Just really want everyone's take on this as not sure if I have been U or not.
Nephew just gone off to uni. I text him two days before he went wishing him good luck. I then text him a week and a half later to see if he was enjoying it and he ignored me and then I saw he had deleted me from FB. Today I learn that he is very upset with this as he was waiting to hear from me on the day he went. I do not have an excuse why I did not call. We were supposed to be giving him a lift but then he said he had made other plans and we said ok have a good luck and have a great time so in my head I had already wished him luck.
I am mortified and had I known he as waiting for my call then of course I would have contacted him. i would never intentionally hurt him. The fact is I do not really see much of him and he never texts me or anything like that. When we go round he stays up in his room. When he comes to me for family events he brings a book. I love him to pieces but although we see each other often, we are not close. I have never analysed it, just accepted it and the fact is I never considered that he would be bothered if he heard from me or not at that particular time. Having said that I have always been there when they needed me and I would have liked to think he knew I was always there for him no matter what.
My take on it is this... I have also 6 weeks ago taken a huge step in my life. Nephew didn't contact me and I didn't expect him to. Although I am sorry to hear he is upset I have said that as he is now an adult, going forward I am more than happy to make a bigger effort but it is unfair of him to expect it from me if he is unwilling to do the same. I am not saying he should do the same but just that it is unfair of him to expect me to behave one way when he does not. (bit of background also is that we have repeatedly had the "he is an adult and can make his own choices" remarks from my sister so I have responded to this as I would to any adult with these demands)
My sisters response is that as the aunt I am still the adult in this relationship and that he has every reason to be upset with me. That I should not expect the same from him and I am completely in the wrong here.
So passing to MN jury. What do you think?
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AIBU?
Adult niece and nephew fallout, who is BU me or Dsis
132 replies
rabbit12345 · 03/10/2016 13:29
OP posts:
Arfarfanarf ·
03/10/2016 13:34
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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