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to think DH and his friend are out of their tiny minds?

(117 Posts)
permanentlyexhaustedpigeon Tue 11-Oct-16 09:34:30

DH has a good friend who lives at the other end of the country. They try and visit each other a few times a year. Friend is also married and has two DCs - a four year old and an 18 month old.

Last week, we discovered a major leak in the bathroom that has put both it and our kitchen out of action. There is concrete dust and industrial dehumidifiers everywhere; it is possible to take a shower and use the loo, but you have to step over a dehumidifier and a hole in the floor first. The living room is full of white goods while the kitchen dries out, and DH, DD and I can just about manage to squeeze in there for our meals (not easily). DD's homework is having to be done at the local library as there is really no room anywhere else in the house. The insurers have advised that the dehumidifiers need to be in place for another week before we can start doing any work on repairs.

Some time ago, DH arranged for friend and his family to stay at the weekend - before the leak. Apparently friend and his family are still coming - DH has told friend about the house situation and apparently 'they're fine with it'; DH reckons the four of them can fit in the spare room (which has our kitchen cupboards in it at the moment so the door doesn't shut), and there's no need to worry about a very mobile 18 month old as 'he's sure that everything will be fine'.

It seems inhospitable to insist they stay in a hotel, but I really can't share DH's (or friend's) optimism - and if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be hotfooting it to a Travelodge faster than a speeding bullet rather than keeping an eye on an active toddler in a building site.

AIBU to think they're both insane?

FauxFox Tue 11-Oct-16 09:36:17

YANBU - can you not stay in the travelodge with them too and have a break from the chaos?

Imnotaslimjim Tue 11-Oct-16 09:36:20

They're absolutely bloody nuts! Either they postpone or find somewhere else to stay. It's simply not safe for young DC

sparechange Tue 11-Oct-16 09:36:45

Absolutely insane!
Local airBNB? Travelodge? Can you go to them? Can you meet halfway in a travelodge?
Even a tent in the woods seems like a better idea than theirs, and I despise camping

useyourimagination Tue 11-Oct-16 09:36:48

Take lots of photos and send them to the friend and friend's wife - it's possible DH has downplayed how bad it is.

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Tue 11-Oct-16 09:38:16

I would send the friend (and his wife/partner) some pictures of the house and let them decide what to do.

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Tue 11-Oct-16 09:40:55

I've assumed your DH's friend is a man - oops. Anyway, and pictures to the family!

BantyCustards Tue 11-Oct-16 09:41:28

Good grief YADNBU!

It will be hell on earth for the weekend. I'd be gently but firmly putting my foot down and telling him to rearrange for another time

EdmundCleverClogs Tue 11-Oct-16 09:43:15

Definitely off their rocker. I agree with sending photos, but would also add 'as you can see, it's just not possible for us to have guests on a building site - will you be getting a hotel or shall we rearrange?'. Make it clear that staying really isn't a good option for anyone at the moment.

Jinglebellsandv0dka Tue 11-Oct-16 09:44:48

Call his wife and tell her not to come. Tell her how bad it is and you also are not up to it.

My Dh and his mate do shit like this, I just nod along then call his mates wife and actually discuss if it's convenient or not.

Ausernotanumber Tue 11-Oct-16 09:45:28

Can you ring the friend and explain exactly what it's like?

flanjabelle Tue 11-Oct-16 09:46:37

Yanbu at all. Fuck no it would be awful.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 11-Oct-16 09:46:40

I would contact them myself, and rearrange, noway. What the hell is your dh thinking! Silly men, really some men really don't think.

LyndaNotLinda Tue 11-Oct-16 09:48:35

Just say no, they can't come.

Why do you have to send photos? It's your home too. If you don't want visitors - for any reason at all - then you are entitled to cancel them.

By all means, tell your DH they're welcome to visit if they stay elsewhere but you really don't need to make your case.

merrymouse Tue 11-Oct-16 09:48:37

Completely, completely insane.

Even without your current problems, children that age in a new environment can be a problem. (Have memories of staying in and visiting houses where it was assumed that DS wouldn't climb or open doors).

The best you can hope for is a miserable weekend with everyone constantly on edge, the worst is that something really horrible happens.

PlumsGalore Tue 11-Oct-16 09:49:25

I would be incensed that DH hadn't just cancelled and sent pictures of the mess. How on earth can you entertain people and keep up with the mess in that situation.

They are not insane for coming, you are insane for letting them.

Blueskyrain Tue 11-Oct-16 09:49:29

As long as everyone knows what it's like (the photos are a good idea), and are all ok with it, then I wouldn't try and stop them personally.

Callipygian Tue 11-Oct-16 09:50:39

Facetime with them so that they can see the extent of the chaos.

Lenazabaglione Tue 11-Oct-16 09:51:01

Madness. Just don't.

cathaka15 Tue 11-Oct-16 09:54:48

Absolutely definitely a massive no no.

merrymouse Tue 11-Oct-16 09:56:52

As long as everyone knows what it's like (the photos are a good idea), and are all ok with it

The OP knows what it is like and is not OK with it. It is her house. No more discussion necessary.

camena Tue 11-Oct-16 09:58:00

No no no. Dealing with house problems of that magnitude is bloody stressful, why would anyone want to add more stress to the mix??

ZuleikaDobson Tue 11-Oct-16 09:58:08

Ask him whether his friend and friend's wife know that they would have to cope with an active toddler in a bedroom with a door you can't close, a bathroom with big hole in the floor, and concrete dust everywhere. It's a recipe for disaster.

Bagina Tue 11-Oct-16 09:59:15

Horrendous. Just say no. Surely a win win solution would be to go to them instead?

dowhatnow Tue 11-Oct-16 10:02:19

I'd ring the wife and cut the silly men out of the loop.

<only half joking about the silly men>

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