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To ask a personal question?

(10 Posts)
user1473509591 Thu 13-Oct-16 21:31:02

So I was watching a 'funny' video on Facebook about a pestering hand and the wife making up excuses to get out of sex (you might have seen it). I went to the comment section. I should have learnt by now that if I want to have a regular blood pressure I should stay well clear of comments on Facebook. I was pretty disgusted by the amount of men saying 'if you're not having sex and keeping your man satisfied don't be surprised if we cheat or divorce you'

So, how much importance do you put on physical intimacy on relationships?

FlabulousChic Thu 13-Oct-16 21:34:12


Mozfan1 Thu 13-Oct-16 21:38:21

He wouldn't be my husband if I heard him carrying on like that. They sound like a bunch of mysoginystic keyboard warriors trying to stir trouble. Ignore!

Eevee77 Thu 13-Oct-16 22:12:01

It's highly important to me. Does a lack of sex make it okay to cheat? Never. But pepole break up due to a lack of intimacy everyday, so yes, it's clearly highly important.

Guavaf1sh Thu 13-Oct-16 22:47:00

It's important. Of course it is. If one person wants it and the other dismisses it then clearly you have a problem that very commonly does lead to divorce. It works both ways. Just search mumsnet. It's only not a problem if neither partner wants it.

DiegeticMuch Thu 13-Oct-16 22:52:51

I think that it's naive to assume that a woman (or a man) could withhold physical intimacy with no consequences. Illness and early parenthood excluded, of course. I'm not passing judgement on anyone who eschews sex (I know it's a complex X topic), I'm just stating what I think is the case.

Elephantsonparade Thu 13-Oct-16 22:58:50

My dh and I have been together a long time but there have been periods where we haven't had sex/been intimate for a long time (once or twice it has been over a year). This has been due to various things, health issues on both sides etc. But I think the key is communication, we always discussed what was happening and how we felt about it. And we never lost intimacy in other areas, cuddles and kisses, a quick grope here and there! Haha. Sex and all the rest are very important but to me it's just one part of a huge range of things I need ad want from dh

Chikara Thu 13-Oct-16 23:45:50

Of course it is important and of course there will be consequences if intimacy ceases - there usually are. Some couples can work through it, some can't. I couldn't sustain my relationship without it.

That's not the same as saying that an exhausted women deserves what she gets if she doesn't "give her man what he needs". Those comments are horrible

MarcelineTheVampire Thu 13-Oct-16 23:50:53

Of course it's important. If your sex drives are mismatched and/or if one person dismisses the others concerns about lack of intimacy, this can ultimately lead to the breakdown of a relationship.

Is this a reason to cheat? well I guess it could be but it would be wrong to do so in my opinion, but I would end a relationship if it lacked sex, definitely.

RainbowBriteRules Fri 14-Oct-16 17:19:24

If you'd asked me a few months ago, I'd have said hardly any importance, although I'd like to be attracted to the person I'm with. Having recently found a sex drive I didn't think I had, I'd say it is now important to me.

I like to think, having been the person with the low sex drive, that I would understand if the other person didn't / couldn't have sex as much as I'd like to. It certainly made me fall in love with my DH more that he never pressured me for sex when I didn't feel like it.

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