AIBU or is DP?

[MsConsuela]

DP and I have a lot of issues and are close to breaking up. I know he's the unreasonable one on many things- stingy, moany, selfish, the list goes on...

However, what happened today might be my fault due to me having reached breaking point.

One of the good things about DP is that he often waits even a couple hours after work to meet me on weekdays as I gave longer working hours,

He doesn't usually complain.

Today, I finished earlier than him after a week of finishing at like 9pm. He knows it's been a horrible week for me with 12 hour workdays. He also knows that my health is bad and I've been poorly all year so I have nowhere near the same stamina as him.

Still, I said I'd wait for him and do some shopping while I waited. I did my shopping for an hour and then asked him how much longer he'd be. He said he was leaving office then.

Now, it usually takes him about ten mins to walk to the station from work. I waited 25 mins and there was no sign of him. What's apped him and he didn't answer. Calls didn't go through.

So I just messaged him again to say that looked like he was held up somewhere and I didn't even know how much longer he'd be so I was going to head home as I was absolutely exhausted.

Two mins later, he asked me to wait another ten mins as he was in boots.

Turns out, he'd gone shopping himself and that's why he was delayed.

I told him he could have just told me when he was leaving work that he'd be at least half an hour more and not the usual ten mins because he had to go shopping first.

I'd already waited over an hour and was then hanging around there expecting him in ten mins while he didn't even answer messages or calls.

He got really prickly and said I was being ridiculous and he always waits patiently for me. To which I replied that while that was totally true, I always give him a heads up about timings, never force him to wait and that he wasn't poorly like me.

He promptly started listing incidents where he'd waited for me...

He then proceeded to say he'd planned to take us to dinner. I said, he should have told me, I'd have gotten a table while he went to the shops.

He dismissed me and said was no longer interested in dinner and we'd do it at some other time.

This is despite the fact that I was normal and nice when I saw him and more than willing to go to dinner anyway.

Was he being a prick or am I wrong?

[JerryFerry]

I think he meant well, is a poor communicator, and that you sound very, very tired.

I sympathise! I loathe being kept waiting and would feel v fed up too, but I suspect that you'll feel a lot better after a good sleep.

Don't let the argument drag on, it won't get any better. This is something to address when you are both feeling better. Perhaps discuss plans v clearly before you next arrange to meet at shops/after work eg please let me know ETA as I'm feeling v tired

[MsConsuela]

I am indeed very tired

But given that we are already on the verge of breaking up, and that I'm so disappointed in him in so many ways, this argument has made it even harder now.

[ohtheholidays]

No he was a bit of a tit!

If he knows you've been ill for along time and that you've been working really long hours he could have just gave you a heads up about how long he would be or at least answer the phone.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I think you're done so it doesn't really matter if he is BU or not.

[MsConsuela]

Haven't slept all night over this

[MsConsuela]

MrsTerry- I didn't say we are done. I don't want this to end just yet.

[marcopront]

Does he want to end it?

I am confused by your comment that you are on the verge of breaking up, but that you don't want to end it yet.

[MsConsuela]

No neither of us want it to end. But we have some differences we can't seem to resolve and are hence on the verge of a breakup.

Anyway, the post isn't about that. It's about what happened yesterday

[tofutti]

If he waits for you every weekday and never complains about it, then I think YABU, a bit. There is no way I would wait 2 hours in town for my DH, unless it was really, really important. And I'm a very considerate wife!

I think that's pretty heroic actually! Do you then get public transport together?

[MsConsuela]

Nope, not everyday, but maybe 1-2 times a week in the past couple months. Usually he works extremely late too.

[roarityroar]

Nah he is being a twat.

You are unwell. He was being precious and whiny. If you were normal when he saw you, he should've still taken you both for dinner.

What is it with these delicate little flowers these days who just cannot stand 'their' women speaking to them in anything but the sweetest, meekest tones.