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To not want to join family whatsapp group?

(18 Posts)
Knickersticker Thu 06-Oct-16 02:52:22

About 5 years ago, I joined Facebook (yes I know, awful thing that it is and I am no longer am on it) and was really upset to find out, after repeated attempts to "friend" my sister, that she had actually blocked me.

I was really upset but my mum told me not to be so sensitive and my older cousin also said that she could understand why my sister wouldn't want her younger sister on her Facebook page confused. FYI I was 25 and my sister was 27 so we were hardly children.

Fast forward 5 years and my mum, sister and cousin are part of a whatsapp group but I have never been invited to join.

After the FB fiasco though, I decided I didn't want to be part of anything like that again with my family so I didn't really care.

Recently my cousin has emailed me saying that she's been whatsapping my mum and sister and that she's like to add me to the group.

And I don't know what to do.

First of all, her email sounded like she was accusing me of not keeping in touch (it's true I hadn't but I had my reasons) and secondly I don't know if I want to stir all that up again.

I am LC with my mum and extremely LC with my sister. So I don't even know if they'd want me to part of the whatsapp group.

But I've now had 2 more requests from my cousin and I'm starting to feel pressure and also that I'm being an unfriendly bitch because I haven't joined the group yet.


Knickersticker Thu 06-Oct-16 02:53:47

Sorry for typos in my post, I'm on my phone and have fat fingers!

instantly Thu 06-Oct-16 03:01:33

Firstly, what wrong with Facebook?

Secondly, if you're LC with your mum and your sister I don't understand why you'd want to be in a whatsapp group with them?

MissMargie Thu 06-Oct-16 03:03:22

No for walhatever reason... you worry about internet security, you don't have time, you only do email, etc

TwigletsMakeMeViolent Thu 06-Oct-16 03:38:26

Why is your cousin so insistent you join, does she not know you're LC with your family?

Just say thanks but no thanks, I'll get in touch with them as and when I need to. You don't need to elaborate on that.

coconutpie Thu 06-Oct-16 03:51:05

Tell you cousin to mind her own business.

Rulerruler Thu 06-Oct-16 04:58:24

I'm in one (family group) and wish I wasn't - it all feels a bit fake and contrived - look at my good news type stuff - all a bit fluffy and light. I'd much rather get in touch with each family member individually. Not that I get in touch with them very often anyway!

It's probably much easier to just never join than try and leave.

ChickenSalad Thu 06-Oct-16 05:26:40

Just join but turn off notifications. You can read it when you want then but don't have to contribute.

Optimist3 Thu 06-Oct-16 05:42:03

Ask your cousin nicely if your mum and sister have said they are OK with you joining.

You could tell them your going to trial run it for a few months first before fully committing - see if it's your cup of tea. You expect it won't be but will give it a go. Opt out as soon as anything kicks off or you don't like the level of contact generally.

Optimist3 Thu 06-Oct-16 05:43:47

Yes tell them you are turning off notifications as you plan to look at them every so often.

ScaredAboutTheFuture Thu 06-Oct-16 05:52:28

Have you got it installed on your phone? Do you use it to contact other people?

If the answer is no, then say that your phone hasn't got enough memory to support the app.

UsernameHistory Thu 06-Oct-16 07:32:30

You could tell them your going to trial run it for a few months first before fully committing

I take it I'm the only one who wonders what the big deal is then?

It's only a whatsapp group. Join it or not (I would), what's the issue? It's digital communication, you're not moving in with them.

ChuckBiscuits Thu 06-Oct-16 07:39:49

But I've now had 2 more requests from my cousin and I'm starting to feel pressure and also that I'm being an unfriendly bitch because I haven't joined the group yet

'Hi Cus. Yes I read it the first time, but thanks for the info. Not my bag. But enjoy'.

Don't be railroaded into excuses, joining for a time, yada yada yada. Just don't do it.

FriendofBill Thu 06-Oct-16 07:40:31


Just say no thanks.

ladylanky Thu 06-Oct-16 07:44:32

Have you actually said "no" to her?
Or, as others have said just join and turn of notifications.

Shesgotelectricboobs Thu 06-Oct-16 07:47:22

Join it or don't. If you do just switch off notifications. You don't have to post anything.

blueturtle6 Thu 06-Oct-16 08:08:59

No don't do it. I'm a member of several WhatsApp groups and even though all different people they are passive aggressive as hell. I hate getting the messages but exit group would be rude. So wish I hadn't joined in first place.
If she want's to send same message to lots of people tell her to set up a broadcast list smile

ParForTheCourses Thu 06-Oct-16 18:02:17

Deny the requests op. They aren't what I'd call family if you are lc with them and they certainly aren't friends. If people add little or nothing to your life why would you invite them more into it?

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