To ask what you would do if you found school bully on Facebook?

[MoonStar07]

Through that annoying people you might know a girl that bullied me at school has come up. I'm bloody horrified to be honest and it's brought back horrible memories. This person pretended to be my best friend at school but spread malicious rumours, notes, writing things on walls but all the time making out she was my friend and even went as far as trying to help me find out who it was! It was emotional abuse at a high level she really messed my life up for a long time and I never knew it was her except when another girl told me as she found out. In my head I can't remember what happened I know I stopped talking to her (the bully) and then she left school. Once I found out it was her the bullying stopped but I would get awful looks from her around school. The school did nothing about it. From the looks of her Facebook profile she is a photographer in London now. Freelancing. She's all sweetness and light ...doing charitable stuff even had a display at the TATE. I know I shouldn't have stalked. I do feel bitter towards her she wrote some devastating stuff spread awful rumours. I don't want to contact her. But I hope she isn't pulling the wool over the eyes of the organisations she is working with. AIBU to be so badly affected by this. I feel awful

[JellyBelli]

I bumped into my old school bully in RL and she hadnt changed a bit! I was tempted to ask her if she was still demanding 10p from everyone but she hadnt recognised me.
Block her and move on. Dont waste any more energy on her.

[UnderTheGreenwoodTree]

I would click the little x and forget about her

I would then remind myself that it doesn't matter what this person thought about me at school, that bullies are usually deeply unhappy people, often treated badly by their own 'loved' ones, and that they often go on to do 'good things' in life because they know they have done bad in the past.

Hope you're ok, I know it must be painful to be reminded of her.

[MoonStar07]

Thanks everyone just a real real shock. She was so cruel. Looking back she was 15 I was 13-14 and she was so cruel and emotionally manipulative. I don't know how she learned those behaviours as a child. So messed up.

[UnderTheGreenwoodTree]

Plus, Facebook is never a realistic medium that you can judge a person's life on. Hope you feel better soon, she will not be as happy or successful as her FB profile makes out

[ChequeOff]

Really sorry to read that OP, it sounds bloody awful

FWIW, she sounds like she was either jealous of you or being abused herself and taking it out on you, or maybe both.

[moreslackthanslick]

My xh came up like that. Bleaaurggh! Blocked and forgot about it.

[WorraLiberty]

Block her and move on.

WRT 'pulling the wool over people's eyes', she may well have worked through her issues and perhaps she's a genuinely nice person now?

Either way, it's not going to do you any good to re-visit your awful memories of her.

[MoonStar07]

Thanks yes. Her face still haunts me. She's pretty but I still remember how she looked so vicious. I doubt she's changed. It was such vindictive behaviour. Just so clever and manipulative. I worked out a while after she liked a boy who liked me. When I was 14 he attacked me at school. Today I know this was a sexual attack he held me against a wall and rubbed his body on me. I don't know if he then made her do this to me as I wouldn't have anything to do with him and she fancied him and got some attention from him. the things she would write about me were sexual. Stuff I wasn't even aware of. So horrible. So much pain from that time it's something I haven't dealt with.

[Chocoholicmonster]

My ex best friend, turned school bully is the reason I left school at 14 & ended up with no GCSE's. It lead to two years of sheer hell in my life as if I went anywhere public & she was there she'd hurl abuse at me & bang on the car windows etc & it caused lasting anxiety & depression problems. (I've since rebuilt my life). She tried to add me on FB not long ago!! It just made me laugh. Don't waste too much thought on this person OP. Just block & move on.

[MoonStar07]

Chocoholic that's awful!

[M0nstersinthecl0set]

That sounds horrific. A (far less malicious) bully from my past got in youch via fb. So i know she's working for the bbc and appears to be feted for working with a few charities. Perhaps it's guilt? Or from a quiet life having pushed people away. Anyway, I decided to block her and not give her headspace etc.
I'm so sorry you went through such vile experiences!

[gabsdot]

A really nasty boy I went to school with appeared in my facebook feed last year because he had died.
I really didn't know how to feel about it. I hated him in school although he didn't bully me in the strict meaning of the word.
Obviously there were loads of lovely tributes to him etc which made me wonder and I felt sad for his family and his mother in particular.
But I couldn't feel sad for his death.

[fc301]

In no way am I defending a bully. But as a previous poster has intimated - where did she learn all this nasty / sexual behaviour?
It's possible she had her own personal shitstorm going on.
Face all these new (& old) feelings, recognise them, give them value, ask for professional help if you need it and try to move on.

[UnreasonableBehaviour]

This.

usual Wed 05-Oct-16 23:15:40
I think you should just block her FB and try and move on from it.

[sonjadog]

I´m sure it was a nasty surprise to suddenly see her like that again. But I hope after the initial reaction you will calm down and shrug it off. If not, have you considered asking for counseling to help you move on?

[MoonStar07]

I had moved on I think. I wasn't thinking about her until she came up as someone I would know. Facebook is terrible at times! Yes I do wonder now as an adult how she learned the behaviours. She was a big personality quite a controlling type. Attractive. Difficult time to just close the door on. Shocked me last night. I don't want counselling I don't want to deal with it really.

[AristotlesTrousers]

Oh gosh, MoonStar07, yes, just block her. I totally understand how seeing her must have knocked you for six. I was bullied at school too, and there was a reunion at the weekend. There's no way I could have gone, but was horrified to see that the guy who made my life hell for the last year was there.

Ironically, I blocked him a few months ago because seeing him on 'people you may know' made me angry, and occasionally he'd post something wanky on somebody else's time line, but unfortunately a few photos that he wasn't tagged in slipped through. It completely ruined my weekend, I can tell you, and I vented on MN too! Just remember that if there's any justice in the world, this girl's conscience will prickle her enough to give her the occasional sleepless night, and if it doesn't, well. you are 1000x a better person than her.

[Nakatomi]

I would move on.

I was bullied for years at school.

What you have to remember is that you are, always were, and always will be better than them. You were not the bully. You did nothing wrong. You were not the one getting pleasure from hurting other people. You were not the one who caused misery. They were. They may think they are better than that now, or that their job/wealth affords them respect but there will always be people who know what they are - evil and vicious bullies. You can go through your life knowing you were not a bully - they can't, no matter how much they try to forget.

[dingdongdigeridoo]

Facebook isn't a realistic picture of someone's life. You say freelance photographer, I think unemployed. Her life could actually be pretty grim, you just don't know.

The horrible girl who bullied me at school has a glossy Facebook profile describing herself as an entrepreneur. She sells Forever Living.