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AIBU?

To have got DS only 1 present for his birthday?

122 replies

AllenKey · 06/10/2016 16:20

DS turned 8 yesterday. We took him to see a film and then went out for dinner. His party is this Saturday.

He had a list of about 5 things. It came to a total of about £250. If I'm being honest, that's just too much - we wouldn't pay that much for 5 things.

However, we purchased his top wanted one.

He was happy about it, but seemed a bit sad about the lack of presents. I told him that he would get more on Saturday (from friends and family, etc.) and he was fine about it.

I was in work today and work colleague asked what I got him, I told them and they asked what else...

I now feel really mean about it Sad

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IAmAPaleontologist · 06/10/2016 16:21

Many presents do they need? I only get them one thing each, I'm confused as to why you'd get more!

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Wrinklytights · 06/10/2016 16:23

Yanbu. 8 is old enough to understand that you get 1 expensive thing or a few cheaper things. Ours only get one or two things for their birthdays. I think a lot of people go over the top for birthdays and are raising spoiled, entitled kids.

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NoCapes · 06/10/2016 16:26

Tbh I think that's a bit tight, just couldn't imagine handing over one present to my child on their birthday

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HerRoyalFattyness · 06/10/2016 16:26

My DC only ever get one present off me on birthdays. I don't see the point in buying absolutely loads and quite frankly I can't afford it. (I'm on benefits)
DS will be 8 at the end of the month. He is getting a new DS, which has a game preloaded, and because it was on offer, I managed to get him a case and another game too. We will have a day out to eureka (his dad will pay for it), and then have cake with family. He will get a present off my mum and one off my dad. That's it. He doesn't have many friends (he has 1) and his dad's side of the family don't like me so they tend to "forget" about him.

I don't feel mean, and don't understand why people buy so much and spend so much money on things that will probably end up sat in a box not being used.

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AllenKey · 06/10/2016 16:26

Thank you both Smile

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AllenKey · 06/10/2016 16:42

NoCapes, how many do you give? I could have given him about 5 smaller ones but only one of the things he wanted

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OnchaoFerngrass · 06/10/2016 16:46

One big present and one or two books here. Maybe some clothing/shoes but only if he needs it around his birthday! I think what you did is fine.

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cricketballs · 06/10/2016 16:48

only ever got DSs 1 present - I can't believe the amount of presents people post pictures of on FB just from the parents

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squoosh · 06/10/2016 16:48

I think one good present that he's specifically asked for is fine. Plus a trip to the cinema followed by dinner out. Plus a party at the weekend?

Plenty!

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Katinkka · 06/10/2016 16:51

I would have added a few small bits tbh.

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myownprivateidaho · 06/10/2016 16:51

I think the norm is to get more presents. No need to get everything on the list, but personally I think that maybe the one requested present could have been accompanied by a few smaller ones, to make it more of an occasion.

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Chasingsquirrels · 06/10/2016 16:52

I only do one present for birthdays (well and a big bar of chocolate or similar for a couple of quid).
Usually around £50-80 although it has been more and has also been less.

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NoCapes · 06/10/2016 16:52

Allen I don't have a set amount, it depends what they ask for/how much it costs/how big it is/how old they are etc

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aprilanne · 06/10/2016 16:56

probably one big present and few small things books .craft stuff something like that .but if you are happy with your way then why not

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Evergreen17 · 06/10/2016 16:56

Nocapes "just couldn't imagine handing over one present to my child on their birthday" Hmm you are being sarcastic right?!!!
I think the outing was lovely and one present plenty.
I dont want to raise my child to think more stuff = better or more of an occasion.
But then those are my values

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2cats2many · 06/10/2016 16:58

One present here plus a box of sweets and book or CD or something similar.

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Kitsandkids · 06/10/2016 16:58

One present from your mum and dad for your birthday used to be much more normal than it seems to be these days. I think it's fine. In my opinion the more (some) children get, the more they expect and the less they appreciate things.

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LittleLionMansMummy · 06/10/2016 16:59

Tbh I think that's a bit tight, just couldn't imagine handing over one present to my child on their birthday

What if it's a bike, PS4 or other expensive item?

Yanbu op. Ds is 5 and understands he won't get everything on his list and that there are plenty of kids in the world who get nothing.

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user1474627704 · 06/10/2016 16:59

Usually one main present and a couple of small, cheap things. Also we often make presents of things they would be getting anyway so maybe some clothes or new pyjamas, or football boots, whatever.

Whatever you think is right, you can afford, and makes you happy. Why compare yourselves to other families?

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NoCapes · 06/10/2016 17:01

Star for you Evergreen you're obviously a better parent than me!

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AppleAndBlackberry · 06/10/2016 17:01

He's old enough to understand you have a budget, but if he's used to getting bits and pieces then I might have prepared him in advance. I don't spend loads on my children but there'll usually be a few bits for under £5 as well as a main present for £30-£50. DD1 was just 7 and we gave her one Lego set, 3 paperbacks, a dressing up outfit and 2 mini TY beanies. All £3ish apart from the dressing up outfit and Lego.

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IEatLemonCurdFromTheJar · 06/10/2016 17:04

One main present is fine!
Maybe I'd also get a few extra one consisting of things he needs like some cool pyjamas, underwear and socks.
He's having a party too and will get more stuff anyway!
I think one is more than sufficient!

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5Foot5 · 06/10/2016 17:04

Is his name Dudley?

One present is fine - especially if it is a significant present.
We usually did one major present for birthday but at Christmas several medium to small things.

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NapQueen · 06/10/2016 17:08

I couldn't imagine handing over one single gift to my 8yo son. I hand over one single gift to friend and families kids sure, but I do like to do a little more for my own kids.

You didn't have to get him all 5 items - one for birthday and one for Christmas and maybe if the grandparents asked offer them suggestions from the remaining items.

But surely a box of malteasers, a book, a small gadget or box of lego, and some pj's wouldn't have broken the bank with such cheap places like Wilkos and Primark around.

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IEatLemonCurdFromTheJar · 06/10/2016 17:11

Those extra bits though, in certain he will get on Saturday from friends and family.

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