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To not feel the need to kick, cut, or punch to get my point across?

(95 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

azuretriune Fri 30-Sep-16 09:33:26

Or am I just being precious/humour impaired? (For those just tuning in, this has to do with the recent spate of violent thread titles.)

nancyblackett80 Fri 30-Sep-16 09:38:45

A bit precious although its not a nice thing to say.

I don't think anyone on here is actually thinking of gbh when they post.

They are probably tired, frustrated, have already asked nicely numerous times, implemented wall charts, given ultimatums - and have no where else to go with their problems.

And this is an anonymous and usually pretty supportive forum.

I don't click on threads I think will upset / offend me. I am aware this is AIBU!

Soubriquet Fri 30-Sep-16 09:41:16

Very precious tbh

I don't get this new thing of finding them offensive

I threaten to kill my Dh on a daily basis

Do I mean it? No

Does he know I don't mean it? Of course

It's dark humour but one we both understand

EveOnline2016 Fri 30-Sep-16 09:43:16

It may be said in frustration ect but if a male came on and said he wanted to slap his wife or cut her tits off there will be holy hell to play

JellyBelli Fri 30-Sep-16 09:45:25

Its not precious. Its just one more step in making the world a more unfriendly place.
Divide and rule is in; talking, trust and friendship is out.

scarednoob Fri 30-Sep-16 09:46:06

sorry but - get over it. it's a figure of speech.

acasualobserver Fri 30-Sep-16 09:48:25

Good point above about it only being acceptable in one direction.

SatansLittleHelper2 Fri 30-Sep-16 09:52:07

I agree.

And if a man posted 'aibu to kick my wife in the cunt ' mn would implode.

PinkBrainsTasteGut Fri 30-Sep-16 09:53:11

Yanbu. Not a nice title to read.

Only1scoop Fri 30-Sep-16 09:54:46

I don't generally click on then as would find it hard to relate to the poster

Threebedsemii Fri 30-Sep-16 09:55:55

Good for you. News flash: people are different

Chikara Fri 30-Sep-16 09:57:23

I agree too. It is horrible. I was just about to post the same. No post that said "AIBU to smack DW in the face because she ......" would stand.

There also seems to be a "He does this/doesn't do that" - therefore he is a cunt/twat/abuser. Just sort it out. Like adults.

JeNeSuisPasVotreMiel Fri 30-Sep-16 09:58:08

YANBU

It's not a figure of speech, and it's alarmingly more frequent here.
I understand when people are distressed about their partners' behaviour but such thread titles are hugely unpleasant and over the top.

JellyBelli Fri 30-Sep-16 09:58:10

Heres the problem scarednoob
If you make a comment or joke, and no one is allowed to object to it or find it unfunny (your rules) then you just moved the lines in one direction. and you say we all have to move that way.

And that how we end up with this place being like Reddit; where you will be banned straight away for posting your email address but will be upvoted for making a joke about wife beating, rape or child abuse.

HeyNannyNanny Fri 30-Sep-16 09:58:56

YANBU. I have a sense of humour and recognise that people aren't likely to actually hit their spouses (though obviously it does happen) but as PP have said, if it were a man saying it - it would be viewed differently. I dislike that something us reasonable just because a certain gender says it.

Threebedsemii Fri 30-Sep-16 09:59:46

So jellybelli this forum would live by- your rules then?

CoconutAmericano Fri 30-Sep-16 09:59:48

yanbu. I cringe when I read those thread titles. who talks like that?

JellyBelli Fri 30-Sep-16 10:01:25

Heres the problem scarednoob
Every time people make comments like this and tell everyone else to get ove it, you move the lines in one direction.
And thats how you end up with a situation like on Reddit, where you will be banned straight away for posting your email address, but can make jokes about wife beating, rape and child abuse all day long.

Its not up to you or anyone else to tell people they cant find violent comments or jokes offensive. We dont have to get over it, and it doesnt mean we lack a sense of humour.
Its ok to have boundaries and rules, get over it.

ItsJustNotRight Fri 30-Sep-16 10:02:06

I absolutely agree with you Eve. I reported the title of the one about the husband the other day. I think it was extremely offensive. I was tempted to start a thread titled "AIBU to cut of my wife's tits with a bread knife?" just to see how long that would remain on the site and how much outrage that would cause. I expect I would have been branded a psycho and had the police at my door within minutes and be banned from MN forever. I just don't get this so called humour that thinks it's totally OK to talk about men like this but women. I don't care what the thread was about, I didn't read it, it was the title that actually made me feel physically sick.

Abraiid2 Fri 30-Sep-16 10:03:09

Yanbu

JellyBelli Fri 30-Sep-16 10:03:33

Threebedsemii Seriously? Thats the best arguenment you cna com eup with?

DixieNormas Fri 30-Sep-16 10:06:07

Fucking hell the op had just found out her husband had been messaging her best friend, im sure the op wasn't thinking that clearly when posting it.

pugsake Fri 30-Sep-16 10:08:25

Is kicking and punching in real life still frowned upon? angry

I am very pissed off.

HeyNannyNanny Fri 30-Sep-16 10:10:09

The cheating husband one is a grey area as the OP definitely had mitigating circumstances for that one.

Though had a husband posted "AIBU to cvut off my wife's vulva with a pair of scissors" it would have been taken completely differently.

I don't know...I had/have every sympathy for the poor woman but it doesn't make what she said right.

tibbawyrots Fri 30-Sep-16 10:11:07

I think that to an extent it is a figure of speech. Thinking back to when I was at school and friends would say "my mum would kill me if I said/did that". No one actually believed that the said parent would do that but it was to emphasise how wrong it was to do or say something.

I suspect it's because DV is no longer a taboo subject and people are encouraged not to put up and shut up that we are far more aware of sensitive phrases such as have been cited and they are possibly now "something we used to say" rather than be used so flippantly.

Remember this is an Internet forum and some people come here to shock and be shocked. There is an awful lot of exaggeration in posts here and you can tell the point when a relatively sensible thread turns with posters desperately trying to outvie each other's tall tales.

Meandered a bit there, sorry! grin

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