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To wonder why I'm being so jealous and silly about this

(65 Posts)
Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 22:51:44

Just been to dinner with close friend. She is engaged and very happy, I'm single, a few years younger (23) and sort of looking for someone.

I get my fair share of male attention but am fairly insecure about my looks. She is very pretty and we look similar (we're related), I'm attractive I'd say. (On a good day!)

Anyway as we were paying Italian waiter had a little bit of a joke with me and I laughed it off. He then came up to our table again to get bill and turned fully around to my friend and said "may I just say you are very beautiful" and she blushed/stuttered etc. I of course immediately agreed and said she was etc etc but a bit of me felt a tad jealous and silly blush I don't know why! I think it was the way he didn't even try and include me in the compliment, just felt a tad contrived somehow as if he was trying to make a point?! Anyone know what I mean?! I'm drunk-

SouthPole Tue 04-Oct-16 22:53:26

Yes, something here is certainly contrived...🙄

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 22:54:23

I would not normally overthink things this much. As mentioned I do often get quite a fair bit of attention (more so at the moment weirdly) but am feeling down about things and that is probably why. I do not begrudge my fruend her compliment, she deserved it but equally would have been nice if he could have said something sleazy to us both - we are fairly evenly well matched looks-wise (although she is probs prettuer!)

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 22:54:44

What does that mean south???

gettingbythistime Tue 04-Oct-16 22:55:07

I would have been hurt too op. I have had similar. I also used to be best friendselling with a girl who was very beautiful. I used to feel invisible when I was with her although oddly enough her beauty didn't bring get her happiness.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Tue 04-Oct-16 22:56:14

I think it's hurtful to do that. I would have been upset.

gettingbythistime Tue 04-Oct-16 22:56:35

Ignore bloody auto correct weirdness

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 04-Oct-16 22:57:42

I'm insecure about my looks. I don't think I'm attractive.

I don't get how you can be insecure but think you are attractive and get quite a bit of attention.

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 22:57:55

The thing is (without sounding too bighearted) I have recently been getting a lot of attention and don't think my friend and I look too dissimilar. I have very attractive friends too and have had the invisible feeling before, bit equally have been (occasionally) on the receiving end. Just a bit winded, I know I sound jealous and shalllow

gettingtherequickly Tue 04-Oct-16 22:58:21

Well that's unnecessary seen.
OP if you are 23 and consider yourself pretty then I'm sure that you are gorgeous.
And you know what seen if a 23 year old needs to hear that to feel good, where's the harm?

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 22:59:15

HarryPotter because i do get attention which makes me believe I am attractive. And I like certain parts of myself e.g. Facial features, hair. But 90% of the time I feel a bit ugly (go figure)!

gettingtherequickly Tue 04-Oct-16 22:59:20

south not seen
blush

MoonStar07 Tue 04-Oct-16 22:59:25

Is she your older sister? Is this sibling rivalry? Don't over think it. Like you said you get your fair share of compliments.

Pistachiois50pmore Tue 04-Oct-16 23:01:01

You're just having a bad self-esteem day. YANBU to be a very mild-eyeroll level of miffed but YABU to be any more upset than that.

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 23:02:02

My cousin actually. We look related but very different colouring-wise so don't look v similar

MiddleClassProblem Tue 04-Oct-16 23:03:36

Different people fancy different things. Even if people have the same face but a different nose/mouth/eyes whatever some people will fancy each version but not the others. It just sounds like he was hitting on her and hoping she would give her his number (does it ever work like that? Like when a guy in a car slows down to chat to you walking along etc what do you think we are going to dohmm?). If he had manners he would not just compliment one patron and not the other. Also good business sense.

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 23:03:38

I have been out for dinner with stupendously beautiful friend before and waiters have been very sweet and complimented us both, said how we both look great bla bla. I just don't get why this guy bothered. Feel like shit.

ChequeOff Tue 04-Oct-16 23:04:23

Sounds like the waiter wanted a nice fat tip. Maybe if you laughed off his earlier flirting, he thought he'd blown it with you and so turned full on charm offensive with your companion?

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 23:04:46

Yes middleclass but she's wearing a ring. Agree about the good business sense thing.

ChequeOff Tue 04-Oct-16 23:05:08

just saw that it was your cousin

MiddleClassProblem Tue 04-Oct-16 23:06:04

Ring shming he prob wanted a shag and maybe didn't even look at her hand.

I assure you there will be people who fancy you and not her.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 04-Oct-16 23:06:21

Well of course you were jealous.
This is a women who's already engaged to be married, and Now she's got Italian Waiters fawning all over her.
Every women wants to be the bell of the ball. No one likes the thought of someone else being seen as more attractive than them.
The scene Mirror mirror on the wall. Isn't so far fetched.

ChequeOff Tue 04-Oct-16 23:06:25

I might have got this wrong but the way you're posting sounds as though you think the waiter was having a dig at you because you didn't reciprocate his flirting?

ChequeOff Tue 04-Oct-16 23:07:02

Did you fancy this chap?

Sayonaraplenty Tue 04-Oct-16 23:07:23

ChequeOff I don't know, it ran through my mind but it's ridiculous I think.

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