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I never want to go out

(14 Posts)
RollupRollup123 Sat 08-Oct-16 13:45:52

DH has a social life and I used to. When we met I was ALWAYS OUT. Late, and enjoyed my wide circle of friends.
A decade later and I'm stagnant. I'm a SAHM. He's home after 8 on a good day, often 11:00 and sometimes really late.
I hate going to bars, art openings, late night events. I dislike mingling in social situations. I'm tired, awkward and can't think of what to say.
DH invites me, but I literally dread the event for days before, find an excuse not to go and stay at home sad on my own. I'm jealous and insecure and unhappy.

Sparklesilverglitter Sat 08-Oct-16 13:51:48

When was the last time you went out and had a really good time? Can you remember

Maybe as you've got older your tastes have changed, I know mine have. So maybe you need to look as what you like now?

Do you do any clubs with your DC? I have just become a SAHM after having my first baby and now DH is back to work after paternity leave I miss my work and adult company so I go to a mum and baby morning, and I joined the mum and baby walking group in the park.

You just need to get back in to social situations, I think when you stop going you kind of forget and it becomes fear of the unknown again

RollupRollup123 Sat 08-Oct-16 13:55:25

I'm fine in the daytime and do loads of kids clubs. I'm also ok with people I know. It's all the nighttime social stuff. I literally dread it.

Allthewaves Sat 08-Oct-16 14:35:07

Could u start small and set a tar get to go out with dh once a month to something he has invited you too?

Sparklesilverglitter Sat 08-Oct-16 14:46:37

Starting small is a good idea.

Maybe pick something your DH has invited you to that you like the sound of and treat yourself to something new to wear or a haircut to feel good

LadyMonicaBaddingham Sat 08-Oct-16 14:48:35

Just a night out on your own as a couple to start small and build from there..?

5moreminutes Sat 08-Oct-16 14:50:55

Do you actually want to start going out in the evening? I'm not sure it's compulsory is it? If you don't want to socialise in the evening and do enjoy daytime socialising that is fine surely? Am I missing something?

Or is it about your relationship with your DH?

TheField65 Sat 08-Oct-16 15:04:48

Why should you force yourself to do things you don't want to? My parents hardly ever went out in the evening when I was young, and since dd was born 8 years ago, I've been out possibly 7 or 8 times. I'm really not that interested and frankly am too tired by 8 p.m. to then get dolled up and go out on the town for another few hours. The next day is then a bit of a nightmare because I'm tired, irritable and headachy.

I agree with 5moreminutes. Being an evening social butterfly is not compulsory. If you don't like it, don't do it.

NameChanger22 Sat 08-Oct-16 15:10:31

You don't have to go out. I don't think you should force yourself to do something you don't like, life is too short for that.

I haven't been out for 7 years, mostly because I don't like it. Instead I have friends round for dinner every week or we go to their houses, plus we do loads of stuff in the day.

donajimena Sat 08-Oct-16 15:15:23

I do go out as I have a particular interest which involves 'nights out' but if I wasn't attending one of these I'd be happy staying in too!
I have no desire to go to a pub/club or concert whatsoever. I'm fine with that.
Is it a problem? Does your husband feel bad that you don't join him?

formerbabe Sat 08-Oct-16 15:41:53

What about just going out you and him in the evening? Dinner or a trip to the cinema for just you as a couple?

Jackiebrambles Sat 08-Oct-16 16:16:46

How old are your kids? Is it about having something to wear?

I dreaded going out in the evening at first after having my kids as all the clothes I owned looked so shit!

But it isn't compulsory to go out of course.

RollupRollup123 Sat 08-Oct-16 19:10:03

Yes it's about relationship with DH. Know I don't have to go, but it feels like we lead seperately existences. I wish he didn't want to go, so that we were on the same page.but he does. I feel like a bore. My kids are 10 and 6.

RollupRollup123 Sat 08-Oct-16 19:10:37

My tastes have changed.

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