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To be fucked off with the peer group fashion police?

(64 Posts)
malificent7 Wed 12-Oct-16 11:23:21

Dd is 8 ffs. There us a very clear uniform policy including letters home about svhool uniform rukes.
And yet, every fucking morning we are faced with the angst and faffing about what to wear to school.
She wont wear half of what i gave bought as it is not deemed 'cool' by her peers.
Heaven forbid i try to get her to wear a coat or warm tights. No. The fashion police favour skirts rolled up. Pencil skirts etc. At 8. The head dosnt like it. I feel pressured as i dont want her to be made fun of.
I forced her to wear tights ths morning. IT'S FREEZING.

Aibu to be fucked off with the daily dressing up drama and what can i do to stop it?

I dont give a shit if Polly tiddles thinks that a flimsy bomber jacket is the only thing to wear. Thick winter coats are my thing.

AIBU

malificent7 Wed 12-Oct-16 11:23:59

Typos... phone!!! Rules sorry! Arf!!!

Scarydinosaurs Wed 12-Oct-16 11:26:16

Pencil skirts at 8!!!

Stick to the rules. Tights on. I dread the thought of all this to come...mine are about to start school next year and I'm not ready!

Stormwhale Wed 12-Oct-16 11:28:24

Yanbu. That makes me really sad. She is 8 years old and would rather be cold and uncomfortable than be judged as less than cool. Poor kid. If more parents allowed their children to be children rather than mini teens/adults then this wouldn't happen. Fuck off with the brands and fashion. Kids should be in rough and tumble clothes made for getting messy and mucking about.

StarlingMurmuration Wed 12-Oct-16 11:28:36

Pencil skirts at 8!?!?!?!? That's just awful, poor you. I don't have any suggestions because I just have 23 month old DS, but I remember we didn't start rolling up our skirts til we were 13 or 14. It's so wrong. What are the school doing to try to de-sexualise these little girls? Is there anything that can be done?

ijustwannadance Wed 12-Oct-16 11:29:47

Yes it's shit and easier said than done get a child to not want to fit in.
Why isn't the head doing anything about it if going against policy?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 12-Oct-16 11:29:52

Ynbu. I take it your dds school doesn't have a uniform. That's where the competing and nastiness and the arguing over what to wear comes into play.

Seeline Wed 12-Oct-16 11:37:02

Thankfully DD doesn't seem the least bothered by this - she revels in being different. She is 12 and long may it continue. I have to say though that I think a lot of the high street shops and supermarkets re partly to blame. The school uniform is fashion in black and grey, not clothing suitable for an 8yo to wear to school. Every year they are different - either very short, or very tight, or pleated etc. They should be a basic, classic design. My DD is quite small for her age, and I remember one year trying to buy school skirts and even the ones that were supposed to be for her age were too short (I usually buy at least a year younger if not two to get stuff to fit).

Babymamamama Wed 12-Oct-16 11:44:03

In your shoes I might be asking the head to reinforce the rules more clearly. Surely pencil skirts are not part of the uniform? I chose a uniformed school specifically to avoid this kind of palaver. I hate the way young girls feel so much pressure to conform so you have my sympathies.

PikachuSayBoo Wed 12-Oct-16 11:47:16

Sounds awful.

Dd is 15you and touch wood I haven't had this. She does her own thing mostly.

Shezza71 Wed 12-Oct-16 12:00:56

Wow at 8. That's young to be so fashion conscious. The Polly Tiddles of the school world are a pain. I would of thought pencil skirts at her age would be a huge no from school. My dd16 left school now, but for the last 2 years skirts had to be specific from local uniform shop, they even had school initials embroidered on, couple of different styles to choose from but we're very strict about the policy

quasibex Wed 12-Oct-16 12:01:22

My 9 year old DD tried the "it's not cool" line on me so I gave her a choice. I either choose what she wore to school or I choose to stop paying for her football club.

Oddly enough she seems happy that I choose her school uniform now.

Eolian Wed 12-Oct-16 12:07:01

At 8?? I don't think dd (11)would even know what a pencil skirt is! There were a couple of girls in her yr6 primary class who were already into the rolling the school skirt up and wearing of illicit make-up, but fortunately dd thought they were really silly and seems to be continuing in that vein at secondary. The whole point of uniform is to avoid this kind of fashion one-upmanship. There's not much point in having it if it's not working.

Kabex Wed 12-Oct-16 12:08:14

To be honest it's better she's bullied than to grow up thinking dressing like that as a child is normal and trying to fit in.

Sancia Wed 12-Oct-16 12:13:45

We don't have this in my son's year, yet, but I've seen in Years 5 and 6 some girls flouting the rules turning up in knee high boots, some with heels, cardigans and jumpers that are not school style nor school colour - so, different shade of green, basically something nice from one's wardrobe and elevating herself above the plebs in their school cardies - or ridiculous over-the-top bedazzled hair bows with trailing ribbons. The boys have been permitted ugly partially-shaven styles with tufts of lonely hair permitted to remain in odd places. One parent shaved half her daughter's head, leaving half a head of lovely blonde curls and a bald Number 1 on the other half, like Two Face in Batman. Weird.

Basically as soon as one does it, the rest want to do it, and then you have Haves and Have Nots and tears, tantrums and parental fights because they don't feel the school has their back. If the school is allowing Belynda-Mae to wear red over-knee heeled boots and a Thai Royalty crown perched on her head, then how do you explain to the child "Well, in this family we follow the rules" without having Belynda-Mae's mum come up and punch you once that phrase is parroted back to her?

The school should put a stop to the nonsense at the first instance - sending the message it will not be tolerated and the children are not to emulate the rulebreaker.

malificent7 Wed 12-Oct-16 12:14:58

Thanks for the support. Im not terribly interested in people whose daughters are nothing like this. I am up for some advice though!

Dontpanicpyke Wed 12-Oct-16 12:17:48

At 8? Really???

My dds are the most fashion conscious but pencil skirts at 8 Is unheard of in my orbit. Also thick tights the norm.

Hair bobbles yes and maybe maybe shoes and coats.

But pencil skirts Honestly op that's really unusual.

Could you move her? And I detest uniform by the way.

Only1scoop Wed 12-Oct-16 12:18:00

Can you speak to the head re enforcing the uniform rules etc. Sounds awful for you and your dd

Dontpanicpyke Wed 12-Oct-16 12:19:19

llive the school has a strict policy.

JustSpeakSense Wed 12-Oct-16 12:19:27

YANBU!

Could you try to compromise with her, if she agrees to warm tights for example, she can wear the ghastly pencil skirt or turn an eye to her bare legs if she agrees to a warm coat.

Do she understands you are trying to be 'cool' but sensible at the same time.

Dontpanicpyke Wed 12-Oct-16 12:20:51

Can I stipulate op I had 4 kids youngest 17 and they were all ultra fashion conscious. But think tights are in fashion unlike pencil skirts at the moment.

JustSpeakSense Wed 12-Oct-16 12:20:53

*turn a blind eye

*So

Ffs autocorrect!

Nermerner Wed 12-Oct-16 12:22:16

Stop pandering to it. She's 8. I'm sure there's fashion police at dds school (no uniform) but she's not interested in their opinion. What is it about your dd which makes her feel she has to wear stuff they approve of?

PikachuSayBoo Wed 12-Oct-16 12:22:22

Ok, so my advice would be tell her not to be swayed by the crowd. Tell her to be herself.

Nermerner Wed 12-Oct-16 12:24:06

Fwiw dd has never worn tights to school even when it's cold. Can she not wear trousers?

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