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Sisters Wedding

(9 Posts)
pleasedontdespair Thu 13-Oct-16 19:28:24

My sister is getting married next month and has been demanding from the start actually she is a very demanding person anyway! She lives an hour or so away and I'm always going back and forth to help her out with wedding bits at weekends as I work f/t. She has asked me to phone in sick on the day before the wedding to help out which I will not do.

She has given me my bridesmaid dress which she has paid for and told me to 'sort out the alterations' as her lady couldn't do it as she only works weekdays and I'm
only free weekends. This has cost me £50. I also paid for my hair/make up trail that had to be done for £40.

She wants me to stay in room with her at the venue the night before and wants me to pay half which is £125 this is what I'm upset about the most. She is very wealthy and could afford to pay this easily. DH and I have 3 children and both work f/t struggle a bit at times like normal hardworking families do. When DH and I got married I paid for her to stay with me the night before (and her and her family on my wedding night) and paid for everything hair trials/make up, alterations the lot.

AIBU to be pissed off with this? I have swallowed all the rest of her demands paid out for stuff and not moaned once. I'm also having my 2 nieces and baby nephew on the night which again was told to and not asked! Which I don't mind doing but after everything I have done for her i don't think she is being very fair. I thought she would at least pay for me the night before as she wants me to be there.

I just don't know how to tell her that I'm not happy about it without stressing her out. Or do I just pay it and keep her happy. Thoughts please as it's starting to get me down now and I don't want to feel like this.

Thanks :-)

Firsttimer82 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:30:13

Maybe she doesn't realise. She is your sister just be honest.

Inertia Thu 13-Oct-16 19:33:17

Just tell her that you don't have the money to pay half the hotel costs, but you can meet her there on the wedding morning.

RandomMess Thu 13-Oct-16 19:35:51

"Lovely idea sis but I can't afford it"

luckylucky24 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:36:24

"Sorry I don't have the money to stay the night before. I will see you early on the morning."

KC225 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:42:34

Spending so much time travelling back and forth at the weekend when you have kids is nuts. It's a wedding, not a terminal illness.

Another one for telling her enough is enough. Remind her you have already paid out a lot of money for the trial and alterations. Say, if you want me to stay the night before the wedding you will have to pay the full amount as I did for you when I got married.

peri89 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:56:46

As others have said, she's your sister. Just tell her. Maybe come up with workable alternatives but if you can't afford it you can't. She probably hadn't considered because she's caught up in the rest of the planning. Bridesmaid duties are always a bit awkward in terms of who pays for what, there are so many different expectations. But you can only do what you can afford - ask what's important to her and try to work with it together.

pleasedontdespair Thu 13-Oct-16 21:14:39

Yes thanks everyone. I'll tell her asap and be honest. I will point out that I have really helped out as much as I possibly could and just be honest even if she doesn't understand now I hope she will in time.

You've already been more than reasonable, don't give more than you can afford to unbegrudgingly.

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