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WIBU to have called my mother out on this

(4 Posts)
ThisPasadenaHomemaker Wed 12-Oct-16 21:27:56

totally unnecessary and really fucking annoying behaviour? I think she is a low level narc to be honest.

We live in different countries and communicate by landline (she rings most evenings) and whatsapp. My landline is currently full out of action while I wait for BT to come and hopefully fix it. This has increased the volume of her whatsapp messages. If I don't reply to one within whatever arbitrary time frame she has deemed acceptable (usually around 2 minutes) she keeps sending more and more. Feigning concern when she knows there's nothing up and then eventually throwing sarcastic digs. I have a job, college, 2 DCs and a bloody dog. I'm busy/stressed/tired.

A few months ago she offered (with no gun to her head) to help with tuition fees for my course. I was extremely grateful and thankful.

Tonight after she had had two digs at me for not replying to messages/ringing enough in general I asked her if there was a reason she was being so unpleasant. Her reply was that she couldn't understand why I was being so hurtful to her after "all the help she is giving me". She is giving me help and I have thanked her profusely and frequently. She knows that I am grateful.

I told her that if she were going to hold this gesture over me and use it as a way to guilt trip me then I'd rather not have her help at all.

She has replied but I haven't read it. Looks like more 'poor me' bollocks. Grrr. Why be so nasty? Why do something nice for someone if you're then going to use it as a stick to beat them with? I probably shouldn't have replied but I just hate that sort of behaviour.

Bluetrews25 Wed 12-Oct-16 21:56:33

YANBU, but the only way to stop it is to pay the money back and accept no more. Some mothers are like that, sadly.

Cherrysoup Wed 12-Oct-16 22:01:13

Narc. Mine does the same. I refused the money she dangled annually and she was devastated, because now she can't demand certain things. Makes me happier.

Wrinklytights Wed 12-Oct-16 22:20:43

YANBU

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