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AIBU? Toys now before Christmas

(49 Posts)
2babas2cats Thu 13-Oct-16 19:12:21

My DD is 2 and my DS is 1. DDs birthday is early January so planning for Christmas and her birthday needs to be done a while in advance. I've been buying things and putting them away and today, she's come home with a Disney doll I bought for Christmas from her day of childcare with my inlaws. My DS also got a toy which we had planned to buy for his Christmas.

DD was unwell last week and in laws watched her. They took her shopping and bought her a doll then too. I understood she wasn't well but today was for no reason.

We have asked on numerous occasions that they don't buy toys especially in the run up to Christmas. I now have to take this doll back for a swap or keep it for a birthday gift for one of her friends. Me and DH work full time and have been planning ahead buying things for months which we've mentioned to in laws.

AIBU to be annoyed that they've bought presents today when we asked them not to? What do other families do? We're already finding it hard to decide what to get DS for Christmas as it is with him being young and playing with a lot of his sisters toys.

NapQueen Thu 13-Oct-16 19:14:14


Your dcs have loving grandparents who mind the dc for you and treat them now and again.

Someone alert the press.

2babas2cats Thu 13-Oct-16 19:20:06

No not quite. They provide childcare one day a week and buy expensive gifts often which leaves us struggling for birthday and Christmas ideas. Also, they have admitted they've given in to DD buying things for her she's asked for and we've asked they don't do that because that isn't setting her up to learn she doesn't always get what she wants.

ScarletForYa Thu 13-Oct-16 19:21:59


You're not going to ever going to be able to control what toys children get randomly here and there from family.

Exchanging duplicates is just part of parenthood. Accept it because you'll be doing this for years to come.

In two or three years you'll be buying toys just because it's Tuesday/they ate weep their dinner/rewards for toilet training/whatever.

It might seem a big deal now but it's not. This is the way it'll be. The never ending management of an avalanche of toys. wink

klassy Thu 13-Oct-16 19:24:02

Isn't she little enough now to hide it away until Christmas anyway? (Or do toddlers have good memories?) (disclaimer - I know nothing)

Soubriquet Thu 13-Oct-16 19:26:17

I do get it

There's nothing worse buying things ready for Christmas, to find someone else has bought your children it for an everyday treat

It sounds like a bit of miscommunication between you.

Could you tell you inlaws that you are buying for Christmas now. You have bought this and you intend to buy this this and this

LittleBearPad Thu 13-Oct-16 19:32:48

Just swap the one you have hidden for Christmas. It's not really a big deal.

AlbertaDewdrop Thu 13-Oct-16 19:33:33

Grandparents often buy gifts for no reason. As do aunts, friends, next door neighbours, cousins etc.

Most people think it is rather lovely to give and receive gifts.

Do you live in a tiny flat? Is space an issue?

ALemonyPea Thu 13-Oct-16 19:36:41

My in laws used to do this all the time, buy my DC presents when it wasn't their birthdays or Christmas. They're both dead now, so can no longer do it. I know which one myself and my children prefer.

It's what grandparents do, spoil their grandchildren.

Firsttimer82 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:38:46


BertrandRussell Thu 13-Oct-16 19:38:46

I just knew this would be an in law thread! grin

MrEBear Thu 13-Oct-16 19:45:38

It would bug me regardless of who bought it. Given the ages of your children I would be half tempted to take the toys off the kids and put them away for Christmas (and return the ones you bought).

Alternatively what ever other ideas you had for Christmas you take those ideas and give boring suggestions like clothes / money for them to gift at Christmas.

Crunchymum Thu 13-Oct-16 19:46:58

God just take the gifts and hide them to wrap.


Crunchymum Thu 13-Oct-16 19:47:54

And return you gifts. Sorted... and money saved!

Crunchymum Thu 13-Oct-16 19:48:39

* your

SEsofty Thu 13-Oct-16 19:56:33

Don't do Christmas shopping until December

2babas2cats Thu 13-Oct-16 20:20:28

We live in a reasonable sized 3 bed semi but the living room is overrun with toys!!

I have been taking advantage of offers and spreading the cost of Christmas over the year. We have told in laws things we bought already but they seem to either forget or ignore us!

My DH is only child who wasn't spoilt by any means. His parents seem to think it's their right to spoil their grandchildren but they forget my parents are also wanting to do the same but tend to get pushed out by them which is why we'd kindly asked them to buy reign it in a bit.

Floggingmolly Thu 13-Oct-16 20:23:51

How on earth do your parents get "pushed out" by your in laws when it comes to treating your kids??

ChocolateButton15 Thu 13-Oct-16 20:33:53

If they get doubles they could leave the doubles at grandparents house? Saves taking toys every time you go over.
In the nicest way possible I think you are over reacting. You are lucky to have people around that want to spoil and look after your children.

abbsismyhero Thu 13-Oct-16 21:04:48

Send toys to there house to live they seem to be more reluctant to buy heaps of toys if they have to keep them at their house imho (my ex husbands parents do this they found out I was buying ds a wii u for Christmas so they gave him a playstation 3 for no reason in December hmm I use the playstation more for Netflix he uses his wii to play games on)

Sassypants82 Thu 13-Oct-16 21:19:07

I totally get this. We both come from large families, there's a general ban on giving our DC anything. Even at his birthday, it's one joint gift from everyone together that everyone contributes a small amount to. Similar at Christmas. Keeps crap out of our house & prevents my DC taking things for granted & being overwhelmed by toys.

MimiSunshine Thu 13-Oct-16 21:22:38

Actually I don't think YABU, if the doll was bought for Christmas and they just bought it because there's a Y in the day of the week and that's fairly common practise then I think they're out of order.

If they wanted to treat their grandchild they should have bought her a little 'pocket money' present that is I'm sure she would have been chuffed with not Christmas level toys, that's about them more than its about your DD and spoiling her in a bad way not an indulgent granny way

BrainPrions Thu 13-Oct-16 21:24:39

Don't do Christmas shopping until December

That's great if you have disposable income. Everything goes through the roof starting in mid-November. We get toys when they're on sale throughout the year and just sort of hoard them until Christmas. When December comes around the only thing we really get are a few small things here as stocking stuffers. Saves us quite a bit in the long run.

Lookinatu Thu 13-Oct-16 21:30:13

My mum does this and it drives me crackers. She also buys the cheaper alternative to the original and it doesn't seem to last very long. But it's her way of showing her love and now I just show her a list of what they are getting for Xmas and ask her not to buy anything from the list.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 13-Oct-16 21:30:26

My parents do this, but im thrilled about it. Saves me money. the children don't care who has paid for the presents. Look on the bright side.

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