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Yummy mummy, slummy mummy, dummy mummy

(40 Posts)
Badbadtromance Sat 01-Oct-16 18:05:32

I've been friends with "a" for 15 years. She is a real middle class yummy mummy. I've always been jealous of her gorgeous blonde curls,super career,top of the class kids and large house. I have been desperate to be like her. Alas I am a working class slummy mummy,SP,kids average and poor.
She has only ever since invited my child to her house once and that was 10 years ago. Not sure what he could have done but none of us ever asked back. However over the years she has been to every one of my kids parties with her kids, often pops in to visit us too. The problem is last week was my youngest party. She came, brought no gift or card. I have MH problems and not sure if I feel used but can't see how as everyone thinks she is so nice, but this has got me thinking back over the years and she has never given anything or invited me to her house or out with her very nice friends. It's driving me nuts over thinking this, just not sure if I am being taken for a fool or not. Kids never invited to her kids parties either. I would never go to her with problems as not that kind of friendship. I just don't know if iabu or is it my mh

quencher Sat 01-Oct-16 18:15:10

After the second birthday with no invite you should have stopped inviting her child or children.
You don't have to be friends with everybody. If your kids wanted her kids around then fine. If it's you that insisted on her child coming, then you should have got the hint by now.

By the way, "all that glitters isn't gold" you don't know what happens behind closed doors.

Seriously, stop people pleasing and you will be a happier person.

Brentlicious Sat 01-Oct-16 18:16:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

usual Sat 01-Oct-16 18:18:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 01-Oct-16 18:19:11

Are you actually friends?

It reads as though she's just someone you vaguely know.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 01-Oct-16 18:20:12

Entitled slag? Totally uncalled for.

JustCallMeKate Sat 01-Oct-16 18:22:40

she is an entitled slag.

Jesus Christ! Where the hell do\I'd that come from hmm

I agree with King is she your friend or an acquaintance?

JustCallMeKate Sat 01-Oct-16 18:23:11

Did stupid nails on a tiny screen.

quencher Sat 01-Oct-16 18:24:34

Brentilicous you would not call that a friendship, though. They know each other by association with the school children. We don't even know if the kids are friends. Op wants to establish a friendship. It's been going on for over ten years. If something was to happen, it would have happened by now.

I think there was a thread about women who act like queen bee and you have lots of women wanting to be their friends. They tend not to be nice but have lots of people fawning over their lifestyles. You may want to read that. In the last week I have seen two of those.

DustyOfSkye Sat 01-Oct-16 18:27:32

Sorry to say but it doesn't sound like she's really your friend OP.

mygorgeousmilo Sat 01-Oct-16 18:27:45

She isn't a friend

quencher Sat 01-Oct-16 18:28:23

Why are those parents so fawned over?

You may want to read that link.

sentia Sat 01-Oct-16 18:30:42

Why do you keep inviting her?

Badbadtromance Sat 01-Oct-16 18:38:01

She comes across as oh so v nice. I don't know why she would want to be my friend really. Just wanted her 5o like me and be my friend, but the turning up without so much as a card made me think. Thanks for replies

Brentlicious Sat 01-Oct-16 18:43:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cocklodger Sat 01-Oct-16 18:48:21

For you, Brent...

CatNip2 Sat 01-Oct-16 18:51:51

This makes me sad, she doesn't value you or your friendship you are not worthy of a present or return visit, you are a convenient outlet to entertain her children. Sorry, but you need to get shut, and since you are getting rid you have nothing to lose in telling her what a witch she is.

Brentlicious Sat 01-Oct-16 19:02:27

Thanks cocklodger! Brilliantly ironic from someone with your user-name.

Willow2016 Sat 01-Oct-16 19:12:34

SHe isnt your friend you are just someone who invites her and her kids to nice things which she doesnt feel she needs to reciprocate.

Distance yourself from her, you really dont want to be like her she is using you and friends and nice people you look up to dont do that.

It doesnt matter how much money you have, how nice your house is, what you wear it matters how you treat other people and you are miles ahead of her in that respect.

serin Sat 01-Oct-16 19:18:35

OP you are worth a thousand of her. star cake flowers

Queenbean Sat 01-Oct-16 19:21:02

Op she's taking you for a ride, she's not your friend. And things can be very different behind closed doors.

And slag? What a vile word and unnecessary in this context

PaulAnkaTheDog Sat 01-Oct-16 19:28:24

I'm intrigued as to how anything the op has said makes the woman a slag? I think Brent is talking out their arse.

fastdaytears Sat 01-Oct-16 19:34:56

Slag is a horrible word and I really don't think should be used on MN. Hard to know how it's even relevant here.

OP this woman isn't your friend. Don't feel used, but distance yourself now.

Caipira Sat 01-Oct-16 19:50:42

Brentlicious is probably just using slag in slang terms, not literally. In some parts of the country any rude person is called a slag or cunt. Common in some London circles for example. Case of cross-wires I think. You'd have to live under a rock to know what it meant.

I have two good friends who are also good friends. One lives with her DH and 2 kids in a 7 bedroom house and has money, the other lives with her DH and 3 kids in a 2 bedroom council flat down the road and often struggles. The wealthier one never goes to others house and at times I've wondered if she invites her as if to say "my home is the only place worthy of social gatherings" some people who have big homes consider it a bit showy off, face rubbing to invite people who do not. Could be this going on? When she pops in, is she coming to see you? Or is she asking you for favours? If it's the latter, she's using you, if it's the former, she likes you. Could she have rembered the party last minute? Do her children always have birthday parties?

Look at it from both sides, I'm just trying to be devils advocate. If she's using you and ignoring you then I would start distancing yourself.

ClopySow Sat 01-Oct-16 19:57:42

Do people still actually use slag? Christ.

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