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To stop using childminder until this child from hell leaves her care?

(43 Posts)
WarholsLittleQueen Fri 30-Sep-16 09:42:45

I have a fab childminder who looks after my youngest DD who is 2.6 and she has been going to her since she was 6 months old. DD adores her and CM is a lovely person, and DD absolutely thrives in her care.

However a couple of weeks ago a new child started in CM's care. She is looking after him as a favour to a friend and says it will be temporary. This child is 5 years old and has already been expelled from school. He is constantly so naughty and violent, throws things, screams and shouts, has tantrums like a toddler, and is generally an absolute nightmare. I have even seen him punching, pushing and kicking CM I do not know why she takes it...If a child hit me even once I would tell her "friend" she needs to take him elsewhere or sort him out another school. (I cant believe a 5 year old child can even be expelled and wonder if there is more to it, but there you go)

My DD seems frightened of him, she clings to me when we arrive in the morning and doesn't want me to leave, which is unusual until this boy started there. And she often mentions him at home, saying things like xxxx<childname> is naughty.

I don't want DD around him. CM would never willingly let anything happen to any of the children in her care but imagine if she wasn't looking for a second and the child punched or hurt DD?? or any of the other toddlers, while DD is there, CM looks after a total of 3 babies/toddlers and this boy.

I would struggle for alternative care but I am self employed so fairly flexible and would just have to find a way. I also would feel bad as my CM would lose money but maybe it will make her realise she needs to get shot of this kid!

mouldycheesefan Fri 30-Sep-16 09:44:21

I wouldn't still be taking my child there!!!! Find a nursery or other childminder.

Soubriquet Fri 30-Sep-16 09:45:53

It sounds like that child may have SEN

Nothing you can do about that. I would absolutely keep my child at home until he moves on.

Unfortunate but there it is

charlybs Fri 30-Sep-16 09:46:49

Definitely move your child somewhere else. You could always tell the CM to get back in touch when this child has moved on.

ApocalypseNowt Fri 30-Sep-16 09:46:55

I wouldn't send my DD there tbh. It's not good for the other DC and this boy doesn't sound like he'll be getting the care he needs either.

Have a serious talk with your CM and tell her that. Can you organise alternative childcare in the interim?

bringmeataco Fri 30-Sep-16 09:48:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Fri 30-Sep-16 09:48:11

Keep your child away until this boy is removed. She can't keep an eye on him every second and it would only take a few secs for him to really hurt another child sad. The fact that he has been expelled is frightening.

LagunaBubbles Fri 30-Sep-16 09:49:29

You need to speak to your CM and explain your concerns. It is then up to her to decide if doing a favour for a friend means more than her income.

Thinkingblonde Fri 30-Sep-16 09:49:48

Poor little boy. It sounds to me the boy needs specialist help, not a childminder, could you tell her of your concerns. By taking him on is she over quota for who many children she can look after.

VimFuego101 Fri 30-Sep-16 09:50:49

YANBU... It sounds like he needs 1:1 supervision.

longdiling Fri 30-Sep-16 09:53:17

How do you know so much about his behaviour? Has he actually hurt your dd? Have you had a proper discussion with your childminder about this and how she is meeting the needs of all the children in her care?

longdiling Fri 30-Sep-16 09:54:31

How is she over quota blonde?! She wouldn't be in Wales where I childmind. 3 preschoolers and a further 5 under 12 is what I'm registered for.

Littleballerina Fri 30-Sep-16 09:58:10

Talk to her, tell her how this is affecting your dd and that you are considering moving her.

She wouldn't be over quota in Scotland either

WarholsLittleQueen Fri 30-Sep-16 10:01:51

Thanks everyone, I was worried I was being precious!

And I know he behaves like it because I go in the house at pick up and drop off and see it with my own eyes. Plus CM is always saying about how stressed he is with the situation / him and telling me what he has been doing. I agree he needs 1:1 supervision, I cant see how CM and her assistant can give all the children equal care and attention when their time is taken up with the older boy.

And she isn't over quota, IIRC she is allowed up to 8 children.

VerbenaGirl Fri 30-Sep-16 10:03:02

Have an urgent chat with your childminder before making your final decision. But I don't think you can keep him there while this other little boy is there. It sounds like he is in need of some additional support.

Jessbow Fri 30-Sep-16 10:04:15

Talk to the childminder, express your concerns, and say you'll be moving daughter if this cant be resolved.

It does sound as though boy has some issues, and it might be that he is back at School on Monday if she has said short term.

Threebedsemii Fri 30-Sep-16 10:05:32

Of course you must take your daughte out!

As for sounds like SEN- well it's just as likely not. My BFs son was a terror at 5- expelled from 2 schools, miserable, violent and angry. Nothing "wrong" with him. Some parenting advice and some time with a child psychologist basically sorted him out

Bogglechops Fri 30-Sep-16 10:06:26

I'd also take DD out of her care, I'd just be too worried confused

RabbitsNap01 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:12:02

talk to the CM - she might decide to tell the parents of the other child that she can't carry on as she's losing a good client. I'd try talking to the CM first before I withdrew my child.

aquawoman Fri 30-Sep-16 10:12:51

You don't need a reason to find alternative childcare.

Do what you want with your childcare arrangements.

Chewbecca Fri 30-Sep-16 10:13:47

I'd take her out temporarily but not before discussing it with the CM.

Rumtopf Fri 30-Sep-16 10:16:24

Talk to her before you withdraw your daughter.
If she's only caring for this child as a short term favour then he's clearly the one that should be found an alternative or else she could lose all her business.

MrsNuckyThompson Fri 30-Sep-16 10:20:46

Have you spoke to the CM?

She probably feels completely stuck after having offered a favour to her friend. Perhaps if she had the excuse of saying her paying regular clients were going to leave she'd feel more able to say no to the friend?

MrsNuckyThompson Fri 30-Sep-16 10:20:59


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