful?). However, I know my ex-boss would have relegated the tedious task to his PA, a Lady - who I could not get on with at any level, despite doing all the usual when I started - why don't we do coffee/ lunch / drinks? Offering to help with business and social events etc.
I've just opened the gift card - it's a Cowshed gift card - lovely, you might say. However, it can only be redeemed in store - not online - and I have no idea what the value is so reluctant to re-gift and pass any possible 'schlep' on. I do wonder about the message of the card; 'Cow' being the operative word and that she must have gone out of her way to purchase it!

19lottie82 Thu 13-Oct-16 23:40:14

YABU. And ungrateful.

ohlittlepea Thu 13-Oct-16 23:41:04

Erm maybe you're over thinking it a little? Perhaps she was passing the shop visiting somewhere?.does seem a little odd...my mum's old work were really evil and got her a make over voucher! Dicks

VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice Thu 13-Oct-16 23:41:25

Did they hand it over in person with a speech and a round of applause? I left a job and on my penultimate last day (because they couldn't get the date right) I nipped out for a sandwich and during the 5 mind that I'd gone, someone had slipped in and put the envelope on my desk. The card was signed by only half the staff. Fuckers.

Queenbean Thu 13-Oct-16 23:41:46

I think you're reading way too much in to it. It's a nice gift. Just say thanks, smile, go and find a shop, buy yourself some goodies then go home and nest

In a few weeks this will be the last thing on your mind because you'll have something far more important to focus on. Really, it's not a big deal

VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice Thu 13-Oct-16 23:42:45

Cowshed stuff is nice. You can give it to me if you like 😂

ilovesooty Thu 13-Oct-16 23:44:18

What a strange interpretation you've put on it.

Rrross1ges Thu 13-Oct-16 23:44:57

You're coming across as rather ungrateful.

incywincybitofa Thu 13-Oct-16 23:48:32

How long is the voucher good for and how long is your maternity, you may be grateful in 6 months time to be able to go out to a shop and spend for yourself on a treat.I remember my maternity and I started worrying about how much I was spending.

JellyBelli Thu 13-Oct-16 23:51:20

Here we go woth the cries of ungrateful... What heavily pregnant woman wouldnt want to have to travel to one store for 50p rather than shop at Amazon?

TaterTots Thu 13-Oct-16 23:51:30

I've no idea what Cowshed is, but I sincerely doubt your boss's PA picked it as some oblique form of insult. Not sure how it not being suitable for use online is relevant either.

bloodyteenagers Thu 13-Oct-16 23:53:04

How horrible of them to give you a gift that you can pamper yourself with. And to find a place that does spa maternity sessions, absolute nasty bastards.

BerylStreep Thu 13-Oct-16 23:53:27


I assume they weren't forced to contribute to flowers, chocolates and a gift voucher?

Might I suggest you may be reading too much into this?

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 13-Oct-16 23:54:14

Had never heard of them so had a Google. They do a specialist maternity range and mention their essential oils are ok in pregnancy.
I think you can choose to see it as likening you to a heifer OR quite nice really.
Try to see it as nice. If it was meant harshly then enjoying it would be the best revenge.

SeasonalVag Thu 13-Oct-16 23:54:20

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 13-Oct-16 23:56:10

If memory serves they are one of the few places / spas that will do worthwhile beauty treatments on a pregnant woman.
Their products are also a) expensive (unless £200 pots of eye cream is your norm) and b) baby friendly:chemical free.

It's not your bag, fair enough but I think you are being a bit of a cow.

blondieblondie Thu 13-Oct-16 23:56:27

I can see why she might have gone out of her way for the gift card.

BadLad Thu 13-Oct-16 23:59:24

Maybe there's a business opportunity here.

I start an online shoo called Miserable Cow.

Hey presto - anyone who wants a passive aggressive gift is sorted.

And with any luck, the recipient will be too pissed off to bother to spend it.

Catinthecorner Fri 14-Oct-16 00:01:21

Could you call, read the reference number to them and ask 'what is left on my gift card?'

user1476140278 Fri 14-Oct-16 00:01:58

Ew. You sound awful! Rude and needlessly suspicious. They just didn't think about how you'd carry the flowers because they've never been pregnant. The gift card...you can just ask the assistant at the till to check the value.

I assume you're hormonal.

Lorelei76 Fri 14-Oct-16 00:04:56

I don't think the Cowshed thing is a jibe, but I think it's a stupid thing to gift someone a card that can't be used online and I'm not pregnant!! She might as well have just got you some products so you don't have to trek there.

the flowers while heavily pregnant - yes, I hear you, whole thing doesn't sound very well thought through.

do ring them and find out what's on it, then maybe one of your mates can buy it off you for less than that - yes I have done this grin

Lorelei76 Fri 14-Oct-16 00:05:46

BadLad - the Cowshed range already features something called Grumpy Cow which someone bought me saying "at least I know you'd like the bottle" grin

PoppyPicklesPenguin Fri 14-Oct-16 00:06:01

Cowshed is lovely and one of the most expensive products on the market.

Large bunch of flowers, chocolate and a voucher for a really expensive brand

What evil colleagues you had, they should have brought you beard trimmers.

MiscellaneousAssortment Fri 14-Oct-16 00:09:22

I think you've gone down a twisted and elaborate rabbit hole on this one.

What are the missing links in this story that have made you leap from 'boo they just got me generic presents' to 'boo they got me a very specific and well thought out present which has layers of passive aggressive jibe'

I know you were talking about two different groups of work colleagues, but, it's a bit confusing to post it as part of one complaint?

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 14-Oct-16 00:13:40

Good grief, how do people leap to these bonkers assumptions?!

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