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To wonder what happened to my happy baby

(6 Posts)

Have DD 8 months. Over the last month she has turned from a mostly happy baby to one that constantly cries. I can't even go to the toilet without her working herself into such a state. She is still night feeding but this now takes over an hour to calm her down instead of a quick 10 minute feed (to add she has had some teeth come through in this time and new bedroom)
What could this be. I don't think she is in pain at the moment (but was when the teeth came through)
What could this be? I spend my day feeling like a terrible mum and I know I am being unreasonable about being stressed about this

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 06-Oct-16 09:41:14

I think this is classic separation anxiety, I agree it can be frustrating! She's realised that you are an individual and not just permanently in range to serve her.

One tip, play peek-a-boo games so she knows you are coming back. It's like they panic if you are out of sight. At this stage my DCs felt abandoned if I even nipped to the loo. The teething doesn't help if she's cranky anyway. When possible settle her with a toy in the room you're in. Keeping up a flow of commentary helps. If you are dealing with someone at the door, or transferring food from the oven or hot pans or clearing up a mess, just prioritise. It might mean for a couple of minutes you just let her scream. Don't make a big fuss every time you return. Sometimes you just have to let her mither until you can reassure her in person.

When you do have to go out and leave her with someone else, don't sneak off. Tell her you are going but you will come back.

I did wonder if it was separation anxiety. I do try and tell her what I am doing e.g. going to the toilet.
She is fine when she goes with my mum and my DP so there are other people she will go to. She gets very teary if someone else holds her though even if she can still see me in the room and I'm talking to her.

Can you get separation anxiety at night?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 07-Oct-16 10:31:58

Hi again yes quite often at night. I think they're so wired at this stage of development they wake up and want company. Settling herself may have come more easily before her teeth started coming along. The demand for a feed at night if they're on solids in daytime is often more about reassurance rather than hunger. Coupled with that your DD is still so young she's not independent and crying out is that cave man era instinct of alerting the tribe "Hello where is everyone? Come and get me!" If your DP is able to step in and soothe her that gives you a respite but if Only Mum Will Do then you are stuck.

So many factors and meanwhile you're struggling with broken sleep yourself. I would honestly re-post this on the Sleep threads in the Being A Parent section (or press Report and ask MNHQ to redirect it for you) because it has been a long time since my two were this age and I don't want to give you out of date advice on dropping the night feed/dummies/pick up and put down or shush and stroke, etc. The MNers on those pages are all in the same boat and will reassure you.

EllenRipley Fri 07-Oct-16 10:40:16

Agree, in the absence of any other issues, it's probably separation anxiety, my son was exactly the same at that age! I stopped questioning the behaviour change and just had to go with the flow. Their wiring and behaviour go through so many changes at that age, just when you feel you've got the measure of them their needs change. X

chocolateshortcake Fri 07-Oct-16 10:44:54

I saw your thread title and thought "I bet the baby is the age as mine"'s like a switch flipped at 8 months and he is not my happy baby!! Hoping he will make a comeback soon as it is knackering smile

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