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To think this teachers response was a bit shit? Or perhaps I am being horrendously precious?

(252 Posts)
Gallopingthundercunt Fri 30-Sep-16 09:53:51

Hugely identifying if the teacher is reading but what the hell.....

DS(12) wanted to start a club at school yesterday but (for reasons best known to himself) turned up at the wrong time. He immediately went to find the teacher running the club and apologised to her, asking her whether he would still be allowed to take part. She told him that part of the requirements for the club were that he was punctual and reliable, since he had been neither then he couldn't confused

When DS got home he was in tears over the incident. In fairness, my DSDad (his grandad) died unexpectedly last week so I feel his response may be slightly coloured by emotion. We discussed what had happened and he accepted that he was in the wrong to turn up late and that the teacher has every right to refuse him entry to the club.

I then emailed the teacher to explain the situation (as I have above) and ask whether she would reconsider, given the circumstances and how upset DS was. For the record I have never sent an email like this in all of DS's school career, but I felt very strongly that I needed to raise the issue. This morning I received a rather curt email telling me that despite DS being under "some emotional strain" that she would not reconsider. She also reiterated the qualities that were required for the club and how DS was lacking in them.

My first response was disbelief and now (if I'm honest) real anger. I need to acknowledge her reply but I'm seriously unsure whether to take it further or whether I will appear a raving harpie who thinks the rules shouldn't apply to my precious snowflake. I'm normally quite laid back and would simply tell DS to learn from his mistakes, but this incident and the subsequent email have really got my hackles up. So AIBU or is the teacher?

Sancia Fri 30-Sep-16 10:04:42

It sounds a bit of an overreaction to a minor issue, really. The clubs are supposed to encourage children to take up new things for themselves (rather than sit passively in lessons) and show some initiative, and yet he's basically being taught that unless you're perfect, such clubs are not the place for you. It's like turning up for work late one day and being immediately struck off from the entire profession.

My school 'clubs' were little more than fibs in the promotional booklet. When I turned up they simply didn't exist, having been wrapped up many terms before. This genuinely made me think most clubs, societies and activities were just made-up by management types and I never bothered for the rest of school or college. I'd had enough of standing outside the doors of empty rooms or asking teachers where Drama club was, only to be semi-laughed/sneered at. This stuff matters. It creates shame. We're already, as a culture, fairly reluctant to try new things, play sports, enjoy teams and hobbies, and there's nothing like a nice harsh bit of public shaming as a teen to ensure you never sign up for anything again.

What the fuck's her club, anyway, that requires such perfection? Young Politicians? Pedants R Us? I'd like to see how many Netball Under 14s or Football teams would survive if you culled every latecomer.

YANBU. It's petty.

Pagwatch Fri 30-Sep-16 10:05:53

Yes, I think the teacher is being a dickhead.

MrsJayy Fri 30-Sep-16 10:08:49

Wow under emotional strain he is 12 fgs yip dickhead for sure.

Eva50 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:15:47

YANBU. that's really unkind. I would be tempted to forward both e-mails to the head asking if they could intervene but would worry that the teacher may take it out on ds. Would he want to join now anyway.

Denshacam Fri 30-Sep-16 10:15:48

I think the teacher is in the wrong here. If it had happened on numerous occasions then I would understand why she would react like the way she has but I think she should give your son another chance and a "warning" for next time.

charlybs Fri 30-Sep-16 10:16:29

What on earth? That teacher is being so mean.

Surely on a first offence you could just say "it's important to be on time so next time don't be late but sure come on in"

Why does the teacher have such a big stick up them? Not ok!!! YANBU

anotheronebitthedust Fri 30-Sep-16 10:18:26

shock I thought at first that she meant he couldn't come in for that session, probably because the others could have been half way through an activity and he would have put them off, which is fair enough. But if she's actually saying that because he was a few minutes late for the first ever session he now can't join at all? That's appalling!

What would she have done if a child who had been ill for the first session, or didn't know the club existed then wanted to join next week? Will the pupils who got there on time this week be kicked out if they ever turn up a minute late in future, or if they're off school for any reason - that would only be fair, although if she does stick to her own crazy rules she won't up with any participants by half term!

Agree with what do his 'personal qualities' matter? It's a school club, it should be open to all!

Katinkka Fri 30-Sep-16 10:18:54

Not cool.

Teacher on a power trip.

I'd be tempted to reply something like "Thank you for taking the emotional strain he's been under due to recent events into account. Not being allowed into the club last week has taught him an important lesson regarding punctuality. He'll see you for club next Friday, at 4.15 sharp fully understanding that if he is late he will not be admitted. Regards, mum.

And cc to head of year or similar.

I'd possibly meet him after school and stand in the entrance to see him in to the club room. Teacher would be a real twat to not actually let him in the door. And if that happened I'd let them know how pathetic they were being.

MrsJayy Fri 30-Sep-16 10:22:04

Sounds like the teacher is full of self importance it is a school club not a board meeting regardless of your sons emotional strain it is a school club hmm I second sending the emails to headteacher as this teacher needs bringing down a peg or 2

Scarydinosaurs Fri 30-Sep-16 10:23:21

Is the club reliant on the members being punctual?? What club is it?

Does your son have a history of being late? Is he often in detentions and troublesome and likely to cause problems in the club?

I'm scratching my head at this. I've only ever kicked one kid out of a club, and he was rude and swore at me shock and his dad still called up and tried to tell me how to do my job, and that he should be allowed back. He was not allowed back.

I appreciate she won't be paid to run the club, but seriously, she's expecting a bit much of 11 year olds if they're never allowed to be late.

Lifeisgreat2 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:25:41

I would go further and agree she's a dickhead

Foxysoxy01 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:30:43

I thought you meant just for that session, but clearly not.

I would consider if my DC would really want to join a club where that teacher were in charge TBH. It doesn't sound like it's going to be a particularly fun, relaxed environment.

Ruletheroost Fri 30-Sep-16 10:32:22

Wow what an U stuck up cow. Sounds like teacher's on a power trip. Forward the emails to the head. God knows what got up her arse but she's bvu.

fastdaytears Fri 30-Sep-16 10:33:04

It's shit and yes the teacher has massively overreacted but surely there is something else your son could do that doesn't involve this teacher...

Irush Fri 30-Sep-16 10:36:07

You are right and not being precious

teacher being an utter arse, what on earth is the club??

Irush Fri 30-Sep-16 10:37:33

I do agree that the club sounds like it might not be much fun

I would complain/write clever email then find another club

if its a sports club do it out of school so he gets really good at it

JellyBelli Fri 30-Sep-16 10:38:53

YANBU. Hopefully there are other clubs your son can join that are not being run by idiots.

Julia001 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:39:01

I would complain to the year head, sounds like a power hungry moo running it, but to be honest, does your son really want to join a club with her at the head if thats her attitude?

aquawoman Fri 30-Sep-16 10:39:46

What kind of club is it? Is there some reason why the teacher would be earnestly sticking to their guns over this?

I can't imagine being that arsed that a kid got the wrong time on the first go. The teacher sounds a bit of a nutter.

jay55 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:40:34

Sounds like he's best off not going to a club run by that teacher.

ellesbellesxxx Fri 30-Sep-16 10:42:15

As a teacher, I am so impressed he went to apologise... For that I would have totally overlooked it, everyone makes mistakes!
Many is the time a little friend has piped up that little Johnny has quit, without little Johnny never discussing it with me! So very grown up of him!

mintthins Fri 30-Sep-16 10:45:16

I simply cannot even begin to imagine what sort of after school club is so precious that this can't be fixed. I am utterly bewildered. Also the teacher is being deeply unpleasant unless there is more to it.

ShatnersWig Fri 30-Sep-16 10:46:57

Teacher is a dickhead and I wouldn't accept this without taking it further.

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