To think I have fucked up my career(89 Posts)
Name changed for this.
I started a new job 2 months ago and I’m sat here sobbing because its turned out so badly.
I was brought in to head up a department and take over from an agency who had been doing it. The agency were supposed to take a step backwards and allow me to direct them. But the owner is childhood friends with the owner of the business and they talk all the time, leaving me out of important conversations. Now they have decided 'we must all work as one', yet we are not even in the same building!
Since my first day barely any manager has spent time with me and I have been left to fend for myself. I haven’t been given a laptop or a phone, so my mobile bill has doubled. Other members of the team constantly undermine me and go behind my back doing elements of my job and I feel that I have no control.
The company are in financial difficulty and I am petrified I am going to be made redundant as there seems to much secrecy and game playing. I don’t feel that I have shown I can do a good job as the perimeters for my role are constantly changing.
I am 27 and I feel like I have messed up big time. I have lost all confidence and think I must be terrible at my job.
How can I move forward from this?
You need to get out as quickly as possible. Your CV should be pretty up to date. Can you start looking for a new job ? You can say that this company is in financial difficulty so you're uncertain about your future with them.
Did you come from another job, is that old job still available?
I would start looking, but you need to assert yourself.
If you can't even get the right equipment out of them to enable you to work, I can't see why people would respect you as a manager. You need to start pushing back on what your role is and making yourself visible and disciplining your team if they aren't co-operating with you.
No option to go back to my old role.
I can start looking for a new job but I am so so scared I will be sacked and in the meantime I have lost all my confidence.
Unfortunately, you either chose to give up or come out fighting until you find something else.
So what are you going to do about? I appreciate things are hard, but you are sounding like a total victim.
Just leave. Find another job and go. It is not likely to get better if they can't even be bothered to get it right at the beginning.
The job is what is wrong, not you.
You need to leave-stop stressing about why they won't get you a laptop, that is pretty irrelevant.
Get out as fast as you can before it saps your confidence any more!
Honestly, it sounds like a toxic environment. I seriously doubt you are the problem. Keep your head up, apply for every job going in your field, and get out as fast as you can!
start talking to whoever passes for HR at the company - if they aren't providing you with the training or equipment, the information or authority to do your job then that is bullying behaviour. You may as well sue them for constructive dismissal on the way out....or at least point out to them that you could.
I feel for you.
I have been told in the past by friends when I was young and didn't know how to end up in shit situations like this "get out" and they were right - I thought it was safer to stay though as I had no job to go to. I didn't realise how draining it can be to stay in something that's not working.
Your main problem is the friendship with the agency and it's one you can't solve. there is no way you can play this so you come out on top. Just leave.
Option A - call a meeting with senior people and explain you are resigning. Be very nice about it and offer to help out with "handover" etc. Just say that you feel that the role is different from how you thought it would be, but in a very non judgmental way. Get them onside for good references and perhaps even contacts to approach for new jobs, etc. Be direct about wanting to leave but don't let it be seen that you think they are a total shower.
Option B - just resign, keep it absolutely neutral and offer no explanations. Just "personal reasons".
Do not do any options B, C or D: crying, getting angry, blaming them for hiring someone and then ignoring them, etc, however fair all that would be. save that for us! Rant at us all you like.
Expense your phone bill.
You were competent enough to get the position. Update your cv and look for another position. Hard, I know to feel confident but most women are in the same situation and it's a matter of giving the appearance of confidence.
It's not You, it's Them.
You don't take on boar someone new and not give him/her a phone and a laptop, Esp at that level.
Yu don't ask someone to do a job but not include them in discussions where they have to be involved.
Please don't think that it is somehow you that isn't good enough. As PP have said, some employers are crap. It doesn't mean it's your responsibility.
look for another job now. You haven't fucked up your career Not at 27yo anyway .
Move on from that awful place and give the opportunity and the chance to another company to use your great capabilities.
You haven't messed up your career. Your career has barely started. Most of your life is in front of you. You can definitely recover from this. It seems awful and it is awful, but it is the sort of thing that happens. It's what makes people in their 40s and 50s seem so wise at work. They have survived this stuff. You will survive too.
You need a two pronged game plan:
1. Get out of the Mess
Companies are hiring like crazy now. Get your CV out there. Call up recruitment firms. Sell yourself. If no one is paying attention, it will be easy to get out to job interviews. If you can get into something new in the next three or four months, you will be able to drop this off your CV entirely after a couple of years in another role.
2. Learn from it
Take a step back and a deep breath. If you are too emotional and overwhelmed right now to cope, then imagine you are someone else, what would your hero (a super competent and confident person) do in this situation? Then do it. Others are right, you need to assert yourself. It sounds like you have nothing to lose. Use it as a real life master class in how to cope in the worst possible situation. Be brave and do it. If things don't work out, it's not your fault, it was an impossible situation. But by pushing yourself to deal with this stuff you will grow.
You haven't fucked up your career. For the sake of holding onto your confidence, I'd agree with other posters that you should leave as soon as humanly possible. You've been there such a short space of time, this isn't going to make any hole in your CV. You're not going to have to rely on them for references.
Don't let this drain your confidence. The faster you get, the better.
You wouldn't be sacked as you won't have done anything sackable - however if they want to cut costs then they'd just say you'd failed your probation. I'd suggest you jump before you get to that point. Update that CV and get out there!
It sounds to me as if they brought someone in to prove a point about the outsourcing, and you have been set up to fail.
In that case it says nothing about your personal ability. Chalk it up to experience, and leave with your head held high.
Spend five minutes tracking down the HR person and send them an email regarding you not having a laptop. Print said email. Walk over and tell them this is akin to constructive dismissal because you are not being given the tools to do your job.
Walk back to your office and start calling recruiters. Call someone from your old workplace and see if they have any open positions in other departments that would be suitable for you. Get on your phone to search for jobs on indeed.co.uk and send out your CV. Regardless of the outcome of the laptop for your current job that is not an opportunity you want to pursue. Do not worry one bit about this affecting your career. I and DH have hired plenty of people who have had this happen to them. All we look for is someone who has learned from it. I hope you have learned that you need to work for employers who are more financially stable and learned about the importance of the political environment you will operating in.
Also, at 27 you are on the young side to be heading up a department as normally I look for 10-15 years of progressive experience. It wouldn't surprise me if more experienced candidates backed away from this role. It isn't you, it is them. Do not let this affect your confidence.
It sounds terrible. Constructive dismissal isn't an option (you need 2yrs employment with them), so please don't mention it, you'll just look silly!
I agree broadly with everything else though.
Agree with others, at 27 you certainly haven't fucked up anything! They on the other hand.
Work should not make you feel sick with worry, After being in a draining job myself once my advice to anyone is to just leave immediately... you risk your own wellbeing and mental health staying there.
I don't understand why you have been brought in to head up this department if the owners are going to be all pally and make decisions behind your back. Who brought you on board to do this role? Surely someone made the decision to get you in rather than let the agency continue so where are they in all this? Leave if you like however I'd be inclined to get tough and start asserting yourself to people that you have been brought in for a reason and you will do the job you have been given. Stand tall, speak firmly and you will start to get people to listen, otherwise you are going to sound more and more like a victim.
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