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To detest WhatsApp

(20 Posts)
littlemisseatsherfeelings Tue 11-Oct-16 21:31:05

Am I the only one who thinks this app is just awful?! You message people, can see that they've read your message and sometimes days, a week passes, they reply to others on other groups, but leave you hanging. Silence in group chat is just weird isn't it?!

These are people I see and talk to regularly, although the bond in the group is not as strong as it used to be. But it's been like this for nearly two years. A couple of times I left it and immediately got the separate messages 'what's up' 'is everything ok?' 'Why did you leave?'

I'm sat over here like BECAUSE NO ONE IS REPLYING!!! But I'm the weird awkward one for trying to leave a group that won't communicate.

If we were all sat round a table in the pub and I asked the same questions it would be really frigging awkward if everyone ignored me (which I'm confident wouldn't happen in real life) so why so rude on WhatsApp?

Would I be unreasonable to just quit all the groups and log out and ask/expect people to use other msg'ing to contact or call me. I think it'll probably get even more quiet and I'll be lonelier than ever but the waiting is torturous.

Or is that melodramatic. If so - any advice? What else can I try?

NickNacks Tue 11-Oct-16 21:37:40

I think the problem is your friends not whatsapp .

ParForTheCourses Tue 11-Oct-16 21:39:32

I agree with nick. Watsapp has just made you realise about the people around you. You need to look at them not it and yes just come off everything

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 11-Oct-16 21:40:08

Is this just a problem with these friends, or do you feel quite socially anxious anyway?

Regardless, WhatsApp is only worthwhile if you're enjoying it. If you're being ignored and it's causing you stress to the point of checking when people have been online and if they've replied to you,delete it. People will contact you using another method. You'll feel less stressed and anxious. It's a win win situation.

jammyjay Tue 11-Oct-16 21:46:56

I love WhatsApp! Though use it for the real stuff - Strictly, X Factor - important stuff like that. For more urgent things I use text message, in my head texts have more status than WhatsApp hmm This means when I don't get responses from WA messages I'm not too bothered. If the lack of messages is bothering you then you are right to leave. But them questioning you suggests they don't know this bothers you.

littlemisseatsherfeelings Tue 11-Oct-16 21:56:00

We used to be a tight knit gang and it's crumbled a bit round the edges. I think there's a general denial about how bad it's got. I'm in the awkward position that I still get on with everyone where as there are some who dislike each other now and just try to play nice. Although not very well.

So maybe me leaving makes them think ooer...

So sick of the dysfunctional element, feel like I'm being held in there against my will or I'm perceived to be mardy for leaving.

It's also just really bloody impolite.

Ok, did it, going to leave again then, and if they want me to stay like last time, I'll just stand my ground and politely explain.

littlemisseatsherfeelings Tue 11-Oct-16 21:56:52

That last bit meant to say 'sod it' not 'did it'

littlemisseatsherfeelings Tue 11-Oct-16 21:59:45

I do get quite anxious about friendships yes, but I have other groups who communicate perfectly well on WhatsApp and other messaging.

I do think that the element of knowing you're being ignored is awful. I can't help myself checking, I guess that's my issue.

CreepingDogFart Tue 11-Oct-16 22:04:51

If you don't like it then delete it. End of drama.

ParForTheCourses Tue 11-Oct-16 22:09:36

Perhaps the group is fragmenting then op and while others have a chosen 'side' you are happy floating. As such you don't belong to any in a way and so until you make yourself really known then they ignore.

Whatever the reasons it's clear this is about your friends. Just remove yourself and be honest.

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 11-Oct-16 22:14:30

I like WhatsApp as I like I can see when it's been read. It's your friends that the problem, not the app.

I was on a group chat (not WhatsApp) and if I didn't reply (actually I was, I percieved to not be) or say something they didn't like, one person kept deleting me! Then got pissy with me when I called her out on it. I don't bother with group chats anymore. I'd rather text individually or set up a Facebook event if it's to invite people to something.

user1474781546 Tue 11-Oct-16 22:18:04

I like whatsapp. We have a group of 15 that chat regulary ( like a money saving group) and it's great.

littlemisseatsherfeelings Tue 11-Oct-16 22:18:15

Thanks Par. I wouldn't say I'm happy floating but don't have any reason to fall out with any of them. I do appreciate your rational wisdom.

Mumsnet brutal honesty to the rescue again. (Not meant as a dig, just that you can count on a reality check) sad

ParForTheCourses Tue 11-Oct-16 22:24:26

Unfortunately if people have bees in their bonnets about others, they will see it very much as floating. Sadly I've been there and rarely see some of the old group because of it. When I do they always try to slyly slip something in about the other old members that they don't get on with.

I hope they'll start making more of an effort when you withdraw, just watch out for hints that they are trying to get you to take a side.

Haroldplaystheharmonica Tue 11-Oct-16 22:38:42

I love it! I have so many groups for different friends and family and love the fact you can see when someone is replying. Can't think of anything I don't like about WhatsApp!

TheProblemOfSusan Tue 11-Oct-16 22:40:08

You know you can change your settings on it so that other people can't see if you've read the message or not? It means you can't see if they have, but it might reduce some of the anxiety around it?

But I love whatsapp, it's so much better than texting, handles images etc. much better. Agree with the pp - it's not a whatsapp problem, it's a friend problem.

MickleTonster Tue 11-Oct-16 22:50:41

It doesn't work in group chats Susan, you can still see when people have read the messages.

kissmethere Tue 11-Oct-16 23:16:42

I don't like it for the reason it shows when you've read it. And ha s people get arsey about it.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes Tue 11-Oct-16 23:18:34

I love it. Fast and free to send photos.

Agree your friends are the issue

UsernameHistory Wed 12-Oct-16 02:21:51

I have a similar set up on my emails and text messages and FB message and Skype... you can see when they've been read.

It'll occasionally give me pause for thought when it's a professional email which is read but not replied to for a while but otherwise I don't see the problem.

Group messaging is fine on it. Seems to be more reliable than Viber and the UI is nicer to use: it's less cluttered and nicer colours.

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