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AIBU ... setting personal goals for my 50s?

(26 Posts)
anyhue Fri 07-Oct-16 20:52:20

In the not too far future I'll be entering that decade (mixed feelings about that, mostly on the negative side to be honest). After a difficult time on my late 30s, as part of recovery I set some personal goals my 40s ... It gave me somethings to focus on my personal development, well being, achievement, etc.

Looking back I'm so happy with the 40s results (even if everything did not happen/work out) that I should try again for 50s.

To add some context: I'm happily married, older teenage kids, working in a good job, financially comfortable (but with mortgage).

Any suggestions for personal goals for someone in 50s? Things to do/try for an individual development (as opposed to family centered stuff)?

When I discussed this in RL (two of my friends I know are here) they just laughed hmm

strongandlong Fri 07-Oct-16 20:55:08

Really interesting idea. What were your goals for your forties?

How about studying?
Competing in a sport?
Professional goals?
Learning new skills?
Writing a book?

Destinysdaughter Fri 07-Oct-16 20:56:46

You're going to be 50, not dead!

Health and fitness is more important in your 50s as things start to break down so yoga, weight management etc

Anywhere you would like to visit in the world? Some place far flung perhaps

Being creative? Pottery, painting, learning the guitar

Languages? A course in something you're interested in tochallenge you, keep your brain active and meet new people.

Just a few for you, great idea, will have to think about my own!

pontificationcentral Fri 07-Oct-16 21:00:10

I have two professional acquaintances that set up a 'fittest by 50' blog. They are both now in their fifties but still run the blog as a way of empowering women into an active and healthy lifestyle (with strong feminist leanings). Both are philosophers. I think it's called fit feminist and fifty, or something like that now.

I think everyone should review their personal goals periodically. No matter what age.

pontificationcentral Fri 07-Oct-16 21:03:20

MIL decided at 60 that she would like to learn to play the piano. So she booked lessons. We had to talk her out of learning to snowboard at 70 (she broke her pelvis playing tennis the year before) but she still skis every year.
Dh has been whining about learning how to make stained glass stuff for a decade, so last Christmas I booked him lessons.

And I have just gone back to school. grin

The world is your oyster!

Me2017 Fri 07-Oct-16 21:05:47

It is very hard to generalise. I am there now and it's great. Teenagers will be off to university soon. My aims are to remain healthy (I am just about never ill) and happy; I would like to increase my income (as will be fewer obligations with children). I don't think we can set these for you as everyone is different.

drspouse Fri 07-Oct-16 21:18:36

Interesting idea. I'm nearly there myself, but started my 40s with no idea if I'd be able to achieve what I really wanted (DCs - and to get somewhere, anywhere, in my job). So I didn't dare make goals because I thought they wouldn't happen.
I think what I'd really like to do is leave my geeky, well paid job and do something arty, but even in my best craft (sewing) I couldn't make more than minimum wage. I am doing up a room at the moment though in a bit of a new style for me and having a blast.
I love learning languages and I want to improve one of my languages but I've lost a bit of confidence so maybe that.
I'd love to make some more friends locally (I have a nice little bunch of baby group friends but DC1 has just started school and we're a bit scattered - really don't know how to get an "in" at the school.
I am usually on a get fit kick and am reasonably healthy but would like to get my asthma under control, I was diagnosed in my mid 40s so have not really got a handle on it.

KC225 Fri 07-Oct-16 21:22:42

My new years resolutions used to be as follows:-

Read 12 books a year
See 12 films at the cinema ever year
Do five things I have never done before ie going to a football match, doing a cocktail making afternoon, llama trekking, planting a box of bulbs on some scrubland. Eating cockles from a van. Can be big or small.
And visit one place I have never been before could be near, far or abroad.

I would write the year and list the films, books, things and places on in page. Makes me smile when I re read it. When the children are older, I shall do this again.

Good luck with your goals OP

drspouse Fri 07-Oct-16 21:25:16

I love those resolutions! I have a book diary that I use to record books I've read (just name and author), maybe should try and do the same for films...

strongandlong Fri 07-Oct-16 21:29:59

Fit is a feminist issue is the blog, pontification. I love it. Very inspiring and thought provoking.

greenfolder Fri 07-Oct-16 21:32:29

I think it depends on what you have done so far.
Our plan is to be mortgage free by 50. 50s will be spent having lots of holidays and experiences we didn't do when young as we had kids in our 20s then another late 30s.

Dontpanicpyke Fri 07-Oct-16 21:32:36

Oh op difficult one.

I am 51 and had to give up a successful business to help my dad care for mum with altzimers.

My kids range from 26 to 16 dam those bloody gaps grinso helping my oldest with child care 3 days a week and still there for my teen who will need uni help with living accommodation.

having my gorgeous grand daughter 3 days a week now too.

I see it's not going to be about me and dh for years and years or until we die.

Love it in one level but it's exhausting to be the 'go to' person for everyone from 82 to 8 months.

Don't think I am alone

Rosamund1 Fri 07-Oct-16 21:35:28

Why should you not plan to live life to the full? Go for it. By making plans you are more likely to achieve what you set out to do.

Destinysdaughter Fri 07-Oct-16 21:58:06

I know someone who resolved to do one thing each month that was worth photographing and she then wrote about it. So things like meeting a celebrity, sky diving, going to a beautiful place etc. She eventually self published a book about it!

Hmm all these good ideas I'm giving others, maybe I should be doing them myself...!

Kasparprinceofthieved Fri 07-Oct-16 22:01:03

Interesting ... I'm in my early fifties and like the idea of this. Ideally I'd like to read at least a book a month, try new food, go skating more, learn to play an instrument ...

drspouse Fri 07-Oct-16 22:12:16

Oh I really want to learn to skate properly... And to tap dance... Maybe when both DC have started school...

Kasparprinceofthieved Fri 07-Oct-16 22:48:27

I used to ice skate as a teen, but haven't been for 25 years blush Need to go again!

dinosaursarebisexual Fri 07-Oct-16 22:51:58

For those wanting to increase the amount they read, try audio books. I put one on at every opportunity, even if it's just five mins while washing-up or whatever. Especially good if you're a non-fiction type like me. I rarely have time for sitting down to read, but ' read' a lot this way.

anyhue Sat 08-Oct-16 01:00:40

I was asked about 40s goals in thread, and also by PM, ... and to show my BW that I would actually post this (blush)

1. Running/badminton. Done! I was very active in sports until late 20s. Started that again, and it's been really great.

2. Spanish. Not done. A-level Spanish, worked in Barcelona for 6 months, love the culture, food, etc. Did some classes, but it's impossible unless I commit to travel there several times, no speakers or conversation groups I know locally, etc. Put on hold for now.

3. Orgasm. Had always enjoyed sex, but never actually .... A doctors visit to discuss, a referral, some basic tests, exercises, .... and got it! Anyone else in the same position please see your doctor, you don't know what you are missing. Life it too short to miss out.

LookingOldBeforMyTime Sat 08-Oct-16 01:44:39

Pleased to read "3. Orgasm".

Assuming you have a DP I suggest you encourage them to stay fit and healthy so you can have many more!!!

thefairyfellersmasterstroke Sat 08-Oct-16 01:46:54

YANBU! When I was approaching 50 I decided to learn or try one new thing every year. I was so excited to do it I thought, why wait till I'm 50? I started right away and so far have taken up and achieved a black belt in karate; learned Dutch; flown in a microlight; had archery lessons; gone to Uni and got a degree; learned picture-framing, researched my ancestry and started fencing classes. I've not decided on next year's thing yet, but do what you can, as soon as you can - you never know what's around the corner. I had a serious injury this year and have had to give up the physical activites so I'm so glad I did all these things when I did.

I used to tell my kids I want to do a bungee jump on my 100th birthday, but now I'm not so sure I'll be up to it. It would be a great way to go though! grin

justilou Sat 08-Oct-16 05:32:35

You're making me feel better about doing the same before I turn 45!!!

strongandlong Sat 08-Oct-16 08:21:57

Congratulations on your achievements OP! Especially number 3. Life is indeed too short flowers

I think there are websites that can put you in touch with other language learners for mutual practice via Skype etc, if you'd like to keep going with Spanish?

Destinysdaughter Sat 08-Oct-16 11:09:02

I'm 51 now but when I was 47 I went to India on my own for 4 months! I'd wanted to go ever since I saw Passage to India in the eighties. Got made redundant so thought it's now or never. Took a lot to organise but had an amazing time and don't regret it at all. It completely energised me and opened my eyes to so many things. Really need another big goal now, feel like I'm drifting.

anyhue Sun 09-Oct-16 14:31:04

Thanks for the suggestions and comments.

Based on those I think I really need to add one goal that is related to creativity. I don't consider myself very creative, but should try...

Anything can happen, it can be silly to try plan to far ahead in life, but I've found it very useful a decade ago, and will try again!

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