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To have sent dd to her room and not let her come down until dinner time

(40 Posts)
2ndSopranos Sun 02-Oct-16 15:42:57

Her behaviour at weekends is atrocious. She doesn't want to do anything that isn't on her terms so yet again we're enduring another Sunday where she's refusing to do ANYTHING. Park = no. Conker hunt = no. Craft = no. Playing in the garden = no. All homework/music practice done so can't use that one.

This is absolutely typical. If it isn't what she wants to do she turns into a complete madam, stropping, whining, moaning and being generally objectionable. Even if we do drag her out she spends every second sulking. We

She's nearly 9. After yet another day of moaning that she's booooooooooored but refusing to do anything/go anywhere I've sent her to her room and told her if there's no TV/PlayStation/laptop or anything for the rest of the day. I'm sure I'm being harsh but I'm sick of it.

Amelie10 Sun 02-Oct-16 15:44:14

Yanbu, she will have time to think about what a miserable brat she's being. She'll survive a day in her room actually being bored.

Fairylea Sun 02-Oct-16 15:44:45

So what does she want to do? What does she enjoy?

BarbarianMum Sun 02-Oct-16 15:45:47

Sounds reasonable to me. Ds2 can be a bit like this. If it gets bad he is then given chores to do until he can think of something better to do.
Doesn't take long usually.

Soubriquet Sun 02-Oct-16 15:47:09

Yanbu

She will learn true boredom that way

What if she wants to do?

Soubriquet Sun 02-Oct-16 15:47:38

Is it not if

Sparklesilverglitter Sun 02-Oct-16 15:47:58

It's ok to be bored and Children have to learn to entertain themselves.

If she doesn't want to do anything/go out/ whatever she might as well sit in her room really. She'll survive the day in her room.

Does she have hobbies ( reading/baking/craft/sport) ? Friends? Siblings?

2ndSopranos Sun 02-Oct-16 15:48:15

Fairy we ask and we get "dunno". So we think of lots of things that she likes which are met with "Not doing that".

Can't win!

Shockers Sun 02-Oct-16 15:48:20

If you are, so am I. DD is currently sulking and chunnering on her bed about how mean I am.

Yup, I'm really mean DD- asking you not to speak to me like something you pulled off the bottom of your shoe is sooo mean.

It's very peaceful down here without her.

ilovesooty Sun 02-Oct-16 15:49:38

Well if she's bored she can read a book and entertain herself.

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Sun 02-Oct-16 15:49:57

YANBU.
I have one of those too.
What can I dooooooo? And any suggestions met with rolling eyes or no. Not always it is annoying.
I often get her to do chores if she keeps on but when I have sent her upstairs for a bit she is usually doing one of the things suggested.to her grin.
I'm dreading the teenage years.

2ndSopranos Sun 02-Oct-16 15:50:44

She does have hobbies and has done them today already. And yesterday was booooooooooored in the 45 minutes to do a weekly shop she stayed at home with dh and baked.

Tbf when I'm around on my own she and her sister are good at entertaining themselves but when dh is around she expects constant input.

DixieWishbone Sun 02-Oct-16 15:54:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1472419718 Sun 02-Oct-16 15:56:36

Feel free to call me out on this, as I don't have kids.

But "stropping, whining, moaning and being generally objectionable" isn't really what I would describe as "atrocious" behaviour that she should be punished for by spending the entire afternoon in her room, alone.

She has done everything that was asked of her (homework and music practice). I think you are being a little harsh.

2ndSopranos Sun 02-Oct-16 15:58:52

Come back to me when you have dc user and we'll revisit.

I've remembered she needs to read her school reading book so have suggested she's does that, or vacuum upstairs. Guess what she's doing now.

Soubriquet Sun 02-Oct-16 16:00:41

Might not be punishment worthy but do you have any idea how annoying it is to have a child stropping around the house all day complaining they are bored? It is incredibly annoying especially when you have tried to please them and they don't want to know

It won't hurt them to sent to their room to reflect and get a better attitude

MaQueen Sun 02-Oct-16 16:02:53

I didn't tolerate this. If our DDs ever started whinging about being bored, they were allocated a few chores.

It was amazing how quickly they learned to keep their boredom to themselves.

You really, really shouldn't have to give a 9 year old constant input.

Lelloteddy Sun 02-Oct-16 16:17:03

What's the dynamic with her dad? Does she get attention from him during the week? Help with homework etc? The dynamic changing so much when he's around suggests that's what you need to focus on. Is he involved and engaged? Is she just desperate for some quality time with him?

I'd also stop giving her options. Plan a trip to the park and tell her that's what's happening. Ignore any eye rolling or huffing and puffing. Engage your other DD and hopefully she'll start to snap out if her mood.

GingerbreadLatteToGo Sun 02-Oct-16 16:23:18

I've a better plan, send her to user.....718 every weekend 😁😂

She's 8 and bored (pretty normal) but doesn't want to do what you suggest, even though you've suggested 'together' activities...(not so common at 8). I can cope with this occasionally, but more than that I'd be having a rant & sorting out some 'rules'.

Here's a 'rant' for you...

DD, I don't want to hear 'I'm bored'.

You have a houseful of toys, games, craft stuff. You have your bike, scooter (etc) Loads of books, your 'ipad' (or whatever) & plenty of paper to draw & write.

If you want to go out then decide where you'd like to go & ask if we can take you, or ask if you want to play a game or do a specific activity with us. But we are NOT mind readers and we are fed up with second guessing what you might fancy doing, especially when your replies are so rude.

I will give you one, and only one, warning and then you will be given a job to do, because I am not having my weekends spoilt by your whinging.

ChuckBiscuits Sun 02-Oct-16 16:24:07

Bored kids can always do some chores. Collecting the washing and putting a wash on, dusting, hoovering, clean the bathroom...they are only ever bored once when an offer like that is on the table.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 02-Oct-16 16:26:16

Loving whinese and the chore bowl grin

Yanbu. I am also straight with DS. He's 12. He didn't manage to walk through town despite being reminded a million hundred times and ran when half way across the road 3 times.
He is not being allowed out to play due to 'how can I be sure you are safe' and bored because 'toddlers don't play xbox'.

He's not happy but has been reminded only he can change the state of play.

Starlight234 Sun 02-Oct-16 16:27:58

I have a 9 year old..He is tired today after cub camp.. I knew it was going to be a long day but did need to go pick up a chicken and a couple of other bits today.

At the first drop of the shoulders and groan I sent him back to bed and told him not to get up until he was ready to be part of the family that doesn't involve doing it all on his terms..

He has enjoyed himself and is now watching a film. I don't have massive expectations of him today.

It sounds like she is controlling the day..What did you want to do?

TheRadiantAerynSun Sun 02-Oct-16 16:29:25

Bored children get jobs to do.
Whiney children get sent where we don't have to listen to them.

DS went through a stage of coming and asking for jobs because he was bored. That wore of pretty quick though; was sweet while it lasted grin

CauliflowerSqueeze Sun 02-Oct-16 16:31:40

Ask her to make a list of things she would like to do for herself, and a list of things she would like to do to help around the house.

Tell her she can come out when she has 5 of each!

itsmine Sun 02-Oct-16 16:34:09

You just need to leave her there, get ear plugs and ignore.

9yrs plus <ime> is far more trying than the toddler years. When little, they're are happy at the park or soft play for an hr. At 9 plus they get far more objectionable.

As long as you know she isn't ill, she's been fed etc and has had some kind of activity either having a friend round or whatever just leave her in her room without tv/phone and tell her she can come out when she can show respect and interact a bit better. Its teeth gnashingly awful at times but you're right to have boundaries and stick to it. The penny does eventually drop, so stick at it with zero tolerance.

What you do now will have a great impact when shes 13 and then really a pita grin

I used to have ipod on full blast to drown out the whines until they could offer something pleasant to the day

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