AIBU to go out tonight?

[pabstblueribbon]

My ex, dd's dad, was going to have dd either tonight or tomorrow night. He asked me which I'd prefer and I said tonight because I'm feeling a bit shit and could do with relaxing. He had volunteered to work extra tomorrow but cancelled it because he was shattered anyway.

So tonight I've decided to go for a couple of drinks with my brother and he's kicked off because I'm supposed to be knackered and unable to look after dd but I'm well enough to go out.

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

He asked which you preferred. You didn't need to tell him why.

[FauxFox]

Tell him to mind his own business, he should want to spend time with his DD anyway and what you do is none of his concern! Cheeky bugger!

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

What derek said. You gave too much information.

That said, when I feel knackered out by motherhood, the best reviving potion is often wine with grownups out somewhere that is not my house.

[pabstblueribbon]

I think he expects me to have an early night and put my feet up but I just fancy going out for a while and seeing my brother who I haven't seen for ages. God he does my head in.

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

What he expects doesn't mean shit

What you do when he has your daughter has fuck all to do with him

You could go out shag a rugby team, smoke a bit of crack and go sleep under a bridge and as long as you are back for your daughter it doesn't concern him

[ImperialBlether]

So does he never go out?

[BackforGood]

hmmm.
I'd like to hear his side.
Sounds as if - with work and everything - he'd have preferred to have them Saturday but you gained his sympathy saying you felt rough, then, you changed your mind and decided to go out. Not surprised he's peeved.
Would have been fine in the first place if you'd said 'Friday please, I want to meet my brother for a few drinks' or 'Friday please' {full stop}, but it doesn't sound like that's the way it is.

[Leaspr]

It's irrelevant to him what you do in your free time. He is being unreasonable. He isn't doing you a favour...She is his daughter too and he was going to have her one of the two nights anyway. You can unwind however the hell you like!

[Lilaclily]

Why did you tell him you were going out !

[Lilaclily]

Is it a recent split ?

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

Lesson learned.
Next time lie and tell him you are just on ironing your pj's

[e1y1]

Yes YABVVVU, how dare you even think you should get time off .

He asked you which night you preferred? And that is that.

He was having DD one of the 2 nights even if you were well enough to swim the channel.

Go out and have fun .

[pabstblueribbon]

Well I went out and had a good night. Don't know why I even explained myself to him in the first place, I hate how I still let him have a hold over me.

[YouTheCat]

Does he have to clear it with you if he fancies going out? Doubt it.

What you do when he has your child is nothing to do with him. Is it possible to have a set night that he has her so it becomes a regular thing?

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

Of course, YNBU. Hes her father. He's not a baby sitter. Its not like Hes doing you or has done you a favour by minding his own child.
Do you ask him what he's doing all week while dd is with you.

[BigChocFrenzy]

Expressing a preferance for which evening he looks after his child does not mean the OP has to be confined to the house.
Relaxing can be going out with family & friends
It's not like sick leave at work, where you have to be so ill you can't go out.