New au pair staying out all night!

[LoisEighty]

AIBU to be a bit concerned?

Au pair is young and only arrived this week - went out this afternoon and has texted to say she's staying out all night.

[ChiefClerkDrumknott]

Is she supposed to be working? If not, nothing to do with you

[louisejxxx]

I don't think so as long as it's not interfering with the hours she should be working? She may be staying at a boyfriend's/friend's.

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

Who did she go out with earlier? Has she got some friends already here? Or did she meet a couple of people this week - and is crashing there?

[ChequeOff]

What is it that's concerning you OP?

[LoisEighty]

Don't think it's as simple as saying it's nothing to do with me Chief, she's a young girl in a foreign country, she's not been away from home before and I have a responsibility towards her.

[ilovesooty]

She's let you know that she's staying out so I can't see the problem unless it impacts on her work.

[ChequeOff]

How old is she Lois?

[LoisEighty]

Iguess - she has met one other au pair this week and has gone out with them.

[LoisEighty]

She's 18.

[Pickled0nions]

Oh my god she's not your daughter give her space she's probably checking out the place if she's never been here before.

[NerrSnerr]

Do you really have responsibility for a grown adult who lives at your house? She told you what she's doing so I don't see a problem, I bet she's just staying at a friend's house so she doesn't have to get back late.

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

I imagine she is staying at her friends house. Drop her a text to say have a good evening and tomorrow when you speak to each other just mention that if she wants to stay out over night that's fine but maybe she could drop you a message in the morning to let you know all is well.

I am a nanny and would have no problem texting my boss after a night out if it made her feel happy.

[LoisEighty]

Nerr - she might be a grown adult, but only just. She's in a new country and has gone out with someone she's met once before, to a city she's never been to before, so yes I do feel some responsibility towards her!

[Akire]

Agree she's 18 she's let you know so you don't worry. She's with a friend, though if she just went out and went back to a blokes place I'd be more worried if language or knowing where she was a problem.

Treat her like adult going off to uni of courses she's going want to do young student things, even though she also staying and working with you.

[FourToTheFloor]

What were you doing at 18 OP? She's fine, she minds your dc, she isn't one of them.

[LoisEighty]

She's with a new 'friend' that she only met briefly for the first time this week though, not someone she knows well.

[LagunaBubbles]

So what do you want to do OP? Drag her back? She's 18. She's let you know she won't be back. That's more than some teenagers would do!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I'm with you OP. Only just an adult.

[CheckpointCharlie2]

With you too op, I would be concerned too but not much you can really do.

[ErnesttheBavarian]

When I was 18 I didn't feel like a grown adult at all! I agree she has the right to a social life bit understanding OP feels responsibility towards her. Is she supposed to be working tomorrow? Is good that she texted but I would not be at all happy.

[LoisEighty]

I know I can't drag her back, I'm just a little concerned.

I'm sure plenty of posters with 18 year old daughters would feel a little concerned if they went abroad for the first time and a few days in were staying out all night in a strange city with people they just met.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Only 'just' an adult, happy to trust her with your child/ren but not to make a decision on staying out of she wants? I think you need to back off.

[Mojito6]

I totally get your concern I think it's Actualy decent of you to be so concerned however I'm not sure what, If anything, you could actually do

[ThatsWotSheSaid]

She 18. By the time I was 18 I had been living on my own for two years. It's non of your business what she does IMO.