My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To be fucked off with the peer group fashion police?

63 replies

malificent7 · 12/10/2016 11:23

Dd is 8 ffs. There us a very clear uniform policy including letters home about svhool uniform rukes.
And yet, every fucking morning we are faced with the angst and faffing about what to wear to school.
She wont wear half of what i gave bought as it is not deemed 'cool' by her peers.
Heaven forbid i try to get her to wear a coat or warm tights. No. The fashion police favour skirts rolled up. Pencil skirts etc. At 8. The head dosnt like it. I feel pressured as i dont want her to be made fun of.
I forced her to wear tights ths morning. IT'S FREEZING.


Aibu to be fucked off with the daily dressing up drama and what can i do to stop it?

I dont give a shit if Polly tiddles thinks that a flimsy bomber jacket is the only thing to wear. Thick winter coats are my thing.

AIBU

OP posts:
Report
malificent7 · 12/10/2016 11:23

Typos... phone!!! Rules sorry! Arf!!!

OP posts:
Report
Scarydinosaurs · 12/10/2016 11:26

Pencil skirts at 8!!!

Stick to the rules. Tights on. I dread the thought of all this to come...mine are about to start school next year and I'm not ready!

Report
Stormwhale · 12/10/2016 11:28

Yanbu. That makes me really sad. She is 8 years old and would rather be cold and uncomfortable than be judged as less than cool. Poor kid. If more parents allowed their children to be children rather than mini teens/adults then this wouldn't happen. Fuck off with the brands and fashion. Kids should be in rough and tumble clothes made for getting messy and mucking about.

Report
StarlingMurmuration · 12/10/2016 11:28

Pencil skirts at 8!?!?!?!? That's just awful, poor you. I don't have any suggestions because I just have 23 month old DS, but I remember we didn't start rolling up our skirts til we were 13 or 14. It's so wrong. What are the school doing to try to de-sexualise these little girls? Is there anything that can be done?

Report
ijustwannadance · 12/10/2016 11:29

Yes it's shit and easier said than done get a child to not want to fit in.
Why isn't the head doing anything about it if going against policy?

Report
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 12/10/2016 11:29

Ynbu. I take it your dds school doesn't have a uniform. That's where the competing and nastiness and the arguing over what to wear comes into play.

Report
Seeline · 12/10/2016 11:37

Thankfully DD doesn't seem the least bothered by this - she revels in being different. She is 12 and long may it continue. I have to say though that I think a lot of the high street shops and supermarkets re partly to blame. The school uniform is fashion in black and grey, not clothing suitable for an 8yo to wear to school. Every year they are different - either very short, or very tight, or pleated etc. They should be a basic, classic design. My DD is quite small for her age, and I remember one year trying to buy school skirts and even the ones that were supposed to be for her age were too short (I usually buy at least a year younger if not two to get stuff to fit).

Report
Babymamamama · 12/10/2016 11:44

In your shoes I might be asking the head to reinforce the rules more clearly. Surely pencil skirts are not part of the uniform? I chose a uniformed school specifically to avoid this kind of palaver. I hate the way young girls feel so much pressure to conform so you have my sympathies.

Report
PikachuSayBoo · 12/10/2016 11:47

Sounds awful.

Dd is 15you and touch wood I haven't had this. She does her own thing mostly.

Report
Shezza71 · 12/10/2016 12:00

Wow at 8. That's young to be so fashion conscious. The Polly Tiddles of the school world are a pain. I would of thought pencil skirts at her age would be a huge no from school. My dd16 left school now, but for the last 2 years skirts had to be specific from local uniform shop, they even had school initials embroidered on, couple of different styles to choose from but we're very strict about the policy

Report
quasibex · 12/10/2016 12:01

My 9 year old DD tried the "it's not cool" line on me so I gave her a choice. I either choose what she wore to school or I choose to stop paying for her football club.

Oddly enough she seems happy that I choose her school uniform now.

Report
Eolian · 12/10/2016 12:07

At 8?? I don't think dd (11)would even know what a pencil skirt is! There were a couple of girls in her yr6 primary class who were already into the rolling the school skirt up and wearing of illicit make-up, but fortunately dd thought they were really silly and seems to be continuing in that vein at secondary. The whole point of uniform is to avoid this kind of fashion one-upmanship. There's not much point in having it if it's not working.

Report
Kabex · 12/10/2016 12:08

To be honest it's better she's bullied than to grow up thinking dressing like that as a child is normal and trying to fit in.

Report
Sancia · 12/10/2016 12:13

We don't have this in my son's year, yet, but I've seen in Years 5 and 6 some girls flouting the rules turning up in knee high boots, some with heels, cardigans and jumpers that are not school style nor school colour - so, different shade of green, basically something nice from one's wardrobe and elevating herself above the plebs in their school cardies - or ridiculous over-the-top bedazzled hair bows with trailing ribbons. The boys have been permitted ugly partially-shaven styles with tufts of lonely hair permitted to remain in odd places. One parent shaved half her daughter's head, leaving half a head of lovely blonde curls and a bald Number 1 on the other half, like Two Face in Batman. Weird.

Basically as soon as one does it, the rest want to do it, and then you have Haves and Have Nots and tears, tantrums and parental fights because they don't feel the school has their back. If the school is allowing Belynda-Mae to wear red over-knee heeled boots and a Thai Royalty crown perched on her head, then how do you explain to the child "Well, in this family we follow the rules" without having Belynda-Mae's mum come up and punch you once that phrase is parroted back to her?

The school should put a stop to the nonsense at the first instance - sending the message it will not be tolerated and the children are not to emulate the rulebreaker.

Report
malificent7 · 12/10/2016 12:14

Thanks for the support. Im not terribly interested in people whose daughters are nothing like this. I am up for some advice though!

OP posts:
Report
Dontpanicpyke · 12/10/2016 12:17

At 8? Really???

My dds are the most fashion conscious but pencil skirts at 8 Is unheard of in my orbit. Also thick tights the norm.

Hair bobbles yes and maybe maybe shoes and coats.


But pencil skirts Honestly op that's really unusual.

Could you move her? And I detest uniform by the way.

Report
Only1scoop · 12/10/2016 12:18

Can you speak to the head re enforcing the uniform rules etc. Sounds awful for you and your dd

Report
Dontpanicpyke · 12/10/2016 12:19

llive the school has a strict policy.

Report
JustSpeakSense · 12/10/2016 12:19

YANBU!

Could you try to compromise with her, if she agrees to warm tights for example, she can wear the ghastly pencil skirt or turn an eye to her bare legs if she agrees to a warm coat.

Do she understands you are trying to be 'cool' but sensible at the same time.

Report
Dontpanicpyke · 12/10/2016 12:20

Can I stipulate op I had 4 kids youngest 17 and they were all ultra fashion conscious. But think tights are in fashion unlike pencil skirts at the moment.

Report
JustSpeakSense · 12/10/2016 12:20

*turn a blind eye

*So

Ffs autocorrect!

Report
Nermerner · 12/10/2016 12:22

Stop pandering to it. She's 8. I'm sure there's fashion police at dds school (no uniform) but she's not interested in their opinion. What is it about your dd which makes her feel she has to wear stuff they approve of?

Report

Newsletters you might like

Discover Exclusive Savings!

Sign up to our Money Saver newsletter now and receive exclusive deals and hot tips on where to find the biggest online bargains, tailored just for Mumsnetters.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Parent-Approved Gems Await!

Subscribe to our weekly Swears By newsletter and receive handpicked recommendations for parents, by parents, every Sunday.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

PikachuSayBoo · 12/10/2016 12:22

Ok, so my advice would be tell her not to be swayed by the crowd. Tell her to be herself.

Report
Nermerner · 12/10/2016 12:24

Fwiw dd has never worn tights to school even when it's cold. Can she not wear trousers?

Report
gamerwidow · 12/10/2016 12:25

Dd (6) has very strong opinions about what she wants to wear and how she looks resulting in a 30 min crying fit when I made her have a ponytail for PE last week. On school days I just make her wear what I think is appropriate and ignore the tears and tantrums. Weekends and holidays though I give her full rein and she can do what she likes with her clothes or hair however ridiculous it looks.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.