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To charge rent to my newly returned daughter from uni who now has s job???

(171 Posts)
plastique Sun 02-Oct-16 18:02:18

Daughter has been back from uni for a few months now and been working temporarily but now permenantly. So I want to know charge rent and bills is Ok? Or AIBU??

GiantHulkHands Sun 02-Oct-16 18:03:01


Creampastry Sun 02-Oct-16 18:03:10

Ok, even if you save some for her towards a deposit.

ThatStewie Sun 02-Oct-16 18:03:16

It's absolutely fine & normal.

RaeSkywalker Sun 02-Oct-16 18:03:54

Of course YANBU.

Northernlurker Sun 02-Oct-16 18:04:03

Yanbu. Does she think you are? I would start off low and consider whether you need to charge for food or whether she would rather buy and cook her own.

ilovesooty Sun 02-Oct-16 18:04:14

Of course she should be making a proper contribution to the household.

Chippednailvarnishing Sun 02-Oct-16 18:04:42

Depends, is she in shitloads of debt? Are you struggling? I would personally want to see my DCs saving.

plastique Sun 02-Oct-16 18:04:51

I'm a bit dubious of what her reaction will be..what's the best way about going about this??? TIA X

LineyReborn Sun 02-Oct-16 18:05:06

Well, if your adult child is working then yes, you should be charging at least your out-of-pocket expenses.

GiantHulkHands Sun 02-Oct-16 18:05:31

Maybe talk to your daughter about what would be reasonable, look together at rental property prices in your area to gauge what to charge? She's an adult now and that comes with responsibilities like paying your way. Good luck.

PortiaCastis Sun 02-Oct-16 18:05:55

Of course its ok. She won't live anywhere else for free

Amalfimamma Sun 02-Oct-16 18:06:42


ConvincingLiar Sun 02-Oct-16 18:06:50

Now that you have a job, you'll need to start contributing to the family finances. It would cost you X+Y+Z to be a lodger round here so I thought that £Q would be about right.

Make sure you tackle non financial contribution at the same time. You don't want her to think that £50 a week comes with a full maid service.

dowhatnow Sun 02-Oct-16 18:07:05

If you can afford it, save it for her and present it as a lump sum when it's needed, for a car/ house deposit/ rent deposit etc.

If you need it then charge it and don't feel guilty.

MrsJayy Sun 02-Oct-16 18:07:30

Well you say to her i would like x a month to go towards the household please Dd. Its normal imo for working children to pay towards their keep.

ilovesooty Sun 02-Oct-16 18:07:46

I can't imagine why you should be dubious or worried about her reaction. Surely she realises that people pay rent and living expenses in the adult world?

Pisssssedofff Sun 02-Oct-16 18:08:02

She knows she can't live for free she's seen that with her own eyes at uni. I'd let her buy her travel card, some clothes, have s night out and then the month after its business as usual, £25 a week I paid in 1994 out of £65 a week wages.

Idliketobeabutterfly Sun 02-Oct-16 18:08:22

Yanbu. My mum did with me.

AnyFucker Sun 02-Oct-16 18:09:01

Are you frightened of your daughter ?

Don't give her a free ride. Tell her she is paying rent or she can go elsewhere.

ilovesooty Sun 02-Oct-16 18:10:05

You've already been subsidising her before she had a permanent job.

plastique Sun 02-Oct-16 18:12:59

Thanks for responses.. Yep I know I need to ask I'm not scared but just want to approach it the best way smile

vvmama92 Sun 02-Oct-16 18:13:38

YANBU at all. I didn't live at home over the age of 18, but a couple of my siblings did (two still do) either before or after uni, and all paid differing amounts of rent depending in their income.

As previous posters have mentioned, if you need the money for household upkeep/bills/etc then take it and don't feel guilty - if you don't need the money, then take it and save it for her. She shouldn't expect to live anywhere for free. Even if she's paying just £25 a week or something as nominal as that, it'll stop her becoming complacent/expectant.

0nTheEdge Sun 02-Oct-16 18:13:51

Unless she's in massive amounts of debt, I think yes. Things to consider are if she buys her own food or not, does her own cooking and/or washing. From my first badly paid job, my mum charged me rent of £60 per month (15 years ago). I bought my own food, did my own cooking and washing. If I ran out of money, there were no bail outs. It was a bit brutal but I was forced to learn how to budget quickly and it's a useful skill!

choli Sun 02-Oct-16 18:15:51

She is an entitled jackass if she hasn't offered.

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