Dp and I broke up for a few weeks over the summer. I went away for a while and we realised how much we love and miss each other and have agreed to give our relationship another go.
One major sticking point though, one which was instrumental in us breaking up in the first place, is his reluctance to consider living anywhere other than where we currently live (very rural town). I love the place where we live, it is scenic and peaceful but it is not great for me in a lot of areas, mainly:
Jobs are very hard to come by here.
Wages are very low, much lower than national average.
It is very far from my family (4hrs+ drive).
I will be graduating from uni in the next few years and I'm realising just how hard it will be to get a decent job in this area. Also my parents are getting into their 70's now and, although they are still mostly fit and well at the moment, DM still works full time because they can't afford not to. So the distance may become a problem in the future because we have no other family in this country other than myself and my siblings, none of whom live close to my parents to help out if they need it.
So my condition to DP would be that he at least consider the possibility of moving somewhere closer to my parents, that would be better for work, in the future, if it was necessary.
However, I totally understand why he has been reluctant to consider this in the past becuase all his family live in this area, and he has a son with his exP who lives here also. I completely understand that his DC is his priority and that will never change, I'm not asking him to abandon his child - far from it! I just want him to consider the possibility that, in the future, either for work or for my family, we might have to move closer to where they live (not necessarily the same town, just closer).
Wibu to ask him to consider this as a future possibility? I have friends here who do think I WBU, as I would be taking him away from his family and child, but I have to consider my own family as well. Do we have a future if we won't/can't leave this area? Before we broke up we were engaged and want to be again and my thinking is that if we are going to have a marriage and a whole life together then we both need to have our wants and needs taken into consideration.
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Please
or
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AIBU?
To stipulate that we only get back together under this condition?
94 replies
FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 30/09/2016 09:35
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