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To be cross at my sister for trying to hook me up with her friend

(7 Posts)
user1473509591 Sat 01-Oct-16 20:24:20

My sister invited me out last night for a drink, her first since having a baby. Turned into a couple of her friends, and then a bloke she started 'bigging up' and apparently would get on great with.
I'm in a relationship, but she's never liked him. She thinks I'm in a bad relationship and while I agree to an extent AIBU to be pissed that she's trying to 'tempt' me? Worst part was this guy, who was lovely and kind and attentive, was in on it. He was there solely to try and boost my self esteem. My sister and her boyfriend actually put him up to it. 1)this makes me feel like a sad case 2)I'm in a relationship 3) once I found out he was in on it too it just all felt weird and fake!

I know my sister wants me to be happy and it hurts her that I'm not and that my self esteem is so low, but I definately don't think it was helpful.

QuiltedAloeVera Sat 01-Oct-16 20:28:27

What is it about your relationship that makes you agree it is bad?

user1473509591 Sat 01-Oct-16 20:30:51

I think we've just outgrown each other really. He doesn't work because he wants to 'follow his dreams', he's fantastic with the kids but doesn't really do much with them, he's controlling and aggressive. He has aspergers and sometimes he's just very hard to deal with.

QuiltedAloeVera Sat 01-Oct-16 20:39:41

He is not fantastic with the kids if he is controlling and aggressive towards their mum.

Do you get to follow your dreams too or do you have to work to provide for him and the kids?

What your sister did last night doesn't sound helpful, but at least she's on your side.

Mimicat44 Sat 01-Oct-16 20:43:14

It sounds like your sister is just really sad that you're in a relationship with someone controlling and aggressive and wishes you were with someone nice. If you can't leave him for your sake perhaps think about the effect on your children of seeing their parents in a bad relationship and their mother accepting less than what she deserves. I don't mean to be unkind to you but really you are part of the problem as you are allowing it to continue and it WILL affect them. Good luck.

OurBlanche Sat 01-Oct-16 20:44:45

Take half a step back... how much do your DSIS and BIL care about you that they have tried to stage 'an intervention'?

Don't get me wrong I think it is utterly cringeworthy and embarrassing but set aside your embarrassment... are they right? You have already thought about making changes... your other threads show that (assuming I have remembered one of your threads correctly)... so maybe this toe curlingly embarrassing night out can spur you on to change your life for the better.

DeadGood Sat 01-Oct-16 20:45:27

I'd say your situation must be pretty bad for your sister to try a stunt like this.

Examine your life. Consider this an intervention.

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