Advanced search

Leaving DH to look after our baby??

(90 Posts)
SeenYourArse Fri 07-Oct-16 12:21:58

It's my friends hen night this weekend,means leaving at 10:30am Sat morning and returning 12:00 Sunday were going about 2 hours drive away from where we live in a coach 16 of us. Our baby is 4 months old and teething terribly,only suffers evenings until he falls asleep around 8-10pm depending how tired he is,once he's asleep he sleeps all night until 8am ish. Problem is he will only settle for me not daddy as he's used to me doing all the actual looking after him. Friend is very very poorly and prognosis isn't good at all so I really want to go (plus ive paid the £160 already) this is the first time I've left baby to go out at night since he was born. AIBU to go despite knowing daddy might have a rough evening trying to settle him?? I know I will feel guilty but can't help thinking if DH out more effort into his relationship with baby on a daily basis he would be easier for him but he leaves it to me as it's an easier life for him. My mum is coming with me or else she would look after him and he'd be fine for her he spends a lot of time with my mum we see each other most days. My dad will come round for a couple of hours in the evening until baby falls asleep to help DH and baby loves Grandpa. Should I go as planned or stay at home Incase he has a bad evening?? To add teething has started since it was all booked and we have baby ibuprofen and calpol to give him if he's really in pain (obviously following the guidelines on dosage etc)

IrisBlue15 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:23:19

Go! Have a wonderful time. See it as bonding time for them.

TheUnseenAcademic Fri 07-Oct-16 12:26:06

Definitely go. I've just done similar with a slightly older baby but with the added complication that she is breastfed and not keen on bottles! They will cope for one night, whatever happens, and it sounds like it's very important for you to go. Go and enjoy.

ayeokthen Fri 07-Oct-16 12:26:18

Go and have a ball! I get really frustrated by dads who "can't settle the kids". And what? We learned the hard way, so can they! My friend's DH is murder for this, he can't cope with the baby blah blah, meanwhile she's shattered and needs a break. I went through him, told him the only way to learn is to do it and took her out for the afternoon to let her relax for a bit. Enjoy the hen do, have a great time!

dalmatianmad Fri 07-Oct-16 12:28:09

Definitely go! The overnight break will do you good, the teething isn't probably gonna be bad for while yet and dh will cope, he will have to, I'm sure you manage day in day out, dh will definitely appreciate you more when he realises how difficult it can be!

Euphemia Fri 07-Oct-16 12:29:03

Go - DH will be fine!

Saltedcaramel2016 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:30:29

Yes, please go. It sounds like your husband could do with spending some time with your baby. Also, he has your Dad for back up!!!

Sounds like you will have a lovely weekend away. It will also make your husband appreciate what you do more;)

Notonthestairs Fri 07-Oct-16 12:30:37

I second Iris, Go! Your DH will cope. I know you think he won't but he will! Its his baby too!
I went to a wedding when my DS was four months - I got back very late (and was useless) so my DH had DS for 24 hours. He enjoyed their time despite DS having terrible evening colic. He also enjoyed everyone saying how marvellous he was (sigh).

Secretmetalfan Fri 07-Oct-16 12:31:46

Go. Your DH will be fine. He will have to be a dad and deal with what ever comes up. Start as you mean to go on. He needs to do his share, what will happen when you go back to work and he has to do more. Have a blast and prayers for your friend

NewStartNewName Fri 07-Oct-16 12:34:55

Go, but stop referring to DH/DP as Daddy ffs

Lweji Fri 07-Oct-16 12:36:07

Go. I did and DS was fine.

worriedmum100 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:36:17

Absolutely go!

arethereanyleftatall Fri 07-Oct-16 12:38:32

Go. Absolutely go.

If the babies father can't settle him, it's about time he learnt.

MrsSecker Fri 07-Oct-16 12:42:21


Ilovetorrentialrain Fri 07-Oct-16 12:47:10

Go definitely! The only time I'd consider not doing so is if you envisage problems with feeding (e.g. baby's never had a bottle before etc) but if that's not an issue I'd def. go. It might do them both a load of good to have this time together.

Chillyegg Fri 07-Oct-16 12:47:26

Bloody go.

Your DH is the kids father and needs to suck it up and look after his kid. Maybe it will illuminate how hard it is being a parent and might take more responsibility in the future. The baby will be fine. Calpol and bonjella exist. He will manage.

Sparklesilverglitter Fri 07-Oct-16 12:48:48

Of course go.

The child will be with his father, not some random. Dad will be fine

Vix17 Fri 07-Oct-16 12:48:48

Definately go, I thought this the first time I planned to go out but DH actually managed to get DD down quicker than I could and spent a lovely evening watching whatever he wanted on the TV! He has to learn, it might as well be now!

SheldonsSpot Fri 07-Oct-16 12:50:14


Stop encouraging and pandering to your DH's apparent inability to settle his child.

It's about time he learned and about time you let him learn.

imother Fri 07-Oct-16 12:50:51

Unanimous verdict!

foxtrotoscarfoxtrotfoxtrot Fri 07-Oct-16 12:51:18

When ds was 9 weeks old I was rushed into to hospital dangerously ill. DS was ebf and had never had a bottle. DH had to cope. He had no choice. It was fine. It made him step up as a father and they bonded in a way that DH never had the opportunity to do with dd. They are still incredibly close 2 years later.

You must go. It is only one night.

BluePancakes Fri 07-Oct-16 12:55:40

Definitely go.

And I don't know if you're BFing, but if you are, take at least double the number of breast pads you normally would use in that period. I went to my sister's hen night when my youngest was about 4mo and halfway through the night, I ended up leaking everywhere and had run out of pads, after discovering I can't hand express. blush

Have a great time.

PacificDogwod Fri 07-Oct-16 12:55:56


Do NOT feel guilty.

You should make sure that your DH gets regular time alone with your child - good for all 3 of you.
Have fun! smile

SnakeWitch Fri 07-Oct-16 12:57:40

It's only 1 night, if he does have trouble settling the baby he will cope! Have a great time, you need a break from doing all the work by the sound of it. Would he be as concerned if it were the other way around? YABU not to go!

Allatseainthemidlands Fri 07-Oct-16 13:06:58

Go- your husband will never learn to settle HIS baby if he never has to. He needs to start building that relationship now. And you need a night off! Enjoy yourself

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now