I have a friend who makes herself very at home at my house. I love having friends over for dinner/coffee and love for them to "feel at home" but my other friends seem to deal with the normal human boundaries fine unlike her.
She has in the past ripped open a perfume still in it's sealed packaging and sprayed it on. I was shocked but she acted like it was nothing. She had no idea if that perfume was okay to open, it could have been a gift for someone else, or about to be returned and it's rude in general to be open something the owner hasn't themselves surely?
If she comes over and I go to the bathroom/upstairs she makes herself really at home and starts going through the house "exploring" almost, really having a good look through things in a way that's less than appropriate, looking at and picking things up from places that are out of the way, helping herself to nice treats she finds (again that are still sealed) and eating them.
She once opened and started eating treat packs for a work event that were put away on a shelf in another room entirely along with work related things.
Of course someone helping themselves to normal food in my house is not an issue & I always lay on lots of snacks for people, too much most say, and they can help themselves to normal drinks and food around the kitchen, but surely if you see something put away properly (not out in the open) and a little special/specific you don't go out of the way to help yourself to it.
It's got to the stage where i'm afraid to leave her unattended in my house in fear of finding her with something else ripped open, looking at something private or chewing away at a gift I got for someone. I have to really go out of my way to hide private things like letters and work stuff more than anyone should have to, and last time even hid an expensive small box of chocolates I got as a gift before she arrived, which felt really childish and ridiculous, but damn it i already prepared lots of treats and tea for her & should be able to keep some things for myself!
She also invites herself over without making sure it's okay. Either just turning up herself without warning, or changing the plan for a group of us going out to saying she just want to hang out at mine instead.
I invite them to my house all the time but that's on my terms, this kind of behaviour and forcing things on me on the spot is extremely frustrating. Sometimes i'm just not in the mood to host, my house might be out of sorts, I might not have anything to offer them, my partner might be home and doesn't want to be kicked out of the only living room or I want to get out myself - a number of reasons I shouldn't have to justify myself! I put her off enough times with reasons like my husband's working in the living room or i'm already out, but can't keep doing that all the time.
Recently she did this when she knew I was at my parents house for lunch and turned up there which was SO weird and obviously completely disturbed our time together!
She doesn't act creepy when she's doing all this, she just finds it completely normal to breezily act like this and seems to think it's fine for her to do this at her friends and that's how friends act type of thing. Oddly enough I am completely convinced she would find it annoying if I did the same to her though as she keeps very obvious boundaries between friends and her family/home life, but I/we wouldn't want to behave this way to prove a point back to her and I don't think she would get it still.
Not really looking for advice as I know people would say to have a word with her or distance myself from her, but she's not a bad friend apart from these habits, just need to vent and ask i'm not being unreasonable for this getting on my nerves?!
AIBU?
To think it's unacceptable for friend to open things in my house?
user1470271524 · 06/10/2016 20:52
For some reason your description of your friend made me think of the character Daisy from 'Not Going Out'.
And no YANBU, quite frankly it's odd and I'd honestly hate having her round, she sounds like a toddler - having to hide precious things and constantly being on edge/having to be on your guard! At best I'd say it's probably because she feels that comfortable with you/in your home/wearing your perfume... 
On a side note, I'd unleash seven circles of hell on anyone who dares come into my home and helps themselves to my chocolates!
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