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To be hurt that my parents would rather go on holiday with their friends than us

(107 Posts)
mayaknew Sun 02-Oct-16 18:29:42

I know I am I. Just can't help feel hurt. I'll try to put this as simply as I can. I'd also like to point out I am delighted they are going it's just the way this all happened that makes me feel hurt.

So my parents go on holiday with their friends and their friends dcs every year (the dcs being children/teens). They've asked us to go a few times but we haven't because we would rather save for a few years and go to florida rather than paying a fortune and go on a holiday we weren't really fussy about.

My mums never been bothered either way but my dad was absolutely adamant he couldn't do a transatlantic flight. We will go eventually ourselves but I just think it would be better if we went as a big family my parents are like a second set of parents to my dcs they adore them and I know they would have an amazing time if they were there.

So anyway after giving up on them coming to florida we decided we would go on my parents normal holiday with them next year then save for florida and go when all dcs in school.

We have just found out my parents have just booked to go to NY with their friends and the friends dcs for a few days next year. So I've been asking them to go to America for years and been told categorically it won't happen, but their mates ask them and it's booked within the hour. I jusy said to DH is nice to know where I am in the pecking order.

I'd just like to point out that I don't care that they're going to NY, or that they wouldn't come to florida with us, as stand alone occurrences, but the fact that for years I've heard "oh maya we'd love nothing more than to come to florida with you and the dcs but I just couldn't do that flight" then hear he's miraculously able to fly to new York no bother the first time their mates even mention the idea. It's just a bit hurtful.

mayaknew Sun 02-Oct-16 18:32:10

Even as a read that back it sounds ridiculous to be hurt by something so trivial. I know I'm acting like a baby and need to give myself a shake blush

SaucyJack Sun 02-Oct-16 18:34:22

" I just think it would be better if we went as a big family my parents are like a second set of parents to my dcs"

This is the bit that jumps out at me.

Do you think it's co-incidental that your parents don't want to spend money on a big holiday in which they would be expected to act as second parents? I'm not sure I do. Maybe they'd prefer to relax on holiday.

Not trying to be bitchy. It's just an observance.

FeckinCrutches Sun 02-Oct-16 18:35:50

Maybe they didn't want to hurt your feelings? Maybe Florida isn't a holiday they aren't keen to go on, just like you haven't been keen to go on their holidays the last few years? I know I wouldn't waste thousands of pounds going to Florida but I would go to New York

mayaknew Sun 02-Oct-16 18:37:00

Possibly Saucy you could be right. Although as I said they've wanted us to go with them to their usual holiday before so I'm not sure it would be any different?

Fizzer123 Sun 02-Oct-16 18:37:01

Yes, I thought the same as Saucy. Maybe the just don't fancy Florida, I know I wouldn't.

Tiredandtested Sun 02-Oct-16 18:37:42

How old are your DC and the friends' DC?
Going with older teens and littlies is a very different holiday.

Only1scoop Sun 02-Oct-16 18:38:49

In m my line of work I often used to watch the GP clearly being dragged on holiday to Florida as they felt they had to go.

LucyGravity Sun 02-Oct-16 18:40:13

Isn't a flight to Florida about twice as long as one to New York? I don't think it's unreasonable of them not to want to fly for 9-10hrs but be ok to NY.

reup Sun 02-Oct-16 18:40:15

I can imagine preferring NY to Florida and liking to go on away with friends. But not friends kids - why would anyone want that on a very regular basis?

MatildaTheCat Sun 02-Oct-16 18:41:42

Id feel sad about this, too. I'm the least theme park sort of person but we went with our ds, 8&6 and my parents and we had a wonderful time.

Maybe say in as lighthearted a way as possible, 'How wonderful, maybe you'll come with us one day now you can face the flights?'

I think it's better with non babies and toddlers anyway.

MatildaTheCat Sun 02-Oct-16 18:42:23

The flight time is very similar.

NerrSnerr Sun 02-Oct-16 18:44:39

Do you think they'd be expected to do a lot of looking after the children if they went with you instead of being able to relax on holiday? New York is also a very different holiday to New York, maybe they just don't fancy Florida.

LucyGravity Sun 02-Oct-16 18:44:41

Oh you're right Matilda. Why did I think NY was more like 5 hours? I may be stuck in a Concorde age!

PNGirl Sun 02-Oct-16 18:46:10

I'd be upset too. I think I'd feel like I had to say something - if they don't fancy Florida they should say so!

Realhousewivesofshit Sun 02-Oct-16 18:49:21

well they have asked you in the past to go and you declined.

I would rather rip my arm off than go to Disney but enjoyed NY.

I think your parents just don't fancy Disney.

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 02-Oct-16 18:49:43

What time of year are they going?
I can absolutely see how they'd prefer a few days in NYC seeing the sights, eating out etc than a two week trip to Disney in the humidity of Florida and all that that entails.

mayaknew Sun 02-Oct-16 18:50:15

Oh God thus went quick I'll try n get all points.

My dcs (apart from baby) are similar ages to the friends dcs when the first went on holiday together.

Maybe they don't fancy florida but if that's the case they should've just said so. I've always thought that in the end they'd change their minds. That's my own fault though.

Absolutely no childcare would be required and they know this without a doubt.

Realhousewivesofshit Sun 02-Oct-16 18:51:56

Also maybe do they do a lot of babysitting or looking after your children while you work? They might want a relax from that as that wouldn't happen with friends kids.

Sure it's not meant to hurt you op.

FeckinCrutches Sun 02-Oct-16 18:54:14

Like I said earlier, maybe they would hate to go to Florida but don't want to hurt your feelings.

mayaknew Sun 02-Oct-16 19:00:24

Real I would agree with you if they haven't been going on holiday with their friends dcs for the past 8 years blush

brasty Sun 02-Oct-16 19:03:39

They should have just been honest that they don't want to go to Florida. They are obviously happy to holiday with you if they keep inviting you to their holidays. But I think others are right, they just don't want to go to Florida.
I don't know how old they are, but walking around the parks in the Florida heat is very tiring, and they may just not feel up to it. Spending a few days in NY eating out and visiting a few sights, is not nearly as tiring.

Boiing Sun 02-Oct-16 19:04:02

London to Florida is over 9 hrs, london to new york is 6hrs 50 mins... According to google that is!

HmmHaa Sun 02-Oct-16 19:04:17

I understand why you are hurt!!!
I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel that way at all, but there's nothing you can downpour it, I suppose.

How about suggesting they fly to NY and drive to Florida then? 😂

HmmHaa Sun 02-Oct-16 19:04:43

*do about it, not downpour!

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