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to dislike all social occasions?

(11 Posts)
fiendishfancy Tue 11-Oct-16 00:41:05

I just pretty much don't like all formal social occasions and even informal ones when there are more than about 5 people invited. I dislike weddings especially (pantomime like in my eyes) to the point that while I'd be happy to be married to my partner of 20 years I just can't face any sort of wedding. I don't like anyone elses wedding either I don't like getting dressed up, all the people, all the waiting around and forced socialising. I just want relax and chill out at home with my boyfriend or alone or with a few close friends.

I think my family believe I have social anxiety but I don't feel anxious at all just bored. The family and friends I see at such parties I don't see often and so its just sort of meaningless small talk bollocks.

It is unreasonable to dislike social occations so much?

CaoNiMao Tue 11-Oct-16 06:26:27

YANBU. I don't love them myself, but to function as a human being in the world and society, you just have to bite your tongue and battle through.

phillipp Tue 11-Oct-16 06:35:02

Yanbu. I have Aspergers. However I do feel that some things have to be atteneded. Because that's what we do to maintain relationships.

Not wanting your wedding to be a social occasion, isn't a reason to not get married. If you don't want to get married that's fine. But saying it because you don't want all the usual wedding stuff, isn't quite accurate.

Book the registry office and do it in your jeans if you want.

cariboo Tue 11-Oct-16 06:50:13

I don't like social gatherings much either but usually enjoy myself once I'm there.

annandale Tue 11-Oct-16 06:59:35

It's not unreasonable to hate big occasions - my dh is the same in a way. But one of the reasons i like a big party is that it's an efficient way to catch up with a lot of people I don't see much of. I guess it's meaningless small talk, but to me it's finding out what they have been up to in the last X years, plus updates on all their children etc. It takes much more effort to stay in touch with people one by one.

NicknameUsed Tue 11-Oct-16 07:05:49

DD hates large social gatherings, but she suffers from social anxiety.

Weddings don't have to be large formal affairs, just grab 2 witnesses and book a registry office, and get married in your scruffies. Or are you just using this as an excuse to not get married?

ForalltheSaints Tue 11-Oct-16 07:05:52

YANBU- I dislike work ones especially as I like to have time for home life.

KateInKorea Tue 11-Oct-16 07:19:18

I think YAB a bit U.
Disliking social occasions is one thing, but you do seem to have allocated yourself a sense of moral superiority along with it, which is frankly unwarranted.

Taking the "Pantomime" example, it's OK for your wedding to do what you want. But, it is actually horrible to take the shine off others' weddings by making disparaging remarks like that, at any time. That's rude and disrespectful.

I would further add that if you have children growing up in an environment where Mummy will piss on you chips at the drop of the hat doesn't like social occasions, it will spoil their social interactions. (Presumably any excuse not to have a birthday party)

Ask yourself whether you would spoil your own child's wedding by making those sort of eye-rolling comments? Can you really not find it in yourself to be even slightly gracious about other people participating in a normal part of society.

NicknameUsed Tue 11-Oct-16 07:20:42

KateinKorea has a point. When you have children you have do do things you don't always want to do. It isn't all about you.

Lessthanaballpark Tue 11-Oct-16 07:26:56

YABU and YANBU. I love big social occasions if it's family or friends I know well but I find it hard to make small talk with people I don't know.

Having said that it's not really small talk if it performs a function: that of getting to know people you might become friends with and if I hadn't gone out and braved it I wouldn't have some of the lovely friends I do now.

The best way to socialise IMO is in a class or a club because you've come together to learn which takes the pressure off the socialising plus you have something in common.

Lessthanaballpark Tue 11-Oct-16 07:27:52

But I hear you about the weddings. They do feel terrifying and dressing up sucks.

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