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To be offended at my dad's comments?

(21 Posts)
mayaswellbebridgetjones Fri 07-Oct-16 22:03:05

I've just been round to my dad's and I'm a bit pissed off at the conversation we've just had

I'm 23, just graduated from university and doing a masters degree at a top university (not bragging just relevant) and the cheeky bugger has just semi - had a go at me because I'm still single

Despite the fact I've just broken up with boyfriend of 5 years he told me "well its all very well and good but when are you going to get married and have children?"

I laughed at first but I think he was serious [sceptical] AIBU to be miffed?

mayaswellbebridgetjones Fri 07-Oct-16 22:03:54

duh meant to put hmm

Ohyesiam Fri 07-Oct-16 22:04:46

He is very insensitive and out of order, but it's nothing to do with you, just a reflection on him, so don't let it wind you up.

BewtySkoolDropowt Fri 07-Oct-16 22:06:13


My mum tried something similar with me when I was about the same age. Didn't make grandkids come any sooner.

Your life, your choices. Better to be single than have kids with the wrong someone just because they are there.

SabineUndine Fri 07-Oct-16 22:09:48

Yeah, I had this one from my father when I was 27. It's an insensitive bloke thing. Convo with my father went as follows

'Why are you 27 and still single?'
'It's none of your business.'
'It IS my business'
'No, it's not'
stony silence

Funny, he never worked out why he didn't see me very often.

MapMyMum Fri 07-Oct-16 22:32:53

Deep breath and ignore it, unless he says it again, in which case tell him its hurtful and unnecessary. I think its an older generation thing, but he needs to learn to get with the times

IWasGintyMarlowe Sat 08-Oct-16 00:40:03

that seems rather insensitive of your dad. and you have plenty of time still if you did want marriage and kids. and if you don't then that is up to you. not his decision to make.

NovemberInDailyFailLand Sat 08-Oct-16 00:50:06

Gosh, in your situation I would just laugh out loud and say how awfully old-fashioned he was smile

Tumtitum Sat 08-Oct-16 00:53:17

When my mum used to say similar to me about having kids I used to tell her that I could quite easily go out and get myself pregnant if she was so desperate for grandchildren... wink

SallyR0se Sat 08-Oct-16 01:03:49

I don't think it's an older generation thing... Neither of my parents has ever mentioned boyfriends or babies to me. They've never commented on my husband, either. When I told Dad that I was getting married he asked if I was happy with my guy. I said yes, he just nodded.
I think it's just different personalities / parenting. I've have friends whose mothers nagged them about marriage / babies. Settling down, as it were. It's not something that would be on your radar at 23... Good luck with your studies!

Lorelei76 Sat 08-Oct-16 01:28:14

Oh dear
Does he think women are only supposed to get married and have kids?

Beeziekn33ze Sat 08-Oct-16 03:41:38

Try to ignore him, you've got plenty going for you and your whole life in front of you!

hesterton Sat 08-Oct-16 03:47:55

Parents have done this to their adult children for years and years all over the world.

Laugh at him and ignore.

RhodaBorrocks Sat 08-Oct-16 04:56:40

Wow. HIBU. How nice of him to reduce his daughter to a walking womb.

My parents have never once asked me or my DSis when we're getting married or 'giving them grandchildren'. DS was unplanned, but I've never been hassled either way. Their parents didn't hassle them either, both were late babies, me and DSis were late babies, it's just how we do things in my family - I was the youngest Mum in 3 generations and still older than you are now!!!

TheNaze73 Sat 08-Oct-16 07:51:16

Just tell him casual sex & dogging are your thing.


acasualobserver Sat 08-Oct-16 08:10:46

You can take offence or take the piss. The latter is more satisfying.

softboiledeggs Sat 08-Oct-16 08:21:19

Aren't people strange, my first serious boyfriends mother told me not to bother to go to college/university I was about 17 and she said I'd be pregnant by the time I was 21 (as she had been ... it was inevitable) and I should just get a job and support her DS going to college as he would get the better job and provide hmm
She was a character, sounds like your dad is too.

amusedbush Sat 08-Oct-16 09:38:38

It's not necessarily a generational thing. I'm 26 and don't want kids. My mum says 'stick to your guns, having kids is shit' 😂

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst Sat 08-Oct-16 09:48:03

OP, your dad seems to have an odd attitude about women if you're only 23 and he's wanting you to marry and have kids.

He must be around my age or a bit older (48 next week grin), and yet the attitudes are so different to those in my family.

Of all my cousins and I, I was the youngest to have a child. At the age of 31.

We've all had late babies, and no-one was nagged to have them earlier.

If he says anything again, just echo a pp and say it's none of his business. Go and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

TaterTots Sat 08-Oct-16 09:53:56

I would have thought 23 was very young to have kids these days. But in any case, it would still be your decision, not his, regardless of your age.

Musicaltheatremum Sat 08-Oct-16 11:14:13

My daughter is 23 and has been single for a couple of years and never had a long term relationship. She has loads and loads of friends male and female and is quite content. It's still young. (Mind you I married at 23 but didn't have her til, I was 29.) enjoy yourself OP.

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