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To ask for help with losing weight? (title edited by MNHQ)

(249 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

oneaddiction Tue 11-Oct-16 19:50:14

I've deliberately posted here as I probably need harsh responses.

My mother was an alcoholic, drank herself to death when I was very young.

I am not a boozer. I am an eater, and I'm killing myself. I have no idea how to stop. We can have no food at all in this house because I will eat it. I have even taken food out of the bins and eaten it.

I've binge eaten for YEARS (since I was a kid really) but with periods of starvation in between so never got that big, then got pregnant and the only thing that stopped me feeling sick all the time was food. So I ate it.

Now I'm colossal. I still can't stop.

I'm worried I'm going to end up like my mother.

A few things - I won't go to WW or SW, please don't suggest, and I don't think counselling will help. I guess I need to find willpower but HOW. I am looking for stories form people who DID stop smoking or drinking or whatever?

DrunctioningFunk Tue 11-Oct-16 19:52:26

Sorry for how you are feeling.

Have you been to see your GP? Sounds obvious but taking some professional help is the first step xx

DrunctioningFunk Tue 11-Oct-16 19:53:05

And I don't mean see the doctor for counselling, I mean for physical help.

oneaddiction Tue 11-Oct-16 19:53:15

No, I'm definitely not going to the doctor. It's something only I can sort.

Mide7 Tue 11-Oct-16 19:54:26

I think counselling will help to be honest.

Diets and alike are only part of the story of weight loss. A big part that doesn't often get talked about is people's relationship with food and certain food in particular.

PinkSquash Tue 11-Oct-16 19:54:40

I think you need the support from your GP to help you as well as your own motivation

emotionsecho Tue 11-Oct-16 19:54:48

Sorry, but I do think you need some serious counselling, removing food from the bin to eat is way beyond a problem with willpower.

PigPigTrotters Tue 11-Oct-16 19:55:10

I do think a GP could help, maybe with counselling, but I understand why you don't want to.
Have you heard of hypnotic gastric bands? I think Paul McKenna has a book with a cd. For the cost of a book that might be worth trying?

TellMeStraight Tue 11-Oct-16 19:56:18

The only way you're going to sort it out yourself is if you magically find the will power you've been missing for years. That's no easy feat.

Why won't you join a group, or get help?

To what extremes do you go to get food?

Are you able to just have food for your meals in the house and nothing else?

What can you do to keep yourself occupied so you don't eat?

Boundaries Tue 11-Oct-16 19:56:21

It's very, very difficult to change addictive behaviour on your own. Putting up blocks to help is one strategy addicts use to remain addicted, often at the stage before they are really ready to sort it.

I'd start by asking why you don't want to look at genuine strategies and support.

Candlelight123 Tue 11-Oct-16 19:56:42

Why won't you go to SW or WW?? Have you ever been before? From my experience it is very non judgemental and they never read your weight out.
I did stop smoking, just sheer & utter willpower. Smoked for 10 years, one day I just decided to stop took it one day at a time.literally refused to let myself have one.

backonthebikeagain Tue 11-Oct-16 19:58:09

You want to change so you can. I lost 7 stone after having my dd2. I used to eat and eat and eat. I did the atkins diet to start with and that made me lose a lot of weight quickly. It spurred me on to keep going and I started doing exercise dvds at home. In the evenings when no one else was around. I also had an exercise bike at one point and would cycle whilst watching tv!

It isnt easy but I could never go back now and make sure I maintain the weight I am, give or take a few lbs.

I liked atkins because I could eat chicken, bacon, eggs, jelly and cream, steak etc. I also had 'cheat' days every two weeks. I'd eat whatever I wanted. I think it also helped to kick start my metabolism.

It is doable but you need to stick to whatever you decide to help you feel better about yourself.

Beg2differ Tue 11-Oct-16 19:58:53

Look up David Kilmurry x

ChequeOff Tue 11-Oct-16 19:58:54

OP, the fact you've posted here tonight means something.

Keep posting love. We're all here, behind you.

Seekingadvice123 Tue 11-Oct-16 20:00:01

You can't sort this by yourself. You need help. You are looking for some magic solution from MN for what sounds like a serious food issue. If you truly want to help yourself then you need to see your GP in the first instance.

oneaddiction Tue 11-Oct-16 20:00:22

I know I wouldn't be able to stick to the diets (have looked online) I'd have a bad week, and not go.

I appreciate the suggestions but I do have an inkling of what would work, counselling would be a waste of time and money. It has to come from me.

PuntasticUsername Tue 11-Oct-16 20:00:48

I'm sorry to be blunt, but if you could sort this out yourself you would have done so by now.

You need and deserve outside help and support with this, and it is absolutely alright for you to ask for that.

CeCeBloomer Tue 11-Oct-16 20:01:07

Over eaters anonymous meant to be really good, I know a couple of people who have been really helped by the group setting, it's an addiction like any other

ClopySow Tue 11-Oct-16 20:01:07


DereksGotATail Tue 11-Oct-16 20:01:14

You've been like it for years, you can't stop. You obviously can't sort it yourself so you must seek help elsewhere.
Why won't you see a GP, have counselling or go to a slimming club? Have you had a bad experiences with them?
MN can't give you motivation. You need to want to do this for yourself.

GeorgeTheThird Tue 11-Oct-16 20:01:27

You're not going to magically find the willpower without outside help. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. So - GP? Counsellor? WW? SW?

Boundaries Tue 11-Oct-16 20:01:49

You have what sounds like a serious eating disorder.

What do you think would work?

oneaddiction Tue 11-Oct-16 20:02:36

I'm not going to my GP, I'm not going for counselling, and I'm not joining a slimming club.

I'm sorry if people don't like those answers but that's how it is. The only person who can sort it, is me.

PuntasticUsername Tue 11-Oct-16 20:02:45

"counselling would be a waste of time and money. It has to come from me"

OK, you need to find out more about counselling if that's your impression of how it works smile counselling doesn't mean anyone else coming up with answers for you, it just means you have an expert to help you find your own answers. You still do all the hard work, believe me!

GeorgeTheThird Tue 11-Oct-16 20:03:02

Also - it sounds as though you don't live alone. How on earth do you have no food in the house? And how does this affect the rest of the family?

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